Do men need sex to fall in love?

I'm a virgin and I want to have sex but find the right guy first. And be in a committed relationship where we really love and care about each other.

I've heard that men need sex to feel loved, and without it, they will feel unfulfilled in a relationship. Is it true the right guy will wait until I'm ready, or am I just being completely native? I'm talking a few months really getting to know each other, getting progressively more intimate, not years or marriage.

And of course I'd like to enjoy everything between making out and piv with a guy I really care about.

Thoughts?

Updates:
Thanks everyone! I feel so much better! I really appreciate your honesty

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Interesting question, but it's tainted with vagueness, ambiguity, and imprecision with respect to language.

    Necessary Condition:

    In order to be the Pope, you must be a man.

    You are not a man, can you be the Pope? (No)

    You are a man, does that mean you are the Pope? (No)

    Sufficient Condition:

    If it rains, the roads will get wet.

    If rained, what must be true about the roads? (They're wet)

    The roads are wet, therefore, it must have rained, right? (No! It could have snowed. A bum could have taken a piss on the roads. Rain is just "one way" the roads can be wet, but not "the only way.")

    Next, "Sex."

    When you say, "sex," do you mean "the physical act of vaginal penetration by the penis?" I don't think "that" is a "necessary condition."

    upload.wikimedia.org/.../...archy_of_Needs.svg.png

    "Sex" is a basic physiological need. Obviously, if the more basic lower-level needs are left unsatisfied, then a person is not capable of fully desiring the fulfillment of the higher level needs. Yet, be careful to distinguish "sex" (first level need) from "sexual intimacy" (third level need).

    figur8.net/.../Maslow-hierarchy.jpg

    A better version of Maslow's pyramid illustrates this dynamic more clearly. All emotional needs are "selfish." We want our genitalia to be stimulated. We want to eat food. We want to sleep. We want to feel recognized for our accomplishments. We want to feel like "morally good" and "giving" people (i. e., self-actualization). Those are all "selfish" emotional needs.

    The fact that we kill an animal so that we may eat, or forgo going to a party so that we may sleep, or pay a stripper or escort cash to receive contact to our genitals, or give money to charity to feel like good people, or "care about our partner's needs," etc., are merely "incidental" to us satisfying our own selfish emotional needs.

    The goal of women is to have a man "care for her needs" because the man is trying to satisfy his fifth-level "self-actualization" emotional need to feel like a good altruistic and complete person.

    The fear of women is to have a man "care for her needs" merely as a means of allowing himself to satisfy his first-level physiological needs.

    So, what is the "strategy" to safeguard from this happening? Not have sex with the man, of course! Duh! That way, his first-level and third-level needs are satisfied, and he is emotionally capable of actually fully desiring the fulfillment of his fifth-level emotional needs (sarcasm emphasized).

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    • By "not" having sex with a guy, obviously the first-level physiological need is not being satisfied. That, in my opinion, is not such a big deal, because it's not like he can't just get off himself when he gets back home. The bigger culprit is the third-level emotional need for "sexual intimacy." This causes the man to feel "unwanted, not SEXUALLY accepted or desired" by the woman. This creates the typical dynamic where the girl is looking to get confirmation that the guy will love her and care for her based on his desire for self-actualization... meanwhile... the guy is too busy focused on trying to first fulfill his emotional need to confirm that she accepts him, desires him, and wants him SEXUALLY (i. e., third-level). So, they both end up unsatisfied. She feels like the only thing he's after is "just sex," and he feels like she wasn't really sexually interested in him.

    • Notwithstanding the foregoing, however, that is not to say that "the physical act of sex" is the solution to the problem. I mean, it's certainly "a" solution, but not "the only" solution. And for that reason, I don't think "the physical act of sex" is "necessary" for guys to experience what you call/label "love."

      I think what "is" necessary, however, is the satisfaction and fulfillment of his first-level, second-level, third-level, and fourth-level emotional needs. Some of those things are within a girl's control (e. g., making the guy feel like the girl genuinely SEXUALLY wants him, desires him, accepts him, "needs" him, etc.). Other things are "outside" of a girl's control (e. g., feeling like he's "important" or "respected" in general, as a member of society, in the world he exists in) (fourth-level).

What Guys Said 25

  • Everyone can fall in love without sex. The right guy will wait

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    • thanks i appreciate that.

  • Not necessarily NEEDED, but sex does increase the intimacy and connection that a man may have for a woman! :-D

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    • thank you! it totally makes sense!

  • ""I've heard that men need sex to feel loved, and without it, they will feel unfulfilled in a relationship.""

