Should I initiate conversation after one month of dating?

So I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now. We have been out a ton (6 plus dates) and for the past month he has texted me basically everyday even when I've been out of town the past few weekends. What's been weird is last Wednesday we went out and had a sleepover (sex started pretty early for us). Didn't hear from him all of Friday when it was my first weekend back in the city for a few weekends. He texted Saturday and Sunday but not Monday. I just find it strange that his texts are lessening and he hasn't made plans with me this week although he usually makes last minute plans anyways. Should I text to show some interest? I've generally acted like the "chill girl" up until this point but maybe it's time for me to give a little I'm not sure. Help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men usually are expected to step up, ask the girl out, initiate contact and communication, but this is only for a certain time frame. The whole point in a relationship is that both of you are working towards the same thing. I'm surprised that you haven't started texting first by the second week. You need to stop being the too chill girl because that's exactly what you're showing yourself as and he is losing interest because you're giving him the complete control of the relationship. Some girls don't understand this, but by doing nothing, you let them take lead and this gets boring really quickly. When you initiate and start conversations, even invite him out on a date, men like that because we know there's someone else on the other end. To us it's like hugging someone who won't hug us back. Yes, we can hug them but does it really matter if they don't respond? Just start texting him and invite him out to do things too. He's not just some guy, he's the guy you want to hang out with so act like it. Just like your friends, if you want to hang out you don't just wait for them to invite you out, you invite them out. Follow suit.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's had to make other plans for the weekends while you were gone and these have become more regular now... perhaps others depend on him to show up.
    Now that sleepover goals have been met, he doesn't need to try so hard for that goal... hopefully he has other goals in mind that include you and will once again be more aggressive after attending to distractions.

    Thus, it's not the communication from you that he needs - that just complicates his life (most of which you may not know about). What he needs is more face-face time, the time you've not been able to give prior. So what to do? Invite him to bring his calendar to a coffee tets-a-tets with yours and begin to figure out what can be hammered out as dates/hang togethers on a more regular basis. During this meeting, you'll see his puzzled face once in awhile as he weighs privately in his mind some of those private affairs/events' priorities to being with you. If he shares some of these, be quick to show your enthusiasm in wanting to be included.

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What Guys Said 3

  • ... Yeah initiating a conversation for once with the guy you've been on 6+ dates with and have slept with would probably be a good start

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  • it's like you're adhering to some strict rulebook.

    good gawd lol

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  • Your playing a game- miss 'chill girl' and now he's loosing interest. You must contact him first and pursue him as well. You expect him to do everything? Do not listen to other womens advice. Makeing him do everything will loose him every time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Men do t like to always be the one scheduling dates and he has been unable to see you due to your schedule. So take the lead and set something up with him for a change. Good luck

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