How can I turn down a women much older than me without saying anything to hurt her feelings?

Hey everyone. I know this women in her late 30's (i think 39) from my gym for just over a year. My interactions have never shown any affection other than the usual casual "hey" or "hi, how are you?" type questions. Then about 2 weeks ago she asked me out and it sort of caught me off-guard and for some strange reason i accepted (i have no idea why and i realize now that its a mistake to accept her) to go out on a date. She also asked me in plane sight of everyone else and i think her friends were also watching so maybe i felt a little inclined to not reject her there in front of eveyone.

We went on a "date" and although i tried to best explain to her that we can just be friends she was like "Oh, don't worry, we won't rush into anything for now" and "you never know what the future holds", so i don't think what i told her went through to her.

I am not looking for any kind of relationship and i was just wondering if you folks can offer some advice on how i can tell her nicely that its just not for me without her feeling depressed or hurting her feelings? Please help


Most Helpful Girl

  • Next time you see her at the gym, just pull her to the side and explain that she's lovely but you're not interested, and that you're not looking for a relationship right now. Then do nothing to initiate contact with her, and if she asks you out again, just say something like "sorry, like I said, I can't".

    • ok, seems like a good way to handle the situation, thank you

Most Helpful Guy

  • damn dont you hate it when older women hit on you. puts you in a weird position. youve expired lady.

    • yes, i have actually had it happen to me twice this year. you feel so weird. i feel sort of sorry for her but damn

    • Show All
    • @coffeprince hey the truth is the truth lady. i got you some crochet needles grandma

    • Hahaha y'know I'll take them because I'm actually learning to crochet...

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • No matter what you say or do, she will be sad about it. It's best to deal with it like a band-aid and just tell her that you don't see any romantic future with her.

  • Get a good platonic girlfriend to pretend to be your new girlfriend for a day, and introduce her to this 39-year old.

    • haha, she knows i am single for a fact. She spoke to one of my close buddies at the gym.

    • Man, I have no idea, other than to say you think of her as a second mom, and (*hint hint*) hopes she finds a good guy to be with, etc. Blunt but not brutal.