Am I too young for a boyfriend?

I'm 14 years old, a freshman in high school. I have a boyfriend, but am I too young for one? I guess it's a matter of opinion, but I wanted to hear from more people than just my overprotective friends and family.

Updates:
He's 14 also, and its actually long distance. We live about 45 min away from each other. We've been together for about 3 months now, the most we've done is hugging and kissing, holding hands, etc. I would never even begin to think of doing anything more than that at my age. But is even that too much at 14?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No just take it slow, limit your emotional investment for now. I know it sounds cold but you should just enjoy each other for each other now. 14 is way to early for sexual stuff, you will regret it. Use this to learn about yourself and life in general. You seem smart enough, just don't let passion blind you

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm. I had my first kiss at 16 and I am in my first relationship now (almost 19). I feel like I understand a lot more now as an adult. But if you feel like you're mature and you know how to go about things then go ahead! My friend started dating her boyfriend in 7th grade and they're still together as freshmans in college! So really it depends on you, your boyfriend and the relationship. Long distance can be a drag, especially since you're so young you can't drive... but good luck! Be careful, safe and smart :D There's nothing wrong with a bit of experience. And whatever happens, you'll learn from it so don't take it so hard. Hope this helps!

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    • It does, thank you! :)

    • I too had my first kiss at 16 and my first relationship at 18 and a bit.
      (but I had a bad ONS at 16) :-p

What Guys Said 30

  • No. It is not too young to have a boyfriend. But it is too young to be exclusive and to get into things that should wait till you are more mature. Take it slow.

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  • I think high school is a good time to start dating if people feel like it. Might as well get some experience right?

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  • My first girlfriend was 13

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  • Not at all, but I may see it different since by your age I was with my 4th girlfriend... you're 14, not 5, I think it's a normal age to have a relationship.

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  • Its not too young but do not rush things and do not be pressured into doing things you should wait to do when your older and more mature, there is a time for everything so just wait, no rush

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  • Not to young to have a boyfriend, but too young to indulge in any intimate activities, let your body grow! Focus on height and health. Wait till 16 to start anything! You can have a boy as a special friend, but calling him boyfriend means you have crossed the dating stage, now you are in a successful beginning of a relationship, and you may get married soon.

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  • No, not too young for a boyfriend, but too young for a serious relationship. It won't matter anyway, because teens as young as you don't typically stay together more than a school year anyway.

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  • I would say no, I mean I had my first girlfriend at 6 but that doesn't mean I was committed or did anything sexual. You can call them your boyfriend but you probably just do friend stuff anyway, like the sexual stuff you should be very slow about getting into it for you at that age. At least thats my opinion, you can do whatever you want though.

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  • If you have to ask it, you're to young indeed. Keep it at being friends. No reason to hurry.

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  • i think so. right now, your priority should be doing well in school and staying out of trouble. this may also help you decide: www.jw.org/.../#

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  • No.. but he shud be of same age age as you and shouldn't be manipulative to get what he wants such as sexual pleasures only.

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  • Not to sound like a parent because I'm sure you get enough input from them, but you need to experiment. there's a 99% chance you're not going to end up with this kid for life. Be protective of your body because 14 is a prime time for teenage boys to take advantage of girls. You are going to get hurt eventually and its better to do it young! Learn from every opportunity that you get and become a stronger person in the end!

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  • no as long you keep it simple like going out and keeping it above the neck and holding hands but no further. you should get your education and respect your parents first. you sure dont want to make that mistake of getting pregnant or catching something you can't wash off like a STD. also you don't need to get that reputation of being a slut either. use that head the good lord gave you and you will make the right choices

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  • Start dating when you are prepared to talk to your doc about pregnancy! Oh yeah and you should definitely introduce your date to your father right away! He has been waiting to give a young man like that the death grip handshake and evil eye!

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  • No idea, but why would you want one at 14?

    Should still be enjoying childhood at that age, be plenty of time to be miserable later.

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    • If you are miserable with your SO, you're doing it wrong.

      Can a boyfriend not be a part of enjoying chlldhood? I would argue that a childhood sweetheart is very much a normal part of enjoying childhood.

  • Nope, I don't think there is a incorrect age for a boyfriend.
    Just understand that young relationships often don't last.

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  • It's not too young. Just don't let the guy carried away... I am cringing while remembering what I did when I was 14

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  • Yeah, I think 14 is too young, at LEAST wait till you're 16, preferably 18.

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  • Naahhh its fine! Next year you can marry him. The year after you'll have your first child.

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  • A little bit, yes. Wait a few more years.

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  • No your not too young as long as you dont try to act 25 and make sex tapes

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    • lol ill make sure i steer clear of that XD

    • Lucky you to have met someone at 14 that you can have as your boyfriend 😌
      Enjoy the experience 😎 good luck

    • thanks :)

  • As long as you know that relationships at this age shouldn't be taken too too seriously.

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  • Likely not. Just nothing sexual in the least until you're both 18+.

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  • No you are not, it's perfectly normal. I got pregnant twice at the age of 14.

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  • no, you are never too young for love. so there is nothing wrong with it

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  • It's fine to have a boyfriend at 14, just don't get too physical.

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  • I think 14 isn't too young. In my opinion, it's probably the youngest age that isn't too young

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  • Age doesn't matter, milk before bed does matter

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  • You are too young for it.

