How should a guy approach a girl who is out of his league?

I know some hate the idea of leagues but just imagine a girl who is attractive to most men but a guy who isn't as attractive to as many women. Just think of the average guy and a model or a very successful attractive woman.

Should I take it slowly, should I try a pick up line or would she be tired of them or do I even try?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First, be in her league! Think about your best qualities... Funny? Nice? Respectful? Ambitious? Genuine? Stylish? Figure out your best assets and figure out WHY you are a great catch... After that (this is the hard part) be confident, not just with her but every woman and every person in your life! Just know you're valuable and exude that, don't treat her like she's out of your league. just talk to her like you are as valuable as you think she is. let yourself know that if a certain person doesn't see your value, that's their mistake because they just could recognize your best qualities!!

    It's awesome having a crush, but realize that she's just another person, no better or no worse than any other girl!! Treat her well, treat her like you expect her to treat you and if she doesn't then SHE's not good enough for YOU!

    Looks alone do not make a good catch, if she's a smart and not shallow girl she'll give a guy a chance if she's attracted to any of his qualities!! That being said, attraction is key ( not just physical) and she may not click with you but that's cool too, she's just a normal girl after all!!

    Confidence is amazing!

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    • Great answer! Thanks. :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Nobody is out of anybody's league. the heart wants what the heart wants. Think about the man who played Superman Christopher Reed. and his non actress wife, when they hooked up he was a top of the world and everybody knew him and looked up to him. Was she out of his league? then an terrible accident occurred that paryolized him was he all the sudden out of her league?
    This makes just about as much sense as any league ranking scenario.

    WE ARE ALL HUMAN
    there is nothing to be afraid of another person ever it just doesn't make sense. we all eat poop and die there is not much difference from one to another.

    as soon as you get this mindset it will diminish any fears.

    there is not secret code to talking to women no pick up lines , just easy flowing conversation, be yourself and if you have any bit of a personality then just be yourself. it is this simple kids.

    do you fear talking to the grocery clerk at checkout? nope you don't , why? because you don't have a vested interest in being rejected or not.
    this is how we must approach any friendly conversation , no expectations and no disappointment if it doesn't click. so there is no room to invite fear in any conversation.
    this is so simple do not ever bring a measuring stick to compare or rate a personality that is un-measurable.

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    • I agree, I was thinking to myself, the only way a woman will agree to liking you, is if she is wanting to accept you at that moment, there's no secret way, just express your interest, those who approach in person have a better chance than for those who do it online where they are easily dismissed and it feels better in person. .. If there's instant chemistry and you aren't insecure, you practically have her, if she's looking for a relationship

    • i agree with you standDown
      welcome back :)

    • @kangy Hi Hi little hop-a-roo great to be back ;),

What Girls Said 35

  • Most guys I liked treated me as if I was out of their league, and they were to insecure to move to the next level in fear I wasn't serious, but I genuinely liked whom I thought we could be. of course becoming friends with her friends could boost your chance, my friends suggested I give him a chance. I also prefer guys who don't get too much attention, because I don't like cockiness and other girls interfering. .. :)

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  • You may not have the looks but a lot of girls are just looking for a decent-looking guy with a great personality, so you could use that to your advantage. I would definitely take it slowly; show her consistency and constant attention. I don't know if you should try a pick-up line because that might not work on some girls. Like I said, just be really sweet and genuine and hopefully she'll respond.

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    • Thanks; good answer. :)

    • don't give her consistent attention girls are more attracted to guys feelings are unclear but be genuine though

    • @104755555 Yes they are, that is why girls always love a guy who is mysterious

  • How should a guy approach a girl who is out of his league?
    In my opinion by being confident as I find hetero males have the immense advantage ofbwig far less judged for their looks and far more likely to get a partner more attractive than himself. As a male it is in my opinion far more likely for you to get a partner you are initially physically attracted to.

    In my experience leagues only exist to rate gals when it comes to pursuing gals suddenly leagues are non-existent. Plus I find gals are far more forgiving than males on looks. While you may not pursue a gal far less attractive than you it is quite common in my observations for gals to consider guys (far less) attractive than themselves.

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  • Just be confident and talk to her.

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  • With confidence and respectfully. I hate that women have made men feel like they are "out of his league". What a cocky load of crap from women! Be yourself, be funny, be honest, be respectful. Those are the things that are attractive to me, but I'm just one woman. Go for it and good luck!

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    • you know its not just women. a lot guys say to each other all the time she's well out of your league. then that is in a guys head, even if they get along with the girl.

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    • It's more so a scale based on looks so it doesn't matter much after a level of wisdom

    • LOL. What crap is this?

  • I would at least try. Maybe just observe her for a while to see what she likes or what you have in common. That way, you have something to talk about when u see her

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  • Just approach but please stay away from pick up lines they're just a big no no!
    Also make sure you can handle herrejection just in case..

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  • never use a pickup line, I don't know who thought of that originally. Got for who you want. I don't find myself attractive and only guys who aren't particularly attractive find me attractive that I know of so you wouldn't see me going for a guy I find attractive but yeah.

