Men is it hard to be monogamous?


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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • no, its just asses who find it hard. so dont forget to drop them when you come across one & don't go with the 'i'll give him a 2nd chance' bs

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What Guys Said 36

  • I don't find it hard to monogamous. I'd find it harder to be unfaithful than faithful to me wife

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  • Let me tell you like this.
    I am a DJ and for some stupid reason beautiful women offer themselves to me every night (I say stupid because this is just about my job and has nothing to do with me and also never happens to me when I am not DJ'ing)

    I still have no problem at all being monogamous. So, I say , No, it's not hard.

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  • No it's very easy, I just want one woman who loves me and I love her. It seems like I am asking for too much though.

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  • Fuck yeah it's HARD.

    I am a bar bouncer - and certainly the oldest REAL bar bouncer in my town - which is known as a hard drinking town. And I routinely have girls less than half my age who literally throw themselves at me.

    And I think - "damn I'm 53 and if I bed a 22 year old woman I will be the HERO of the universe!" But then I think... "well, I'm still a hero if I KNOW I can get her if I wanted... so I don't have to sleep with her."

    THANK GOD the bar doesn't close until around 5am each morning. None of those girls will stay that long! If one did... it would be REAL HARD to turn her down. Actually, that's not true though... I have resisted... one stayed until closing and then asked for a ride home and I gave it to her. She asked me to come inside for a "drink" and I told her... "I'm real tired". That was actually true because we had a big fight in the bar that night and I took some shots in it.

    Why is it hard? I don't know... I love my wife - DESPERATELY - but the thought of a new girl just tickles something in my evolutionary male brain. I literally have to LIGHT FIRE to that part of my brain. Is it doable? Monogamy? Oh yeah. Is it hard? Oh yeah... excruciatingly so!

    Nothing worthwhile (like my marriage) is easy though... so I'll just keep fighting on!

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  • Don't believe the guys who are simply saying it's easy. Its hard.
    Though, however much we don't like to believe, we are created with animal instincts an guys evolved as reproducers who wants many mates to keep species alive. So we need to constantly remind of "humanistic" values.. such as love , devotion and caring. so It needs love, affection and a great deal of commitment and understanding and emotional quotient to be monogamous. It's hard, but we learn ourselves to be!
    If it ain't hard, there won't be so much cheaters, right

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    • Not everyone feels the same way you do.

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    • That's BS women have that same drive.

    • Thanks for comments.
      @RachelBrig, my comment is neither based in my feelings nor on everyone's feelings (which I don't know and as u decipher is subject to wide variation). I tried to take "man" in general, add to it what's happening throughout the world from Adam and Eve till now, and wants of men. Men are not angels and even the most faithful of men gets turned on by other women, gets nasty thoughts, do get boners not particularly to his partner only.
      So, what I said may not be completely right, but it ain't too far from truth. I said it's hard, but that's what makes good men , good men. And after all, world is built by men (and women) doing what is hard :)
      @asker, if women have the same drive, should it make what I said BS?
      @Kelly_99, thank you

  • It's not hard for me, but I'm rather introverted and quiet, which it seems to me most women don't find attractive, either that or they just don't find me attractive, either way I have been told I'm intimidating and hard to approach, so I get like 0 offers, so it makes staying faithful very easy for me, because nobody talks or interacts with me.

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  • It's not hard at all. Though I don't plan on getting in a monogamous relationship right now, it's not because I find it difficult, but because I haven't found the right girl and I prefer being with more than one woman.
    But once I get in a relationship, I'm not one that desires other women and cheats. It's easy to stay monogamous once you're in a relationship.

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  • no, it is not

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  • Not hard at all.

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  • well my longest relationship was a little over a year, and i had no problems over those 13-14 months

    I think its easy tbh, but i can see why a guy who is unhappy in 20+year relationship would want to cheat, or be promiscuous...

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  • No, it's very easy.

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  • No, one loyal girl is better than 1000 hoes.

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  • Nope. Most natural thing in the world for me. Truth be told, I wish women followed my example more closely.

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  • No not at all... I would direct this question at boys though, not men.

