Why do people act rude and bitter when women have preferences?

For example when I say I'm only attracted to tall guys, and because of that won't date shorter men, people bash me for it and give rude comments. Why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Forget them haters, that's your preferences

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know. People have their insecurities and want everything to be politically correct but deep down we all have preferences and can't help what we're attracted to. Everyone will find something to whine about for eternity, it won't change anything and anyone who bashes you for having preferences for dating is just being a hypocrite because they to, will have preferences and standards, no matter how much they refuse to admit it.

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What Guys Said 42

  • Nothing more than a guy being constantly rejected, projecting his frustration and anger around.

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  • vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    "Why do people act rude and bitter when women have preferences?"... "For example when I say I'm only attracted to tall guys, and because of that won't date shorter men..."

    What annoys me about questions like this is that people, time and time again, misunderstand what preferences actually are...

    If you claim that you are "only" attracted to tall men then that's hardly a preference.

    vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    Which leads me on to another point saying it is very unlikely that attraction for one quality which is continuous (such as height) can be so isolated for it to be such a discriminating factor. If anything, if you had a preference for tall guys then I could see the idea of being short is a turn-off that tends to outweigh other attractive qualities in which you find in men then I could understand that. But for you to flat out say you are only attracted to tall men is a naive generalization. It's almost as if you want to believe that you are only attracted to tall men when it is very likely it's not specifically height by itself which that is the absolute thing towards your claim.

    vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    If you claim you are "only" attracted to tall men, you are also indirectly saying all other attractive qualities you may find attractive in a guy are automatically void if they not tall enough which is a double standard.

    Oh and regarding men's bitterness and rudeness towards "preferences". Usually when we dive into the reasoning behind those "preferences," those "preferences" tend to be based on prejudice and over generalizations. This goes for male preference bashing as well.

    @Mesonfielde What's your opinion on what I said? Any things you don't agree with or I haven't considered?

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    • Seems legit to me

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    • "You clearly don't understand me, or you refuse to."... Yes I do understand; you are claiming you are only attracted to tall men. You also used this claim as an example for preferences which it clearly isn't a preference."

      "... I know I'm only attracted to tall men and that's it." No, I refuse to accept that "that's it" about your claim since there are so many implications towards what being "tall" means.
      "... I don't understand why people feel the need to question it or give rude comments about it." I already gave you reasons why. It seems you just don't want to accept those as reasons. As I said before, voicing discontent is a reason for some people to give rude comments about it.

      As to questioning your claim, I call you aren't "only" attracted to tall men. That's inductive reasoning which can't hold much to over 2 billion men. It's not definitive.

    • So basically you know better than me what I'm attracted to and not? Get over yourself. You know nothing about me or what I'm attracted to and not and talking to you is a complete waste of time because you refuse to accept anything I say. Like talking to a wall really. I'm done with you.

  • Why do people bash me for saying I don't wanna date a fat chick? Or a tallk chick? Or an emo chick? it's not because you're a woman, not everything is sexism, it's because people get offended when you don't have the type they are as they feel rejected.

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  • Because only men are allowed to have preferences.. Duh!

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  • Because they're self conscious about their flaws.

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  • Lol same reasons desperate sexually frustrated sloots on here downvote me when I say big boobs are must

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  • Probably because its kinda shallow and based on something the other person can't really change, although I believe that everyone is allowed to have a preference no matter how shallow it seems.

    Also this doesn't happen only with women, If there was a post about breast size and I said that I like big tits and thats why I refuse to date anyone who has less than D's I guarantee you I would get down arrowed and get some comments about it.

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  • Probably because its a really dumb idea to exclude people based on something arbitrary. At your age you can get away with it because the playing field is still pretty open. Once you are over 30 and still single... its a really dumb idea.

    I dated a girl who couldn't handle my height (5'6", she is 5'4")., she only wanted 6' guys. Even though in her words I was the best guy she had ever known, she couldn't get over her issue with height.

    I tried explaining that chasing a unicorn is a bad idea she just kept letting it get in the way. Three years later she keeps wanting to get back together because... shocker... she can't find her unicorn.