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  • Just say "Hey, how r u? Did you want to grab a coffee sometime?". Keep it simple sexy!

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  • Looks have never been my number one priority when it comes to guys. What matters to me the most is his personality and the way he treats others. Looks are great, but what good are they if the person behind those looks has a shitty personality? Be confident with yourself and just go for it.

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    • Thank you Taylor Swift. :P

    • Lol, you're welcome 😂
      Now you go out there and get that girl!

  • Go for it! Anything is possible!

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  • Ever seen hitch? Do not try cheesy pick up lines, she gets enough of those. Be original, without being boring. Do something she can't refuse and will never forget. But don't take it slow, most women love guys who take charge. But I repeat, do not use a cheesy pickup line.

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    • Great advice; thanks. :)

      What do you men by "can't refuse and will never forget"?

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    • Also, once you get her, make sure you do not stop doing what you did to get her. If she doesn't reject you after whatever you plan to do, keep wowing her. That's obviously what she needs. Especially if she's out of your league. I don't mean to be a Debbie downer but if you start acting like all the cute guys that are jerks, she'll think to herself "what's the point, he's no different" so do not stop doing what you did to win her over. :) good luck and I sincerely hope she digs your awesomeness:)

    • Thanks. :)

  • A pick up line only ever if delivered with confidence. Which you probably won't have because you're asking here so already feeling nervous ;-)
    If you're confident she will like you. Or if you are just yourself there is a chance she might like you because you're 'so cute'

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    • haha so smart !! but what if the guy is good looking but shy as shit

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    • @sizedoesnotmatter lol let me know how it goes!! Wishing u luck!! But I'm sure you won't need it, you seem like a nice guy👍🏼
      Whe. Are you seeing her next?

    • YEAP tomorow actually :D i will show her how the real alpha male do HEHE

  • With confidence. Pretend 'leagues' don't exist. Figure out what she likes and the things you have in common.

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  • No pick up lines!
    Just go for it. Be smart, witty and funny.

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  • Just inviter her places but just go as friends in friendly situations. Give her small complements like you think her hair looks good on her like that and you think that shade of eye shaddow suits her.

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  • i doubt you'd have the balls to if you're already putting yourself down before even approaching her...

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    • Good point.

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    • @pavlove very good point!

  • just strike up a simple conversation.

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  • just approach!

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  • like she's not out of his league.

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  • impress her with your personality. just be nice and considerate. you will definitely stand out.

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  • By raising your self esteem dude you need higher self esteem

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    • That's not happening anytime soon but you're right.

    • Well you can practice asking her out then ask her out

    • that's a start baby steps man you need to take baby steps in getting better self esteem

  • No. Don't do a pick up line. Be yourself. Starting with a compliment helps. It shows more then a friendly interest and puts her in a more open minded mood.

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  • Just approach her. No one is out of anyone's league we are all fucking human

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  • Just talk to her like you would anyone else. And if she seems Interested, tell her you'd like to take her out sometime and get her number. Do people even still use pick up lines? Don't ever do that. If all else fails , walk over to her and say "You're really beautiful and I don't know what to do about it" 😂 I got that from buzzfeed. Seems like a pick up line but it's not. If she laughs... You're in there boy!

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  • Just be yourself I know it's cliche but if she doesn't like you for you then don't bother with her

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  • Dont approach. It is that easy. I dont even look at guys who are unattractive.

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    • Wow you are incredibly rude.

    • Well you guys always talk about girls' boobs and ass and you say she is ugly then I can say that too no offensive I dont care. @Whizzy83 You r a man who*e. @Albinoninja66

    • Excuse me, not all men are alike you just haven't meet one you can truly appreciate. You're still young and have a lot of life experience to go though, just try not to express yourself where people may have a negative view of you. I bet you're beautiful but can you be from the inside as well, I know you can Aneliciouuss.

  • Confidence, good heart, sense of humor. Looks fade... the things of value are what's important.

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  • Don't take it slow just go for it

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  • just give up

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What Guys Said 47

  • By not seeing her as someone who's out of his league.
    Your approach doesn't have to differ than what you'd say to any other girl you like.

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  • The exact same way you would approach any other girl. I never understood leagues until I met my now Girlfriend and when I saw her... to say I was speechless and at a loss for words would be the biggest understatement in the history of the human race... and till today I still am at a loss for words when I see her but I remember out of everyone, she choose me, the me I am!! Mate, honestly, just be yourself, don't pretend and treat her as you would anyone else, believe me! and hey, don't be afraid to make mistakes around her, they happen and if anything she'll laugh at them.. and laughing is good haha :")

    Good luck, Mate :) and remember, if she's single right now, she's single for a reason, you won't ever know if your that reason unless you pluck up the courage to go find out, so go find out yeah

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  • Go for it, looks aren't everything make sure you can show her that you're capable of being better than any of the pretty boys she's dealt with before, you've got nothing to lose, even if you fail at least you had the guts to pursue what you wanted, and i'm sure your confidence will go up as a result of it.

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  • First thing is first is stop putting down your confidence by saying she is out of your league!!!

