I dropped a bomb on my boyfriend how long do I give him his space for?

I told my boyfriend that I had HPV, I got it back in highschool and was told by a doctor that I had gotten rid of it. (HPV falls between the cold virus and HIV in that it can be cleared but some not everyone can get rid of it and it is an STI.) I know he needs time to process, but how long should I wait?

  • 1 day
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  • 2 day
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  • 3 days +
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  • Wait for him to text you.
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  • A few hours
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you had sex with your boyfriend? How long have you been together? My girlfriend and I found out several months into our relationship that we both had chlamydia, and we didn't know it until she went in for a routine yearly test. Of course, we were both treated, and that was that. It's done and over with, and just part of our past now. We don't know where it came from, but all that matters is that it's gone. With you, it sounds like the whole thing happened before your boyfriend came into the picture. You're clean now, aren't you? So, it's just part of your past. It doesn't change who you are as a person. You had sex with someone who didn't know they had it. Oh well, that's life.

    If he cares about you, it will bother him very little, or perhaps not at all. I know that my girlfriend slept around in high school and had chlamydia back then as well, but I don't care. We're together now and I love her, so why does what happened in high school matter? She's been loyal to me for two years now. I was a completely different person back then, as was she. I'm sure you have also come a long way since high school, as most people do. Just give him whatever amount of time he needs. Maybe a few days. It shouldn't take that long, however.

    • The important thing here is that your doctor says you have been cleared of it. If not, everything I just said goes out the window, because that's a major issue if you still have it. But, I trust that your doctor was correct.

    • So recently my PAP came back Low grade CIN (its like pre-pre-cancer) and the doctor thinks that there is a chance that I did not clear my HPV, but forced it into remission. I talked to the doctor who said I was clean and she thinks that it merely started a dominos effect, and my body DID clear it. There is no way to uno for sure, so I told him that. In December I will be getting retested for HPV and will have my pap test redone but until then it's all in the air.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say you should wait for him to text you. He probably needs some time to process this. It's a big deal.


What Guys Said 2

  • You need to do some research on HPV. I don't think there is a definitive test for it. Also bear in mind that it's very common. Most people don't know they've got it until secondary issues happen, like genital warts. There is a vaccine available.

    • There are +100 strands of HPV, 40 are STI's, 12 are high risk or cancer causing.
      The original Gardacil covers 4 strains of HPV, Cervex covers 2 strains, and Gardacil 9 covers 6 strains. Because I got the original Gardacil vaccine, I have a type that is not covered. There is no way to test what strain you have.

    • Well, you know the score, then. It's up to your b/f. I guess if the statistics are correct, there's a reasonable chance he has it already and doesn't know.

  • Well it all depends on him... And what do you mean by how long should you give him space?

    What are you gonna do if he takes longer than what you expect? Dump him or something?

    • No Im going to give him his space, not text him or anything and then if he hasn't gotten back to me after so long (probably 2-3 days) I will reach out to him.

    • Oh OK cool... He should accept it... Cause it was your past

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