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  • This isn't a sex question where an entire sex finds it hard or easy its an individual issue some men will say yes others no I personally say that its not hard to be monogamous if you care for the girl and if you don't feel tied down by her.

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  • I find it very difficult hence I have accepted that I'm poly and want a poly girl so we can be a primary pair but have that fun side of sex with others when we want.

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  • Absolutely not (at least for me). The hardest part is finding a woman who deserves it. Only loyal and honest people deserve loyalty and honesty.

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  • Yeah I wanna stick my dick in every hole I can find

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  • In this day and age, more often than not. Is it doable, absoultely.

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  • Not to me it isn't.

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  • No it isn't. I hear of more women cheating than men anyway.

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  • You wouldn't believe how hard it is

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  • No, I'd find cheating harder.

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  • If I was monogamous I could tell you. I'm kind of missing the "gamous" part.

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  • doesn't take a genius to see that the opposit'll be much harder

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  • Nor at all, with the right woman.

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  • Not for me. I would find it very difficult NOT to be monogamous.

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  • For most guys it probably isn't because they have to work pretty hard to have additional opportunities. For a small proportion of very high value guys it would be pretty tough because there are a LOT of REALLY attractive opportunities that come their way frequently without them even trying too hard.

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    • Do you really think it is hard for most men to get opportunities? There are pelt y of hoes out there and sometimes just seeing he has a decent girlfriend is enough to make them want him. It's like oh he's with her? Than he must be worth having and if I 'get' him I'm better than her.

    • True, but even then, most guys have to be actively trying to find another opportunity. That's different from what hot girls experience which is an endless stream of guys giving it a shot! lol!

  • Nope, if the girl is boring, then the monogamous relationship might be boring and a guy might cheat or dump her. in my opinion dumping her is obviously the morally correct thing to do though.

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  • For me it depends - most of the relationships I'm in, it's not hard, but sometimes I want to stray. I think I have what scientists call the cheater's gene, and apparently 42% of everybody has this (discovered around 2006 or 7), which can be regressed (controlled for one variable) to prove correlation with actual cheating activity. I also don't believe 100% in monogamy - I think it's outlived its purpose - back in the caveman days, a person died at 25-35, so it was easy due to lack of opportunity, especially when you figure that clan groups were small and if someone wanted to fool around, they were either banished or killed. Today, with less need for children to propagate the species due to overpopulation, and with the pill and other birth control methods, I think the idea of fidelity has very little going for it going forward except as a personal choice by those who wish to live like that. But I don't see it as the be-all-and-end-all of virtuous, moral behavior - as its original primary reason was so that a man would not waste resources on a child not his own (going back to the early agricultural and animal husbandry days, or as is found in Abrahamic religions). Doesn't mean I whole-heartedly approve of ONS and casual sex either (but I do see FB and friends with benefits as ok).

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What Girls Said 3

  • I am a woman and I want to marry 5 guys too then!

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  • I think it depends on the person. Most men and women probably wouldn't have any problem being monogamous. I know you asked about men, but I'm a woman, and it can be somewhat hard for me. I would never cheat because I despise cheaters, and I love my guy and care about him too much to ever hurt him, but I can't help fantasising and lusting over other attractive males. I think it's because some people, including me, have an extensive list of what we would want in our partner, and while we understand that it's unrealistic since nobody is that perfect, you can still crave experiencing certain things or qualities your SO just doesn't possess, as good as he/she may be in all other areas, and it can be hard controlling these urges.

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  • I'm a woman, but sometimes I've found hard to be monogamous and know from talking to friends that they struggle with thoughts and temptation at least too. I don't think it's just a male issue.


    I've personally found when I push myself to be with someone that I know deep down that I'm not a great fit with, it's much harder to stay mentally faithful. It's hard, because you can feel a lot of pressure to "not be so picky" or "let people grow on you" or "let him lead" ... But sometimes going against your gut instinct under pressure backfires.

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    • Well, maybe if you know y'all are not a great fit, y'all should not be together... I am no trying to be a know it all, but...

    • I agree, hence explaining some reasons people stick in relationships that don't seem quite right.

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