Dating while having a friend with benefits?


I have a very nice friend with benefits. We are really good friends besides the sex. I told him I was getting some feelings for him, he told me he had felt the same a while ago, but that we should just remain as friends.

After that I decided to be more open to other guys and I went on dates into two guys: the nice guy and the bad guy (no sex or kissing with any of them). I'm feeling kind of guilty that I'm kind of juggling 3 guys at the same time? But then I don't really have a compromise with any of them, and I'm just getting to know the other 2 better while the first one warms up my feet?

Is this a bad thing?

Should I inform friend with benefits I'm getting to know more guys... or should I just tell him if it gets serious/ or physical with one of the other guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Since you are not in a relationship with any of these men then I wouldn't bother informing any of them but if you do start sleeping with one more than one man then it might be an idea to let your friends with benefit know and that applies if you enter a new relationship. Unless you enjoy going from man-to-man and enjoy committing acts of infidelity.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't need to inform anything to friends with benefits that all they are fwb! Do you want to catch feeling for him? When you are ready to settle with a guy, tell your friends with benefits bye bye!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Honestly It wouldn't and doesn't bother me who she's sleeping with, or has been. You've just met and started dating, so there's no need to become overly anxious or suspicious over what she's doing. It's not like you've made some kind of serious commitment to someone. Now if you decide to give it a go as a couple, thats another story completely.

    As for the friend's with benefits guy, he should understand that's exactly what you are doing. An friends with benefits should end any time one begins a relationship with someone else and you both need to be clear about your expectations.

    Either of you will certainly date someone at some point and you won't remain single forever. He should be the one who knows you're looking for a relationship.

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    • so i should be honest with the friend with benefits, right? things are really comfortable with him. he's not very actively looking for girls, but i think he wouldn't deny the chance if he had it. the thing is that i do have a lot of chances all the time even if i'm passive...

    • Well with any relationship you should be honest. Honesty and trust are they keys to successful ones, even a friend with benefits type. You don't have to tell him your actively dating, but if a relationship does in fact develop between you and someone else, then you should.

      Don't hold yourself back from being sexual with the other guys though. Sounds like a good chance it can happen.

  • well its wrong to the men you are dating. i was actually in a situation like this in my early twenties. the women picked me and i didn't find out till over a year later that she had been fucking a guy when we met. so i dumped her. haven't heard from her since.

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    • i see my friend with benefits like once a month... i see what u mean though...

    • like i wouldn't even want the other men to be in her life anymore.

  • Interesting... first you're doing nothing wrong. You've been open and up front with the friends with benefits... My opinion, the FWB's thing rarely works. Someone ALWAYS ends up hurt. Someone always ends up with feelings (which has happened to each of you) - I think it would be interesting to see how friends with benefits guy reacts if you tell him you are physical with someone else. That might be the kick in pants he needs to get a little more serious with you. Right now you're his "sure thing" with no commitment. Sorta having his cake and eating it too... which is okay because you have a mutual agreement. BUT... I bet some jealousy might arise if the thought of you being with someone else came about! :)

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    • yeah! good point. i think in the need he likes me but is not head over heels. He really calls me all the time and there's definitely a good connection there. he isn't looking for commitment with other people (i guess) and is comfortable the way things are. so am i, but i'm developing feelings and that makes me too vulnerable for this type of arrangement.

      the other day i told him i went for ice cream with another guy and his voice tone completely changed xD

  • look if you are feeling guilty then yeah maybe that's a bad thing
    if you want to be loyal then just don't tell him that you are looking other guys.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think all parties should be informed.

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