Who was right? did I cross the line?

So this Halloween weekend my friend was throwing a party, I was planning on going with my boyfriend, so when I call him to pick me up he made a big deal, he didn't want to pick me up, but he had no problem picking up his guy friend, so I hung up and I called my guy friend instead and asked him if he could pick me up, with no hesitation he said yes, so we went to the party together and I saw my boyfriend there with all of his buddies and I went up to all of them along with my guy friend and said hello to each and everyone of them except for my boyfriend. So who was right? Did I cross the line or did he have it coming? What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What kind of line would you have crossed? Your friend was throwing a party. Your boyfriend decided to be an asshole and not give you a ride. You found a different way to get to the party. None of that seems like you crossed a line. Not saying hello to your boyfriend may be seen as a bit passive-aggressive I suppose, but I would have assumed you were pretty pissed off at him because that was a super asshole move, so I think it's pretty reasonable to expect a little bit of cold standoffishness from that.

    So I guess to answer directly:
    "Who was right?" - I don't see a right/wrong here. I see him being a total asshole, and you being (rightfully) mad about it.
    "Did I cross the line?" - no
    "Did he have it coming?" - yes, that was a break-up level of assholery.
    "What should I do?" - who wants to date a guy like that? I would be breaking up with a partner if they decided they wouldn't pick me up for a party but would pick up some other person instead. Unless they had a pretty amazing excuse. It's petty, unsupportive, childish, and a terrible red flag that the relationship will be fraught with fights.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Well first of all; sounds like your boyfriend is a real jerk. Second, you probably should have been the bigger person at the party, and said Hi to him. This way, when you did bring it up later on that night, or the next day about how it hurt you for what he did. He wouldn't have any ammunition to use, and couldn't put fault of the issues from that night on you. Third, your guy friend came right away, and your boyfriend did not? If I were in your shoes, I would think about turning those titles around.

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    • He said he didn't pick me up because he was testing me, he said that he knew I was gonna show up with a guy.

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    • So do I not have a valid argument anymore, since I went my guy friend instead?

    • It depends on your previous relationship with your friend. Did you two date in the past, and/or was there anything ever between you two? If not, then you have a valid argument. Either way though, you two should talk about the underlining trust issues that seem to be a problem in your relationship. Relationships are built upon many things, but one large one is trust.

  • I can't see why your boyfriend couldn't take you... he was going to the same party. It seems like he wanted to be single for the night... if I had done that I would be expecting some of the cold shoulder treatment you gave... that's a given considering his poor behaviour.

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  • He had it coming, but you shouldn't have been passive aggressive like that.

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  • I will need to know your costume in order to provide accurate information...

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What Girls Said 2

  • both of you are at fault. he messed up by not giving you a good reason why he couldn't pick you up and you messed up because you acted childish. you should have asked him if you two could talk in private and then talk about what was wrong and why he didn't pick you up but he did for his friends, so you're both at fault but for different reasons. but him more than you. its always better to talk about things instead of acting out of spite.

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  • I think he had it coming I would have probably done the same thing

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