Why do so many guys on here assume that girls have it super easy when it comes to dating?

why do so many guys on here assume that girls have it super easy when it comes to dating and that all, or at leats most girls, get approached often etc?

Im not supermodel attractive nor very outgoing, so maybe thats why my sitatuation is what it is, but finding a cool guy to date is very hard actually.

i have asked guys out (been stood up pretty much everytime), i have approached guys, i have been inactive and let guys approach me etc. I have done this for 2-3 years or so, and i still haven't met a guy that i have a connection with (that lasted)

Many of my friend experience the same.. they got approached a bit more then me, bu they are more outgoing and it was mostly guys who only wanted sex so they still didn't get what they wanted.

yeah, i do get approached.. but not by the guys i want.. So picture a scenario where the only few girls that showed any interest with you were realy obese girl or unattractive girls that aren't interesting nor have anything emtionally, mentally or physically to offer you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say ALL women have it easier but SOME women certainly do and I would say as MOST women do not approach men, it's harder for men because there is more pressure, men are supposed to approach women.

    If women are getting approached by guy after guy that doesn't float their boat then they need to be PROACTIVE.

    I have sympathy for women who expect everything to be given to them because they were born with a vagina.

    Sort yourselves out, please, the self-entitlement SOME women have is scandalous.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They feel this way because they are only seeing their side of the story. They don't realize that women have the same problems. They just assume that women have it much easier. But they don't. The only people who have it easy are those who are very likeable, popular and really good looking who also happen to be very lucky in dating.

    They don't see that women have the same fears, problems and challenges when it comes to dating. I've seen so many questions on here where guys are complaining about not being able to find a girlfriend, but then they say the only girls who approach them are too fat, or are ugly. Well excuse me, but maybe they need to really think whether their standards may be too high?

    I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but sometimes giving a person a shot is not the end of the world. I can't tell you how many guys refuse to even go for a coffee with me just because of how I look.

    I'm not a supermodel, but neither are they. I don't approach guys who are super fit and super good looking, I know my value in the looks department.

    It's frustrating, but you can't take it personally. Not everyone is going to like you. I think when it comes to guys who say women have it easier, they don't see the tears and broken hearts of the girls who have the same problems.

    It's really crappy when you invest lots of time in a relationship to find out it was all a lie. It's also crappy when you have a hard time meeting people in real life.

    We all face challenges. The only people who have it easier are the lucky ones lol

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What Guys Said 21

  • I think its easy for girls to get sex. Getting a guy to want a committed relationship us more difficult.

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  • 1. Before marriage, the average woman has the option of sitting on her duff and waiting for options to present themselves to her, as if she were royalty. The average man does not.

    2. During marriage, the average woman has the option of leaving the task of bread-winning to her spouse and expecting not to be viewed as a lazy waste of flesh for doing so. The average man does not.

    3. In divorce, the average woman can expect to keep her kids and the house in which she lives while reaping financial gain. The average man cannot.

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  • There was this obese girl from middle school and high school who wanted to get laid with me, she kept forcing herself on me one day because she liked how my voice changed... Thank God I didn't have sex with her, she probably would've murdered me. I've mentioned this many times before, but I find all girls attractive. However, this girl scared the living shit out of me.

    Now, to answer your question, *LOL sorry I love telling stories on this site for some reason*, I don't think it's easy for either gender when it comes to dating. I think my biggest problems were I was always afraid of being myself and deep down inside I just wanted someone I loved and someone who loved me back.

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  • ""yeah, i do get approached.. but not by the guys i want..""

    That's why :p

    Guys don't get approached... or at least while I do know someone who is regularly approached, they typically aren't.

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  • You could just throw yourself vag first at some guys in a bar and you'll get some.

    Your problem is that the guys you meet aren't up to your *standards*. Some guys can't get any girls, period.

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  • Women have an abundance of guys to choose from.
    Men have a scarcity of women to choose from.

    That's why you have it easier.

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    • Well how is it easier when 90% of the guys dont want to date, but only wants to fuck? How does that make it easier to date?

      Women in the real world dont have an abundance of guys to pick from...

  • "yeah, i do get approached.. but not by the guys i want.."

    Clear proof that girls DO have it easier, us guys don't get approached at all!

    Sure, some girls have it hard. But that same girl would have it even harder if she were a guy.

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  • you lost me at the last paragraph. elaborate?

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    • basically what i was trying to make the guys realise is that even though some of us get approached a lot of those guys are fuckboys or just in general guys who doesn't do anything for us (emtionally, mentally or physically). With another words, yes we get approached, but its not fun since we dont want those guys.

      So i was trying to "make" guys imagine a scenario where all the girl that approach them are obese unattractive women. so that they better could put themself in some girls shoes.. dont know if this made it any better lol

    • ooooh okay now I get what you meant lol.

      yeah I always looked at it like that.

  • At least you get approached by anyone at all. I'm sorry you have the ability to be picky, that must be so horrible.

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  • "finding a cool guy to date is very hard actually"
    You are picky! Lower your standards.

    And in general girls get rejected less when approaching guys the same can't be said for guys.

    Overall girls have it easier!

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    • trust me.. im not picky! my standars and expectations have droped a lot over the 2-3 years of dating.. Right now i just want and cute, ambitious, funny guy who likes to stay in shape.. Im not looking for a certain hight, nor a certain amout of muscles (just not stick thin).. He doesn't need to have a certain eyecolor, hair color or job or edcuation etc.

