How do I ask my boyfriend this?

My boyfriend and i have been dating for 8 months now and he has this female friend that lives about ten minutes away from home.. he lives about 20 minutes away from me. Well they have been friends for 6 years and she is always asking him for rides because she doesn't have a license and she deosnt work or go to school or do anything productive with her life really. Well at first i didn't say anything about it because i thought once she saw that we are in a committes serious relationship that she would stop with the calling him and texting him almost every day and asking him for rides almost every weekend you know back off a little bit out of respect for our relationship. Well that hasn't happened yet. Well what really got me was on Saturday my boyfriend her and i went bowling together. He picked her up first which is not my issue at all because he lives closer to her but my issue is that when he got to my house she didn't get in the back to let me sit in the front. Like hello im his girlfriend im pretty sure a guys girl gets dibs on the front seat unless its like someone from an older generation like his mom or something. Whenever i have been in the front seat i always give it up and get in the back for a friends boyfriend or girlfriend. Whenever the 3 of us hangout and we are headed back to the car she always goes in the front. My mom even said to me the one day umm i know i didn't just see you get in the backseat and let another women in the front seat. In certain ways i feel like im sharing my boyfriend with this other way. Yes i know guys and girls can just be friends but this is beyond that. And i would never treat a guy who is just a friend like that. And when they had gfs i always made sure i got to know them and i respected their relationship and understood that their relationship came first. So my question is how do i word to my boyfriend that it really bothers me that he acts totally ok with this other girl get the front seat and that i feel like i am sharing my boyfriend in a sense.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him directly, and stop hangouts with her..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ah I can see wha you mean. You can honestly say that sometimes You feel as if you're sharing him, you're happy that he has a good female friend, but you're not supposed to feel second place. She may be feeling like all his time is not focused on her anymore, and that now that he has a girlfriend she just wants to prove her spot as the best female friend. It's rude though she doesn't seem to get it, and it can be hard for her. You should also say that he's not her chauffeur and she can ask other people for rides. Or take the damn bus

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    • Exactly like i get friends help out friends but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. He can't be treating a girl like he would a girlfriend when he already has a girlfriend. And im sorry if this sounds bitchy but i feel as his girlfriend i should be his best female friends because in my opinion relationships work best when you are also friends. I think when i see him again in like an hour im going to talk to him very calmly and explain that i have no problems with them being friends but there has to be some boundaries and respect and that at the end of the day my feelings should come first and i shouldn't feel second best to another women

    • Yes definitely, let me know how it goes!

    • I definitely will!

What Guys Said 4

  • Well, you have to be honest with him and tell him upfront, no indirect talks, just tell him directly and tell him that this behaviour bothers you and that you don't appreciate it.

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  • I'm a guy and have seen this situation turn bad too many times. I sat with another couple while in an ltr and the guys said no and the girls said yes. Three weeks later the other woman broke off her engagement and moved in with her "friend". Guys are opportunists and will exploit any opportunity. My advice be careful and watch your back.

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  • don't ask this is too long... LMAO

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  • Just tell him that it bothers you that she is not respecting your relationship. And also I think she might have some feelings for him and maybe trying to sabotage by doing little things like that. Has anything ever happened between them?

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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to straight up let him know that you know their friends but she needs to respect that your his girlfriend. Honestly yeah she should be sitting in the back I'm pretty sure everyone thinks you're the third wheel when they see you arrive. Plus you say she does nothing with her life I hope your boyfriend doesn't also pay for her. You need to tell him and if he doesn't want to tell her just get out of that relationship. You can find a guy that has a little more common sense. I get that they have been friends longer than he's known you but that giving her rides has to change. Like there is public transportation and car services.

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    • Yeah thats how i feel. Like to me it doesn't matter how long they been friends when someone gets into a relationship certain common sense boundaries and respect come into play. Like you said with the whole seat thing she honestly believes she should come first which is crazy to me because he is dating me not her. My mom said it best that if ad his girlfriend he doesn't consider me his best female friend then there is a problem. I am definitely going to talk to him very calmly tonight about how im cool with them being friends but i shouldn't be playing second fiddle to another women all the tine

    • Yeah you shouldn't put up with it I know for damn sure I wouldn't. I hope he realizes that it's wrong and fixes it

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