What do you think about this girl?

I'm 21 year old guy, known this girl for only about 2 months, met at the gym, only hung out wit her 4 times outside of the gym(she was the one who asked me to hang every time except the last time) so the last time we hung out, I asked her how she felt about me, she said she thought I was a nice guy, fun guy blah blah but she thought it was understood that we were just friends and that she doesn't feel that "connection, at least not yet" so I told her I'm interested in her and that basically its kind of a waste of time if she doesn't see this going anywhere. So I figured the next week or two she would lay low and not talk to me so much, BUT NOPE, OTHER WAY AROUND. She talks to me ALMOST every day, and then this past week she texted me or Imed me Tuesday-Friday asking me what's up/ what I ate for dinner/if I'm going to the gym, etc. (I hardly ever contact her first) yet she never ASKS me to hang out with her. Do you think she is POSSIBLY starting to see me in a diff light and is just scared? And should I ask her to chill again soon?

and I haven't asked her to hang out at all in the past month except last saturday night I asked her if her and her friend wanted to meet me and my friend at applebees and she was like "i would, but I'm in my pajamas and I'm studying, and I can't eat anything cause I gotta get blood work done tomorrow"


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it sounds like this girl doesn't have any friends in her life and views you as her friend. She has already told you that she doesn't feel a romantic connection with you, so there can be nothing else that she feels towards you other than being a friend. It sounds as though she is very needy and you may be her only friend at this time. I would draw some boundaries with her to keep her from becoming dependent on you to be her only friend, and especially if you would like to have more of a relationship with her than just friends. Drawing boundaries with her will prove to her that you have a life outside of her, and it may give her more respect for you as a potential partner or mate for the future. She may begin to see you in a different light. Also, do not do "friend" stuff with her if you want more than that. She will either start to feel a spark towards you because you are saying no to her (and women love that! ) or else she will get mad and hit the road. Either way, you'll be a winner!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Ok you said she used to ask you to hang out every time but once. Now even though she calls you all the time she doesn't ask you to hang out. Shady. I don't know. Maybe she's playing with your head or now that she knows you like her wants to hang onto that.

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  • There is nothing wrong with being friends for a while. Or for that matter, friends in general. It is wise to get to know someone first before wanting to jump into bed with her. Ultimatums are not good.

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  • so you tried to ask her out and she said no. ok. she is just trying to be your friend is all and that's ok because if she is not flirting with you or leading you on then just be her friend. why do you have to date or nothing nothing else? can you not just be her friend? maybe now maybe then she will end up liking you but don't hold your breath. life is give and take and a trial run. don't loose sleep over this and don't be like millions of people reading into things. she has said no she just wants to be friends and she never asks you to hang out listen to her she is trying to tell you I just want to be friends but not everyday friends. not being mean I'm just being honest. she did the right thing and told you no I don't wanna date you. its very possible to just be friends with the opposite sex in fact its for your benefit if you do.

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  • Maybe you should just take things slow and see what she says.

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What Guys Said 7

  • This is tough. To me, you guys are technically just friends, for now. She seems like a girl who has some reserved feelings. The other scenario is that she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Did you ask her why she just wants to be friends (don't take that "I don't want to ruin our friendship" crap). I've been in this situation before, beware if you really like her. Give it some time though before you ask her out again, and keep a little bit of distance. Just don't always be available to her, make her want you in a way.

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  • I had a girl tell me that there wasn't going to be an "us". She didn't want a relationship. It just wasn't going to happen. But she kept getting closer. In no time we were a couple and then she was talking about marriage. It was me pursuing - but with her leading. In another case, a girl who didn't want a relationship was having someone's kid the next time I saw her. What can I say? Go by body language and not words.

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  • Well I'm in a situation kind of like yours I'm going to just be friends. There are so many benefits to friends first. First of all if you become her best friend first you will know her inside and out, you will know what her weaknesses her strengths. You will know what she likes and dislikes. You really will understand her for who she is. It is easier to hit it off as friends first besides the pressure isn't there for instance the sexual drive which can destroy relationships. So if you really like this girl I would get to know her as a friend first besides it helps in the long run.

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  • Dude play it by ear, and if she wants to hang out again she'll call and ask you, but mostly she's texting and I'ming you to see how you react since she knows how you feel if she feels anything she'll get you out of the friend zone, cause she's the only one(i learned that the hard way)that can do that so just chill back relax, keep talking with her but when you get a shot date other chicks, you are not attached to her right? So date and have fun, but if she likes you like you do her and date other ones be careful if she does find out so, once again play it by ear.

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  • You need to understand what kind of girl she is when it comes to love relationship, there's girls which even he know that person likes her, she can still be normal with him. I think they are open minded girl(not sure) but anyway if she's one of them girls then you might be a bit overreacted. Give this time and ask her to hung out and see if she will, maybe her feelings for you will grow.

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    • There's girls out there even she know that person likes her** (^^; spelling mistake)

  • What's wrong with just hanging out. If you two have fun together, why not? Maybe she will even grow to like you.

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  • She's found she can control you. She likes it and has nothing better going on right now. Sooner or later she'll get tired of dangling you like a toy and find a boyfriend. Then you'll be the emasculated "safe" guy friend who she still doesn't think of that way.

    Stop returning her texts the minute she sends them (I know you do), get yourself a few dates and you'll be much more appealing as a boyfriend.

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