    Expand your range a little. You may be shocked at what's out there.

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    • Another butthurt short man I see. Tell me why I would want to date a man I'm not attracted to and have no feelings for. Tell me, I want to hear it. I'm sick of men like you who seem to expect woman to just be attracted to everyone and go out with the first guy who asks. It doesn't work like that. Everyone exclude people like that. You are not attracted to every woman out there and guess what - every woman is not attracted to you either.

      And unicorn? What are you talking about? Do you mean tall men are as rare as unicorns? That's ridiculous. There are a lot of tall men out there and I have no problem finding them and getting dates so don't you worry about it.

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    • Wow man don't take her back... I want to add my recent ex I was in the same boat... I was considered her best boyfriend by her kids her family and friends co workers etc... We were very close we did everything together I gave her my world but she had this preference of balled guys with huge muscles aka meatheads and she kept letting it bother her and she ended up cheating on me with her ex who had those looks even though they didn't work out and her excuse was "I'm sorry I just love big muscles they turn me on". We had sex all the time and tons of cuddle and affection and she wanted to get married buuut

    • And she is 40 years old 3 kids 2 divorces... I wished her best of luck and cut her off...

  • "Sorry I'm not attracted to height queens"

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    • And this is exactly what I'm talking about. Why does it bother you so much that I like tall men?

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    • If you are telling me to not limit my options and only date people I'm attracted to you are telling me to date people I'm not physically/sexually attracted to then you're telling me who I should date. What if I tell you go out and date all fat and ugly girls? I mean, don't limit your options...

      And no, for me there are no attractive short guys. To some other women short guys can be attractive but not to me. But that's how it works - not everyone is attracted to everyone and I'm not attracted to short men period!

      I'm done with this conversation because it's obviously a waste of time. You refuse to understand and it's like talking to a wall. Bye.

    • Well in that case, people are annoyed because you're acting stuck up.

  • cos they are losers.

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  • because you can't change height. it's a standard that you have that's 100% genetic and out of their control. it's the mentality that you will ditch a short guy can have an amazing personality who's otherwise attractive physically for a guy who's tall that is less attractive and kinda a dickhead. it comes off as extremely superficial. it's like when girls bitch about guys liking girls only with big tits and is a hot piece of ass. granted, i personally like girls with bigger boobs and an ass, but most guys really don't give a shit and not having either is a deal breaker unlike girls who tend to have this strict cutoff, like you seem to. and then, no offense, but then tend to complain about finding the right guy.

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    • What you don't understand is that if he's not tall he's not physically/sexually attractive to me. Should I date someone I'm not at all attracted to or what? Why is it important that everyone is attracted to everyone? It doesn't work like that and will never happen. Some people find you attractive and some don't. That's how it works.

      And just because a man is tall he has to be a dickhead and less attractive? There are no attractive and nice tall guys? Are you serious?

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    • *becomes shorter*

    • I can't explain why I'm only attracted to tall men. It's just how I am. I do not find short men physically/sexually attractive that's all. Just like you don't find men attractive (if you're straight). It's not something you decide or have a reason for - it just is. And why am I a bitch because I'm not attracted to everyone? No one is attracted to everyone/everything.

      And this is just stupid: "so what happens if someone is about, let's say a fraction inch shorter than you, but for whatever reason, he is a fraction taller than you the next day? or the reverse? is he not attractive and then the next day make you soaking wet (or the opposite for the other scenario)? does he have to be 2 or 3 inches taller? what about if he's taller and then you wear heals and he because shorter?"
      I only like men that are a lot taller than me. He would never be shorter than me even if I had very high heels on.

  • Because you judge the persons entire worth on a single trait, in this case one they have no control over. That itself isn't even an issue except for the fact tha women everywhere shame men who don't like fat women, or skinny women, or ugly women, or tall women etc. etc. etc.
    Of all characteristics its a rather stupid one to fixate on but again I don't see an issue with it if you want to pass on some one simply because of how tall they are thats your perogative.