    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...3c17f53e8f.jpg

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  • A basic "Hi'' will work, whatever when you believe, speaking of what you truly feel, you won't feel creep out, embarrassed because that's truly how you feel at the moment. For example, if you think she's beautiful, just give her a compliment with a proud tonality so that she's feeling good. When you say it with a nervous, trembling voice, it could back fire.

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  • The same way you approach any other girl. Strike up a conversation about shit in your surroundings and take it from there. Leave the pick up lines in bad movies.

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  • Ask yourself this - what do you gain by not trying it? And put that against what you gain by trying it. The pros are that you could potentially land a hit with a really attractive woman. The cons... well the worst thing to happen might be her rejecting you harshly but those are just words and they will fade away in time.

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  • You will have less when it comes to looks to offer compared to her, but since girls are less visible or so they claim you will have to bring something else to the table.
    Try be funny and confident well dressed and carry a good convo.
    Try and impress as much as possible and go for her.

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  • Whether you say to yourself that she's out of your league or not you're always right.

    Don't talk yourself down. Believe it or not you may posses traits that she values a lot but other guys don't have.

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    • Thanks. :)

      I need to collect some of these answers and put them in some kind of "Positive thoughts" Word documents to psyche myself up. XD

  • Just start talking to her and if her body language is right, ask her out.

    Also, never say or feel like a girl is out of your league. That is defeatist in itself. What does matter is if she's got some things in common and you guys click. It doesn't matter how attractive she is, if you got nothing in common and the conversation feels forced.

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  • Personally, i've never seen the benefit of approaching a woman "well". I mean, if she doesn't like you for yourself, then you'll have problems keeping the relationship anyway. Of course, i'm not advising to stand in front of her in your pajamas and ask her if she wants some popcorn, but still executing a "strategy" is way too tiring to maintain the relationship.

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  • Be confident and just think to yourself of how you would ask a friend to go on a date or something. "Hi excuse me I saw you and I wanted to introduce myself, my names is _____" (she answers) "Bla bla bla whatever you want to say next" and then end with "Wanna go out for (coffee, dinner, lunch, whatever)" (she answers) "Okay let me get your number" I don't know just an example.

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  • The best way is to keep in mind that leagues don't mean anything.

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  • a womens beauty is a mans wealth.

    women dont care about looks as much as finances as they get older.

    so, while these jocks fuck these bimbo cheerleaders, you study hard and find yourself and make a life... then these bitches will come to you later on.

    remember, women are about finding a man with resources, dont let them lie to you that isn't their main objective.

    poor and rich rarely work in reall life

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  • By first realizing that no girl is out of his league. If you start with the premise that someone is better than you, you will always have fear and doubts.

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    • Exactly, what I've come to find is that while appearance does matter to an extent, it isn't everything and doesn't mean shit if you have nothing in common and don't click. I've found very attractive women with obscure interests like me. It's not a black and white thing.

  • Confidence is key, she might look great but that means nothing, she is a person just like you, you know how many out of your league womem there all?

    They are all over, so just try it, and know she can't kill you. Good luck

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  • hey bro you can't think she's out of your league thats half the battle you have to know with everything in you you deserve her if you don't think you deserve her she will since because you won't be confident enough and balsy enough to get her

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    • Good advice. Thanks. :)

    • yeah man you got it any guy can get any girl if work on getting the confidence within just be strong and confident and not needy be genuine listen to her but don't always be around her and thats all girls really need from a guy

  • Never behave like you like the person if she don't give you the I like you vide. Confidence is key. At the end of the day we all take the shit and on occasions get diarrhea so man up and treat her like one of the buddy's. Check out BigDawsTV on YouTube or simple pickups to up your game. 85% of communication is body language So see how she respond around you. Best of luck bro.

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  • Screw the whole league concept. Just approach her like any other woman.

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  • How? By not thinking that she is out of his league, that is how!!! As simple as that. You might be indeed the one she is looking for!

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  • First you gotta tell yourself she's out of your league. It's a limiting belief, and if you go in for the move with that belief in mind, you're setting yourself up for guaranteed failure.

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  • You have already lost by placing her on a giant pedestal, she isn't out of your league because YOU are the prize, always remember that.

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  • Approach her as if you would any other random girl and hope for the best.

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  • Don't put her on a pedestal, it'll just make you more nervous! Try to have the opposite mindset, and it'll increase the likelihood of you scoring. Good luck

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  • Treat girls all the same, no matter if you think they're out of your league.

    Just approach them like you'd approach any girl.

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  • Firstly you have to think that this (the day you are approaching her) is your last day on the planet then you have to make a decision in your brain that no matter what is the reply from her it won't effect me in future and just feel like you are robert downey jr. and say it to her.

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  • The last girl I talked to had a dad who was a billionaire that almost bought the Empire State Building...

    After that, no one is out of my league...

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  • Don't treat her special, and don't try too hard. She's dealt with this her entire life!

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  • ... by assuming she is NOT out of his league?

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  • Just ask them out. I know it's cliche, but the worst thing that could happen, is they could say no. Wasting your time strategizing will get you nowhere.

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