I ruined my life?

At the age of 17 i was all fine, going to school but i kept hanging out with my older sister who is such a bad influence, during that time i just got out of a rough medical treatment so i was a perfect example of a hot mess, i needed good influence. She kept controlling and bothering me with her depression that eventually i got depressed, i flunked out of school for 3 years and those 3 years were VITAL, during that time i got into debt just like her, and she is still a hot mess till this day, she is lazy, selfish, lives at home at 29, childish and never dated, or lived life, pretty much, she just sits all day in her room doing nothing. I am angry at her because she ruined my life, she is SUCH a bad influence, its because of her i flunked socially, school , money wise, before that i was always so organized. Can someone ruin your life? it didn't hit me untill i was 20 that she was just pure crazy and evil. I never had a mother and so i looked up to her, my younger sister was pretty smart to avoid her. However i was in a vulnerable position, she misused my hurt to control me. I still live with her and our mom by the way, and yeah i know i need to get out as soon as possible, im 23 now but i have a hard time making a life for myself now. im in school, work etc


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You haven't ruined your life. You've made some mistakes and learned a few things that can be invaluable for the remainder of your life. You know where you stand and you are moving forward. I'd say that while you have some pain you are actually very mentally present and you are in a spot from where you can build.

    One piece of advice though, let go of your anger for your sister. It will help you move your life along. I don't believe that evil just naturally exists in people. She does what she does because she is messed up. Probably worse than you were and she too has had her moments of vulnerability. One day, you may be able to help her if setting an example doesn't do it.

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What Guys Said 4

  • well your sisters behavior seems to reflect common behaviors of the clinically depressed.

    I believe you are in control of your life. people can influence you but the ultimate decisions of your life are your own... but what's past is past. there's always time to turn things around. you may be in a figurative hole but at 23 there is time to fix things

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  • To be honest, you still have a lot of life to go. You're still quite young yet. If you can talk to people and be nice to them and hang out with them, then you're off to a great start. This can happen at school or work. Yes, your sister didn't help things by the way she set an example (bad example, at that). But ultimately, you need to make your own decisions.

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  • No no. This is all just a fake reasons that comes in your mind. Just fix your mind that she is not the reason. Be clear with your thoughts. Dont think like this. It will make worse. You are just 23. Dont skip any work, Make yourself busy always

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  • First and foremost, Paragraphs!

    Secondly, you were both in a bad situation but I don't think it's fair to blame anyone at this point. Because I'm assuming you had the option not to flunk school, focus on your studies etc.
    Yes you may have been "encouraged" to do badly but you also have to accept that you have also caused your life to become like this also. Accept that then move on.

    You're 23 and its not too late to start school again, once you build a solid foundation you can build up on that. Get a job etc.
    Try to motivate yourself to do as best as you can! Life is a game and you need to win it!

    Hope this helps!

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