      As long as he isn't a guy who lives at home and doesn't work, doesn't study, only eats junk food, is very unattractive and/or smokes, im probarly going to date him..

      And i can agree that in general girls have it easier.. but unless a girls isn't really attractive and interesting dating is hard and we dont really get approached that a lot either

    • I agree that guys have become shy and don't do much approaching now days.
      But if a girl is average looking trust me she would find it much easier to find a date than an average looking guy

  • I've had this discussion recently with a friend and I admit I was among the guys who thought girls have it easy. But seeing how her dating life is I have to agree with you. Girls don't really have it easy, more so because you are careful about who you date. If dating was meant only to sleep with the person, I don't think girls would have a problem, but I do understand that finding guys who are actually serious about looking at dates to have a relationship of any kind, its not easy.

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    • im glad to see that some guys understand! thanks for understanding and seeing it for what it is!

    • I was surprised myself. But it depends on what one is looking for and what is there to offer. Anyway, I now believe irrespective of gender, dating is not easy.

  • If we knew what you look like we could easily answer your question. You won't get approached by cool good looking guys if you're not cool & good looking. What good qualities do you have? You probably don't have many good qualities if good quality guys aren't approaching you and asking you out

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  • Dont chu understand that most guys who apporach usually approach for smex? If u want a better chance, u gotta approach them urself by obersving the persons behavior and u can kinda get the vibe of who or what that person is really about.

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  • Guys are expected to be the ones to put themselves out there and we are the ones who are expected to pay for it.

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  • Cause ya kinda do.

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  • Not super easy, but it's true you have it easier.

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  • Putting aside all the bullshit the ladies here are saying, 95% of them would crumble in an emotionally messed up heap on the floor if they had to approach guys and experience all the rejection we do.

    Women have it much easier; most are just not intellectually honest enough to admit it.

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  • Never said they have it easy.

    But they sure as hell have it significantly easier than men.

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  • They never really tried to put themselves in a girls shoes is why.

    Girls though, don't appreciate how difficult it is for not so attractive guys. Probably because less attractive guys are just invisible to them.

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  • Guys and girls have it equally hard getting into a relationship. Girls have an easier time though getting a first date or casual sex.

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  • It's easy for girls to get sex, in comparison with men.

    It's relatively easy for women age 18-24 to date in comparison with men, do to supply/demand imbalances. It's relatively easier for men age 25 and up to date, though the magnitude is smaller.

    These are averages though. A great looking outgoing 20 year old guy has it much easier than an overweight, shy girl of that age, and a slim, pretty 30 year old woman has it a lot easier than an unemployed out of shape and timid 30 year old guy.

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What Girls Said 5

  • They think that just because men are still expected to approach women (which they do), women have it easier. Which is true, to an extent, but girls can only hugely benefit from it if they literally don't care whom to date. I guess they're just tired of always doing all the work, so they get a bit bitter. In reality, they actually have it easier, because they can pick any girl and approach her. It's not guaranteed that she will say yes of course, but at least guys are not limited to choosing from people who approach them, as girls are. That's why ladies should start approaching guys you like first, that's what I do.

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    • Thats what I told my friend too! Don't be so old fashioned!!!

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    • Oh oops, never mind then.

    • The thing is you're ignoring two things.

      1) men "don't care whom to date." that's a slight exaggeration, but basically true. You're saying in the same breath that women get more chances, BUT it doesn't matter because they have higher standards. That's ridiculously self-serving. It's like a millionaire saying, "Well, the poor just don't understand how expensive good butlers are. That's why we need lower taxes."

      The other thing is yes, men can approach any woman (just as a woman can approach any man) but they face REJECTION, something very few people enjoy. On the other hand, every man who approaches a woman, has, by approaching her, made it clear he's not going to reject her.

  • They're so consumed in their self-pity that they are completely unrealistic about what specific struggles individuals, who happen to have a vagina, may encounter in the dating world. It's actually quite self-absorbed.

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  • simple, there not girls... what would they know of the struggles of begin an unattractive girl!

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  • Girls can have it easy. At least 4 fucking.

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    • Im not taliking about casual sex, im talking about actual dating

    • Yeah. The dating scenev can be awful sometimes

  • Just remember: Having more people hitting on you is not the same as having more temptation. The fact that more people are up in somebody's face doesn't mean that they're having an easier time than everyone else. Don't get hung up on "who has more options" or "who has it easier"; focus on yourself and your relationship.

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    • In terms of numbers, however… it actually probably evens out. Guys just tend to not notice because they're focusing on a small number of women and not noticing others who very well might be up for hooking up with them. Remember those women guys didn't notice because you didn't find them attractive? There'll be plenty who are interested in you if you'd just stopped to give them the time of day...

    • And honestly? Guys tend to miss those signs either because they're not looking, or because they're misinterpreting them. It's a fucked up situation that makes it hard for anyone to tell who's flirting with whom. Womp womp.:-(

    • social narrative says that men are supposed to be the sexual aggressors while women are supposed to be submissive and receptive. The more macho or hyper-masculine the culture, the more rigid the gender roles. As a result, there's a wide swath of men who are profoundly uncomfortable when gender roles are reversed. Often they vastly overestimate a woman's interest and turn her friendliness into an invitation for aggression—"Hi, you seem nice," becomes "Take me now in a manly fashion"—and there's really no way for a woman to tell how a guy's going to react before she's had a chance to get to know him. So most women tend to err to the side of caution and flirt more subtly at first.

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