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    • Why is it so hard to understand that I am not physically/sexually attracted to a short man? Just like you probably wouldn't be attracted to a very ugly, overweight woman. Not only men have things they're attracted to and not - women have that to. And not judging a persons entire worth on a single trait - I'm just saying I wouldn't date him because I'm not attracted to him! That doesn't mean he's a bad guy or whatever, just that I'm not interested in him romantically. That people don't get this is ridiculous.

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    • I never criticised you for your preferences, I merely stated it seemed rather stupid to grade a person on a single characteristic. Overweight isn't an issue if their are other characteristics that are good. Extremes are of course going to affect things, its one thing to be overweight its another to be obese. But again as I stated thats your perogative but what is an issue is when women criticise men for having those standards. If a man thought you where to tall and was by extention not interested in you their is a high probability that you would be offended, thats where the issue lies, the double standard/hypocrisy. "not judging a persons entire worth on a single trait - I'm just saying I wouldn't date him because I'm not attracted to him!" - ie you are judging his worth (as a prospective mate) on a single trait. Again thats your right, I think its a bad call since again you are cutting your dating pool down to a fraction of what it could be but that is your perogative.

    • So why are you offended that you are being judged on your judgment? Why can you not understand that this is something others will judge you on just as you judge some one on height? Its the same premise.

  • Because it only amplifies how picky women are and decreases even more for guys that are short their chances of getting a women so they take offense to it because their really isn't they can do about it. How tall do they need to be btw?

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    • So? Men always go on about things like "I don't fat fat girls", "I don't want an ugly girl" and whatever. But as soon as a woman says she's attracted something specific then all hell breaks loose. Apparantly women have to be attracted to every single man out there or she's too picky, have too high standards and is deserving of receiving nasty comments.

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    • No if you are ugly you can't fix that. At least not without plastic surgery. And anyway why does it matter? Everyone is not attracted to you. Just like everyone is not attracted to me. That's how it how it works. Why can't people deal with it?

    • I guess because they don't want to be left out of the dating for that reason also

  • Why do guy's get bashed when they say they don't want to date a girl with a certain number of sexual partners?

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    • I don't know, ask them. I don't care about what other people are attracted to and not.

  • It's like how as a short guy I have been criticised for going out with a tall women. People are just narrow minded and I find women tend be just as narrow-minded in men when it comes to preferences.

    Take white women, they're happy to date outside of their race, but when white men do it, it becomes "all those Asian and Latina's taking our men".

    Society is just full of idiots.

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  • preferences are fine... but imagine a guy just casually said " wow a girl like (insert everything you are and what you look like here) is horrible... i would never date such a girl). how would you react to that? like: "yeah you´re right who would date that girl" ?

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    • I would think he was rude but I would not say anything and I would also not care about his preferences or what he's attracted to. Some people are attracted to me and some are not - just like it is for everyone else.

      And I have never said anything like that. I'm talking about guys who post questions here specifically asking about what height for guys you're attracted to. When I tell them people give me rude comments because I say like tall guys.

    • see you said it´s "rude" that´s what people think if they hear a girl not prefering what they represent. it makes you sad and gives you the urge to complain about it. it especially hurts, when you´re long time single or virgin (like many people on this site) so that you don´t have the experience that "some people are attracted to you"

      i mean your preference isn´t all that special. most guys won´t date girls taller than them either... so i don´t get why they get worked up about that.

  • Suppose I am a tall guy and you approach me and say " Hey, I want to go out with you because you are tall, so I am attracted to you." And I tell you "Hey, I am only attracted to non-ugly girls , so.. sorry."

    Just. My. Preference.

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    • Are you serious? I don't tell people who approach me I'm not attracted to them! I'm talking about here on the internet. When someone posts a question asking "How tall does the man have to be for you to be attracted to him" or something along those lines and if I answer I get nasty comments just because I like tall guys. That is what I'm talking about.

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    • Maybe your voice sounded too weird when you said "Not interested" and the guys thought "Lol what a voice, thank God she rejected me"

    • Yeah probably. Or maybe I'm just lucky enough to live in a country where most men can handle a no without starting to question the girl. Who knows. Anyway I don't care about what other people are attracted to and not. And if there's someone who doesn't want to date me I don't care about their reason either. I do not understand why other people seem to care so much.

