Why are girls so eager to shame guys for dating younger girls?

I date mostly younger girls, though not entirely by choice. I'm 23 but the girls who seem interested in dating me are usually in their teens. My girlfriend right now is 18, and my female friends have to prod me about that any time I talk about her. It's not all just good-natured ribbing, either. I get a real sense that they want to make me feel bad for dating someone younger. One friend even told me that I date younger girls because I'm scared of girls my age. The reality is that girls my age all want to be with guys who are close to 30 with established careers and money, neither of which I have right now.

I don't see anything wrong with me dating a freshman girl, so why do they want to shame me for dating the girls who actually want to be with me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with dating younger girls as long as it ain't illegal. All men I've dated were way older than me. My first boyfriend was 24 and I was 18, I was engaged to a 33 year old and was dating a 36 year old for a while. Personally I wouldn't look twice if it came to men dating younger gurls

    • What I don't get is that it's the teen girls who really like me, not the 23 yos. So am I supposed to not date because me dating an 18 yo might seem creepy? I don't get it. No one's being harmed, so what's the prob? thanks for you answer.

    • Girls usually date men older than them. That's the explanation I see for it. And honey, date whoever you wanna date. Don't worry bout what the haters gotta say. Just keep it legal


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What Girls Said 5

  • It's not you that refers to. It's that some men seem to always want women aged 18, no matter how old they are themselves. 30, 40, 50 , 60 ... and at some point it just gets ridiculous. There's an element of taking advantage of someone young and naive and also the element of being extremely shallow and selfish. For what other reason would they want a woman that age. And then there's also arrogance and entitlement. The idea that no matter how old and ugly they get, they deserve to have a woman in her prime. As you can tell by all the guys that claim men age like wine. Which you don't. You can argue about who ages worse, but for all of us attractiveness and physical health decline with age. In your id 20s you're likely as attractive as you'll ever be and likely as healthy as you'll ever be

    If you're honest you wouldn't want your 18 year old daughter or sister to be with a guy twice or thrice her age. Most people understand it as inherently wrong, even if they can't pinpoint why it is

    • I don't see anything "inherently wrong" with adults of any age dating another adult. I do have a younger sister (she's 20), and she's dated guys who are as old as 33. That's up to her. I don't care until the guy threatens or harms her. My main concern is for her to be with a decent guy regardless of his age. TBH, there are probably more fuckwads who are 18-21 than any other age group.

  • I think because... sometimes it seems like older guys take advantage of younger girls. They use their age and possibly experience to... really shape the relationship and take it places that maybe the girl might not want to go, but she goes anyways because she doesn't want to "lose" the older guy (which is a status symbol for young girls) and she's too young/immature/psychologically undeveloped to see how she's being manipulated.

    Might not be the case with you, but I've seen it plenty of times. And your friend is right- older guys sometimes go for younger girls because they are simply easier to manipulate than someone their own age who is more mature, has greater cognitive development. There is a huge difference between minors and adults- it's been documented.

    • An 18 yo girl is an adult, and the notion that a guy could just run over her is kind of demeaning, I think, because it assumes that girls are all these helpless, stupid little waifs. LOL the girl I'm dating isn't helpless at all! She's very outgoing and assertive. The real difference is that she was crazy for me when we met. I've never met a girl my age who was anywhere near that interested in knowing me.

    • I've met very immature 18 y/o girls. And mature ones. I wasn't making a blanket statement, just how your relationship is likely to be seen...

      I guess you're going to have to figure out a way for this not to bug you lol.

    • Well, the only solution is to ditch my female friends, which I've considered. They're the ones with the problem, not me, cause I would never shame any of them for dating a younger guy. Who cares, really?

  • I think its because they want to protect the girl! They things she super navie or something. hahah

  • they are jealous.. seriously there is no other reason.. ignore them.. laugh at them internally.. :P

    • What I don't understand is who they're jealous of. Are they jealous of her for getting me or jealous of me for having a relationship?

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    • I suppose. That's just sad, and it's sad to think that people I consider friends are like that.

    • don't worry about them losers.. :P i consider age gap when it is more than 15 years..

  • It's probably because she's still considered a teen. Since she's 18 I don't see as much of a problem with it rather than if she was like 15-16.

    • So, what's wrong with her being a teen? 18 is an adult in the eyes of the law, and she's more sexually experienced that I am! LOL

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    • Well how else do you want me to explain it? Some people find it inappropriate, some do not. Some people find racism or sexism okay and feel like it's justified, some do not. It depends on the person.

    • I'm not saying that you should be able to obviate the problem. I get that you're saying there's no way to get around people's judgments, but what I'm saying is that these things shouldn't just be accepted at face value. Like I said, if some guy was being sexist, I seriously doubt you or any other girl would just say, "ah well, it is what it is." To me, this is sexism against men, because the condemnation of my relationship is based on the hypothesis that I'm somehow taking advantage of this poor, helpless girl, which is not even remotely close to the truth.