Guys, do you respect girls who ask you out first?

Before you say "yes," consider this: most men like to PURSUE a woman (at least if he wants to be married someday). Women who pursue men tend to not get much respect, not be as classy of a person. Something about winning a woman's heart and respect is a great feeling for a man (goes both ways). Now, some of you like easy because it means less effort, less work, and lots of attention/affection until you tire of her and move on to the next exciting thing (be honest), your mind is not on anything serious at all, just the eye candy/sex. So if a woman makes the first move (or continues to "chase" you, how do you react? What goes through your mind? Speaking for myself, if a man does not have the courage to approach or make the first move, I lose interest but I might try to encourage him in subtle ways. I respect men (not boys) and give points for effort. I can strike up a convo, maybe even flirt a little bit but I won't be asking him out first if I'm interested. I have my self respect to NOT chase men. Never have, never will. I'm a fairly attractive girl (so I've been told) and have had only 3 boyfriends my entire adult life (including my ex husband). I'd rather be ridiculed for that than to have 30 boyfriends. By the way, I mean no offense to anyone by anything I say ok? Just my perspective on things. Guys, your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • For this question and most things having to do with romantic relationships, it depends on the man that you are pursuing. If a man is the perfect embodiment of an alpha male and enjoys the chase and power that comes with going after a women and perfectly executing his flirting technique then he probably won't appreciate the wind being taken out of his sails by a women who just does it for him. Not every man is this way anymore. If I had to take a guess, I would say that now more then ever, men are able to escape their fears without having to get over them. This causes an increase in the amount of men afraid to take charge in their love life to earn the love of a female through trial and error. A generation of men afraid to fail with women. I admit that I am one of those men. I think that this forces a lot of women to feel like they should ask the guy out because we men aren't asking them out. The only problem is that when the roles are reversed and the girl asks the guy out then I feel like a lot of the time the guy gets confused because that is not how we have been taught that things work. Although there is a lot of fighting about changing many traditional gender roles (which I won't get into here) I think that most straight women seem to want the traditional masculine and feminine roles to stay the same in romantic relationships because it is what they are naturally attracted to. I think that deep down inside most men want the roles to stay the same as well because we are attracted to women who show the traditional feminine attributes. However, until our society learns how to mix our incredible technological abilities with a healthy mix of face to face (in person) interaction through out our lives I feel like people (especially men) will be confused about how to play their masculine confident role. I think there are a bunch of social factors that are adding to this confusion from the stand point of men. I personally feel like I have been taught my whole life that being a traditional masculine male is bad. I think that a lot of guys would agree with that. Rant over... hahaha I feel like investigating this more now...

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What Guys Said 6

  • Why are you posting a question and telling us men what we prefer to do?

    That might be high school rules, or Twilight or something.

    That's not reality. If a man is attracted to a woman, he will like her more if she displays interest in return and is willing to put effort in. That also involves having the guts to say "hey, lunch?" or such.

    We live in an age of "equality" yet women still say "I have my self respect to NOT chase men. Never have, never will."

    Women like you lose out to women who are actually willing to put work in.

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    • I'm not afraid to put in effort or work. Actually, I do once I know that the effort is reciprocated and appreciated. The question is the FIRST move to someone that you don't know very well at all. And speak for yourself, but most of my guy friends say that they enjoy the chase... the pursuit of a woman, have more respect for her if she isn't easy. If you like easy, then that's you. Some guys prefer that. Reality is that there is such a thing called CLASSY that exists. You should try it sometime.

  • In the words of Dr. Barbara De Angelis "Men like women who like sex." Men may like to pursue, but, believe me, they like being pursued just as much.

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  • Yes, I actually have more respect for girls who ask me out first than those who sit around and wait for guys to approach them.

    If a woman was blunt and straight forward with me then why would I turn her down unless I thought she wasn't attractive.

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  • First come first serve that's the way I see it.

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  • Yes easily a lot better

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  • Asking a guy out first, does not imply anything about respect or disrespect. It's neutral. What happens after, the date, you'll know if the person is respectful or not. So my answer is... if she is nice in asking me out then yes I guess.

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