    This is true

    ""Is it true the right guy will wait until I'm ready""

    This is true if they are interested in committing to you, but only within a reasonable deadline (think a maximum of 6 months, some would argue it should be no more than 3)

    Just make sure you don't wait with EVERYTHING until then, making out something you can start doing early on.

    Anyways, sex is not required to fall in love, in my opinion admirable behavior and infatuating physical appearance are; but it's required to maintain infatuation and a desire to stay committed over time. Consider this, why would you want to stay with someone who is not interested in sexually connecting with you in a sexually exclusive relationship? Seems like a terrible deal, doesn't it.

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    • i totally agree and understand! thank you for your honesty!

  • Sexual intercourse isn't necessary, but physical intimacy is.

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    • i totally agree with that! thanks for your response

  • It is completely true the right guy for you will be willing to wait.
    Personally i had the deepest bonds imaginable and loved a girl with all my heart, and that is without ever having had more then a hug from her (Online friendship).

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  • I'd wager that very few men need the sex in order to feel the love. I know I don't.

    That said, it does feel different after sex. I mean, of course it does.

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    • totally makes sense thank you

  • Nobody needs sex to fall in love. Sex is a great way to share your love for each other when you are comfortable and ready to take that step in your relationship. Now, couples who have been having sex and stop can often feel less loved by their SO do to that lack of an intimate relationship. But to fall in love? Absolutely not.

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    • i completely understand and appreciate your input.

  • Wouldn't say we "need" sex to feel loved. I for one have never done it and would be willing to wait until marraige if she wanted to. I was raised in a "no sex before marraige" environment, but my personal belief is "no sex before love."

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    • thanks i appreciate your input

  • clear answer: no they donĀ“t. but not getting sex in the long run might let them fall out of love.
    thing with guys is. they are horny by default and allways in the mood as opposed to girls.
    sex is a great way to show your appreciation for each other sure there are other ways but most guys very much like that way.

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  • Some do, some don't. I know that sounds like a PC type answer, but it's the truth.

    I'm in the latter "camp", as I'm also a virgin waiting for my "unicorn."

    At my age (36), I understand the gal might not be a virgin, and I'm willing to accept that. The thing is, are you?

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  • It's true for me, sadly.

    Before anyone bashes me for it, it's not like I can do anything about it. I can't choose not to need sex to be intimate with someone. I might make the choice, had I the ability to do so.

    I've never had to wait in this way before (except for the first time), and personally, I don't know how I'd react.

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    • i totally understand. everyone is different and i'd respect your opinion. thanks for your input!

  • Billy connolly said it best. Men need to have sex to feel loved. Women need to feel loved to have sex. So the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you. That's why we do it in the dark. 'Of course I love you darling.' Nose grows like pinochios

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  • Sometimes, but it's not obligatory.

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  • I heard, once, from someone on G@G that guys love those they sexualize and girls sexualize those they love. I'm not confident on its accuracy, but it does raise questions about sexuality.

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  • One word answer:
    NO
    at least not for me 😶

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  • ehhh maybe when you are super young

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  • Nope, but it certainly can help.

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  • No. We could fall in love before we have sex.

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  • No but we hate getting teased and women acting liek it has monetary value.

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  • yes at least I think I do

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  • I'd wait until she's ready for it.

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  • People saying it doesn't matter have probably never dated someone with no sex drive.

    Most guys don't need sex instantly. They do need to feel sexually desired.

    A guy who is serious about you will wait a while. He will likely wait a LONG time for piv. I'd say the more 'high pressure' timeline is other things, since they both sexually satisfy and show your sexual interest in him. If you're doing other things, and it's serious, and you're a virgin, i'd guess guys in love would wait a year, maybe more.

    It's the gap till 'other things' thats the dangerous one where he could feel unwanted.

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  • No we don't. I'm totally fine with waiting. However when we do get it on, she better be prepared to take a rough pounding 😏

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  • No, but it sure as hell isn't as fun or motivating.

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    • totally understand and respect your opinion. thank you!

  • Yes I need you to give me sex so I can fall in love.

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    • shoot i didn't mean to down vote that. i totally understand where you are coming from and respect your opinion. thank you so much!

What Girls Said 5

  • certainly not. #generalisation347 whoever said that is clueless.

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  • I don't believe they do!

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    • thanks

    • Wrong women need sex in love too not just men.

    • @DeltsBrah I don't so maybe thats why guys don't get involve with me! To much of a challenge! hahah

  • i think it's not necessary but most require it

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  • If he NEEDS sex to "Love" you, he probably doesn't love you. So no

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  • Another point is that, men can also have sex with women whom they don't love, correct? And stay married to their wives, who do not have sex with them because of many different reasons (being too busy with kids, etc.)

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