  • Well that's not a preference really. It's more of a demand if there's no circumstance in which you'd date a shorter guy. That's still fine though and i wouldn't bash, but i wouldn't trust you in a relationship. Like "oh shit if i was shorter, everything inside me she claims to love would be worth noting to her"

    So yea, i wouldn't bash because I'm not crazy enough to believe you represent 100 percent of the female population, but i do pass judgement on people with demands about superficial things like height.

    But it goes both ways. Women say the same dumb shit guys say about preferences on this site.

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    • Oh fuck i forgot. I take it back. Superficiality is a positive trait in human beings. Mhm. Sure is.

  • There's nothing wrong with having preferences as long as you aren't mean harsh or hypocritical about it.

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  • If you don't want to receive rude opinions stop giving stupid comments. .. don't think im being rude here.. just think with your head... when a guy telling you that he doesn't like you, because you are and you are and you are... what would be your reaction? .. u get that...
    The point is there are some stuff that we need to keep it to ourselves, you might think it's nothing but it might hurt somebody else. .. people has insecurities, everybody does, height and size are the biggest.. if you think you like tall guys keep it to yourself, you don't need to tell short guys that you like the tall ones... THAT'S RUDE... hope you learned the lesson.

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  • Women like this is what makes men bitter u can say. Why would u not date sumone ur height as well? When u think about it, its quite funnay. Why wouldn't u give those ur height a chance? When they constantly getting rejected for that shiz, they became frustrated and building up hatred inside of then. Sadly there's not enough cuties for every doods so the cuties have the power to choose. I wonder what would be like if women outnumbered men ;P

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    • Because I'm not attracted to them? Should I date a guy I don't feel physically/sexually attracted to? No thank you.

      And you're talking about "cuties". Why don't you date ugly girls? Why do you just go after the cuties? Why don't you go out with very ugly girls?

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    • Unattainable standards? Not at all. There are plenty of tall men out there.

      Anyway I do not wish to waste more time discussing this with a grown man who writes like that. It's ridiculous.

    • I do not wish to discuss this with a grown woman who act like a little gurl and juz as naive as back in elemtary school. Hope u claim dat trophy towers of urs and happily showed it off to friends and family 👍🏼 but before we depart i wanna give u ma last prayers for the journey ur about to travel ahead of u. May God blast u 🙏🏻

  • The same reason I've been bashed for not having interest in a overweight woman. Nobody likes to be excluded.

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  • It's like saying "I'm only attracted to white people", in both cases, it's not something they can change and it's more like you're saying there's something wrong or off-putting about their quality than it just being something you prefer.

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    • Then why ask? If you can't take the answer don't ask. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to only white people, or black people or Asian people or whatever. Just because someone isn't attracted to you it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. No one is attracted to everyone. I don't get why people take it so personally. I don't care if someone isn't attracted to me or anyone who looks like me. Some people are attracted to me and some are not, just like it is for everyone else.

    • Eh, ask? I didn't ask anything... Also I agree that people have different preferences. I think it's more about the wording, saying "only attracted to" implies a certain exclusivity to it, and people are known to not like being excluded. The word "prefer" is safer in that it doesn't excluded anyone but also gives people an idea of who you'd be attracted to.

      Here's a little example:
      "I only date thin girls"
      this will then =
      "I don't date fat girls" which raises the line of questioning of "why? what's wrong with fat (or thick girls or whatever, not trying to put a negative connotation here, just putting an example) girls?"

      However, when I say "I tend to prefer thin girls"
      well in this case I never excluded other girls from my preferences, I just stated where I lean in terms of attraction, so no problemo.

      However, if you don't see a problem with using the first phrase and don't understand how it might offend people, then I do indeed disagree with your standpoint.

