Is it ok to support someone s drug habit financially if they bring your comfort?

I lost my wonderful husband of 16 years. We had a great love and I almost lost my mind. About 14 months into widowhood and nonstop crying, the guy from high school, the one that got away type thing called. Fast forward 8 months of us being together. It has been fantastic and horrid both. I am having issues with my guilt of trying to move on and a little too much drinking. He has an ex that is an absolute nightmare and uses their child to cause problems. She faked a job so she could cheat on him, she screwed all his friends etc which makes him very untrusting and afraid to care. We kinda settled into a volatile routine. I work hard and own a business. He is an 1 1/2 ounce a week pot smoker with no job and no intention of getting one. He does own his home because he had it before his ex broke his heart but his parents pay his rent utilities buy his gas and keep his car on the road. My question is this. Is it okay to support someone's drug habit when there with you if they give you what you need? His good qualities are he cooks, he gets food stamps (crappy I know) so he buys the groceries, he says what I need to hear, calls several times a day, sex is super awesome, he spends most of his time with me, he is very affectionate (hand holding etc) and he is the only man I have had any interest in since my beloved husband passed. He makes me genuinely laugh and think maybe I can pick up the pieces of my life. He has a child that I love. The bad side of him is the crazy ex, guards his heart, pot makes him super lazy and spoiled and he is super secretive with his phone I assume because of his deals to get his pot when he's not here but could be way worse. Sometimes he gets so stoned he says hurtful things. I am struggling with is he here for pot or for me and does it even matter if right now it's getting me through the day. I'm not perfect either I sometimes get mean when my grief comes out. My life a year ago I was praying for death maybe this turmoil is better?


0|0
2|3

Most Helpful Guy

  • Look up codependency, it's a bad unhealthy dysfunctional relationship and you will regret it later. You should look into counseling for yourself.

    1|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 2

  • If you want to support an emotionally closed off, lazy, drug using deadbeat in exchange for good sex and flattery, that's entirely your right.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I dont even have to read all that to realize your one of those girls that is perpetuating the cycle of drug abuse because your not confident enough to move on or do something about it

    Yak

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • You are lonely. I think it is ok temporarily to stop you from getting lost in your grief BUT make sure you continue to work on yourself and heal. It doesn't sound like this guy is a long term prospect.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...