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  • No I think it's fine. Just don't do anything other than hugging or kissing and control those hormones and you'll be fine 😊

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What Girls Said 19

  • Yes. Despite the billion dollar industry of romance you are exposed to from a young age with Disney, Hallmark movies, books, commercials and songs on the radio, relationships can grip you tight from your core then completely impair you. The simple truth is that many people can't love. They don't know how. They may have never been properly taught or the love they were shown is full of wrong turns. They don't know how to take care of someone's heart so when you eagerly give it to them with hope and loyalty, you'll inevitably get hurt. Depending on the extent of this heartache, it may impact you and effect the way you function romantically into your 20's. That's why various people, myself included, believe 14 is way too young to have a boyfriend. Plus your brain is physically still developing and you are raging with hormones. You would have more of an advantage if you waited, observed, and walked into dating highly aware, wise, and with firm self-love and self-care. That way you'll be less likely to accept nonsense. It would be better to just enjoy the simplicity of your youth without risking it being disrupted.

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    • I couldn't agree with you more!. I discovered in development psychology that the brain doesn't fully develop until the age of 23. That's almost 10 years from now. but that aside, you can't trust your heart to a immature 14 year old.

    • @Poppykate Thanks :) It's crazy, right? I thought it was 25 that brain development was fully finished? Not sure. It's crazy to think that even though you're a legal adult, your brain still isn't finished developing!

  • As someone who tried to date when she was 14... just no.

    Like... where are you going to go? With who's money are you going to pay for what you do? As my mother put it, "I might as well be dating Pete since I pay for all your "dates."" And she was right if you think about it.

    Like... you can't drive. You can't work. You can't get into good movies. You have no money for yourself... there's really just no logic to it other than to say you have a boyfriend.

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  • Whatever floats your goat, just don't expect it to last, cause relationships at such young age tend to end rather quickly.

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  • As most people are saying, he's your semi-romantic best friend until you're at least 16, and then he's more your boyfriend. Save the sex for after 18 though, it's really just the smart thing to do. No matter how careful you are, you don't want chance getting pregnant at 16, or worse, 14. I still haven't had my first boyfriend, and I'm turning 18 in less than a week. You don't have to hurry that much.

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    • if you don't have a husband at 18.. its a big deal?

    • @KaranSharma55 I haven't had a boyfriend, I want referring to a husband. I'm just saying high school relationships are not the wisest of options. I never had a boyfriend in high school, I was basically made fun of for being a virgin, and now, I AM flat out teased for being a virgin. I just told her not to rush stuff, I didn't say, get married at 18. That's usually not a good idea.

  • Really it's up to you, I had my first boyfriend when I was 17 because I was busy a lot before and never payed much attention to boys lol. I do not see anything wrong with it. Dating at that age is really non committed in a way because obviously your not dating to see who you want to marry ha so I guess you could just see what kind of things you like in guys. I would not recommend dating just so you can say you've dated, date someone who you really enjoy their company. Good luck

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  • You're not too young. It's better to get the practice now than later when the stakes are higher. Just don't date a guy that's way older than you.

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    • Practice on what?
      I think it s better if she dates later. Let her now work on herself more and get more established and confident. Then when she get s into a relationship she s more mature and has a lot more to offer.

    • @archiz I stand by my opinion. I wish I would have started dating earlier. I wasn't allowed to date until I was almost 18, and I had hard time not making rookie mistakes.

      Waiting sounds good in theory, but you do not want to go out to the dating world when you're older with no experience at keeping your heart and emotions in check, knowing what you actually want and don't want, and your personal values. I'm not saying go out and have sex at 13. You can casually date at 13 (school dances, movie dates, group out) without having it lead to something totally serious.

      But you want to get your naiveness and vulnerability out the way when you're younger when the guys are just thinking of dating as casual hang outs, rather than when you're older and dating could mean anything from sex to marriage.

      Plus, if you do make any mistakes, you want it to be while you're still under your parents roof. At least at this time, you have your parents across the hall ready to help you out.

    • Good points!
      Well said👏👏

  • Yes, I believe so. Honestly, I wish I had waited to start dating. It's a burden. Just have fun with friends. Be a kid. Enjoy it while it lasts because it will be gone before you know it.

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  • I don't think so... just don't get carried away!

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  • You like him he likes you and you want to hang out together, it s fine but I won t call it bf/gf since you re both too young to do the sexual stuff and still fully dependent on your parents.
    Plus you re still to young to develop anything serious, relationship wise.

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  • it depends on what you guys do together. you can be younger and have a boyfriend. but you can be too young to do certain things with eachother. like sex. and when your family says you are too young its because they dont trust you and the boy to not be having sex.

    i got my first boyfriend when i was 15. but there was a rule that we couldnt shut his door to his room. it had to stay open

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    • yeah that rule applies to us too. Not that it matters, since we would never do anything like that anyway :)

  • A lot of girls have one in High School. But honestly I am not sure you can really call dating in HS an actual relationship because usually guys arnt mature that well yet. I didt have a boyfriend in High School although some guys asked me out. But I wasn't ready for that yet. Don't feel pressured to have one just because other girls have one. You have you own reasons why or why not

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  • Well honey, it's just a matter of how you handle your relationship :) Just try to have fun but don't set it as your top priority

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  • I guess it really just depends on what your intentions are. And like you type of relationship. At this age, nothing should be sexual. You guys should just get to know eachother :) it's honestly fun, and you guys will be best friends for like ever.

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  • Not too young, just don't rush things and don't lose focus on your studies.

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  • Do your homework

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  • As long as your comfortable and you don't go so fast to where it makes you uncomfortable then your fine Hun

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  • I'm 13 and I have one and I started dating at 7 so you're not too young my friend😊

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  • If it affects the way you study and act to love ones then yeah

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  • I had my first boyfriend in 4th grade and got raped by his father so I have issues (I won't get into this), it depends on who you are, how serious it is, and who you are dating.

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    • I'm really sorry that happened to you. :(

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