    • Yeah so this is all about being politically correct and not hurting someones ego then. That's what you're saying. Because it's definitely not about the truth. I have never in my life been attracted to a shorter man so why should I say "I tend to prefer tall men" instead of "I'm only attracted to tall men"? People need to understand that not everyone is attracted to them and that there's nothing weird about that and it doesn't mean there is something wrong with them either.

  • because no one asks you. have a preference sure, but don't go to your roof shouting it for the world to hear

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    • Yes they asked me! I am talking about on here. When people post questions like "How much taller than you does the guy have to be" or "How tall/short men are you attracted to". Whenever I say I like tall men I get rude comments.

    • girl you're talking about the internet? you're gonna piss off anybody saying anything, especially things that you like and don't like lol

    • Yeah I'm talking about the internet and I guess you're right.

  • I am not short first off, so take that into mind... On the other hand, if the respondee gives an equal rejection back I notice the Mr. 'Isn't tall, muscular, etc. etc. enough' says somethings the girl goes crazy.

    Some women as well as some women just want to hate on people...

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  • Well you got to understand that a short man is short his entire life, there is really nothing he can do about it at all. When a man is told he is not good enough because of something that god gave him that he has no control over, it can cause great sadness and feelings of exclusion.

    Here is my counter-question: What if you were dating a wonderful tall man and he got hit by a car and lost the lower part of his legs, and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Would you leave him because he suddenly got shorter due to a car hitting him when he was just trying to cross the street?

    Just some things to think about.

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  • Well how tall are you?

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  • because that are bashed for being small on a daily bases besides, preferences are held with too much importance... while standards are not. say you finally find your big, strong hunk, things a great til you live with him... then you find out he's an abusive psychopath. i'm against living together before marriage... but the type of guys i mentioned? not so much

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    • i meant they are bashed.

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    • Just because I'm only attracted to tall men doesn't mean I would date an abusive psycpopath just because he was tall -_- Believe it or not but good men who are also tall does exist. It's not exclusive for short guys.

      And many men focus on beauty, body size and how willing she's in bed. Why does it matter? We all have things we are attracted to and not but some men seem to think women have to be attracted to every man out there and be with the first guy who asks her - if not she's a superficial bitch and doesn't deserve a "good" guy. I don't get why many men seem to have such a hard time accepting that women too have both standards and preferences/things they are attracted to and not just like men have.

    • that's not what i'm saying. i'm simply saying not to prioritize size that you don't end up with an abuser.

  • it's kinda like when guys say they like chicks with big butts or fair skinned or fair eyed women... It's nothing to take seriously. Stick to your preferences

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  • Because women say that they like the personality, when it is true that everybody has there personality and body preferences.
    It just seems a lazy excuse to reject people.
    But you are free to like only tall guys, but remember there are short guys that can make you fall in love for them, like there are girls that werent my type but their personalitys made me interested on them.

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    • No there isn't. Because I'm not attracted to short guys. I can not fall in love with someone I'm not attracted to. Of course he can be an awesome guy even if he's short but he would still never be more than a friend because why would I be in a relationship with someone I feel no attraction towards and have no feelings for? That just doesn't make any sense.

    • There are two types of attraction:
      The body atrraction that changes with age and background. In my case i am now very attacted to blue eyed women.
      The personality attraction it stays the same. I would date a non-blue eyed women if she had a dominent and strong personality, i would fell attracted to her because she is rare and not ordinary.
      Im not judging you, you are free. But remember that you have 2 forms of attaction and letting you be guided just by one of those is a little irresponsible.
      And you are young your desires on tall guys can change. And if you dont like his personality anymore+dont find him that hot= shit.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 15

  • Because they feel like demonizing women for being 'superficial', having 'unrealistic standards' that are completely ridiculous will make the women be in the wrong. Sort of justifying being rejected, making it as the dumpee's gain versus a loss or blow to their ego.

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    • It's the double standard that angers men, I am all for women having preferences, you're attracted to what you're attracted to but when men state they don't want a woman with kids, or a fat woman or a woman that earns more money then they do, then shit hits the fan with some women.

    • @LorcaNovena
      agreed. If you truly want equality, you've got to remember that goes both ways! :P

  • Plain and simply because people have fragile self esteem. They take the prospect personally, putting themselves in the place of someone who is rejected based on height. Chances are the people with an issue with this are short and have been rejected for similar reasons. Pay no mind to it, everyone has preferences.

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  • Because men love to whine and complain about literally anything then they turn around and say "EWW THIS GIRL IS A SIZE 6 AND NOT A 2? EWWWWW!!"

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  • They're projecting their insecurities because you're one more woman in the world who prefers something they're not. That's all it is really.

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  • They obviously miss the target 🎯 and its whining and tantrum session now.

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  • They take it personally...
    But you stick to your preferences. Everyone has them - even when they don't want to admit it.
    But what you said isn't a preference - it's a requirement... that's different. Since you said you won't date shorter men - not that you'd prefer to date tall men, but you'd only date the tall ones.
    Still your own choice, but more offensive to those that aren't tall...

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  • I feel the same way, start learning to not give a fuck what people think

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  • Because being fastidious is unattractive. But they have no right to be rude to you. Why would they want to be with someone who is very superficial anyway.

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    • And I'm sure you are attracted to every single man out there? Yeah? Ok good girl. Most aren't though.

    • http://i.imgur.com/FEk6h.gif

      Nope. But do you know the difference between a preference and a requirement. When you only choose to date tall men when only 14% of guys are actually 6ft+ it's picky.

      Although it is kinda hilarious someone so rude complains about others being rude to them.

    • I'm rude to people who are rude to me and you were rude.

      So? Why is this a problem? If I'm picky let me be picky! Why does it matter to other people? Why do I deserve to receive rude comments about it? I have never in my life been attracted to a short man so why should I date them?

      And actually no, in my country 6'0 is about average actually.

  • because they don't understand!

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  • You come across as shallow.

    You wouldn't date the best guy in the world just because he's under your arbitrary height limit? People tend to dislike that.

    Anyway having standards is fine, but what I notice most often, is that girls who set these arbitrary standards, often whine about how hard it is to find a boyfriend. This hypocrisy is the actual problem. Only wanting to date tall guys is fine, just don't come crying to me when you can't find anyone to meet your impossibly high standards.

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    • So what you're saying is I should date people I'm not physically/sexually attracted to?

    • She is saying you need to be more lenient with your standards.

      When I was a teenager, me and a lot of other guys my age had ridiculously high standards. But with age we have all come to realize that people have flaws and eccentricities and a woman doesn't need to be a 9/10 to be appealing. Nobody is telling you to date unappealing people, but rather to learn to appreciate people who are not within your narrow sliver of 'hot' guys.

      Kirah is right about how people with high standards shoot themselves in the foot. The higher your standards for any quality or qualities, the fewer the people who will meet those standards and you lose the ability to filter out other unfavorable qualities without remaining single. For example, if you were only willing to date rich people and the few rich people you knew were assholes, you would either have to stay single or have a miserable love life.

    • @tyber1 It's not about standards, it's about being attracted. I do not choose what I'm attracted to and not. Short guys are a turn off for me and there is nothing I can do about that. Either I accept that and date tall men or I don't accept it and date people I'm not attracted to. Why would I ever do that? Why would I want a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to and have no feelings for? What's the point of that? I would rather stay single than to be with someone I'm not attracted to. I don't want a relationship just to be able to say I have a boyfriend or to not be alone. I want a relationship with someone I'm truly attracted to and feel an emotional connection with. If someone is a good person but I'm not attracted to him then he can be a friend but never more than that.

      And why do other people care so much? Why does it even bother them at all? I mean how does it affect you what I'm attracted to and not?

  • Because you're actually taking their opinions and comments seriously. You like what you like. If people don't like it when you vocalize that preference, then they don't like it. But you shouldn't get all butthurt over it, it's just their opinion.

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  • The thought of the idea, their body form isn't preferred by the girls, is an atrocious insult to them privately. It's just jealousy.

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  • Cause usually they feel as if you're being shallow or they don't fall under your preferred category

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  • because it makes them feel excluded

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  • They're losers, that's why. They always do it.

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