If your partner said "I love you" for the first time, would you rather say it back even if it's not true or not say it at all?

So basically, your girlfriend/ boyfriend says "I love you" for the first time. You either are not sure that you reciprocate the feeling, or sure that you don't. What would you answer?

  • Say it back anyway, or it will hurt them too much !
    14% (17)28% (21)19% (38)Vote
  • Saying nothing is better than lying...
    61% (72)47% (36)55% (108)Vote
  • It depends (explain?)
    25% (30)25% (19)26% (49)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Loving someone can be different to being in love with someone. So to not speak it for fear of not feeling it. Then we can always use this term of not being in love but being able to love them for who they are. So your not lying. Your just reserving the commitment for another time. X

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If someone doesn't feel the same way I want them to be honest. I've had the situation happen ALL TOO OFTEN by the way, where I love a guy and he doesn't even care. He's just in the relationship to get sex and the girlfriend experience. I always hear the excuse "Well, you kept talking to me". Ummm ya, that's what gf's do! I'm not a mind reader. If a guy doesn't like me or no longer has an interest in the relationship he has to tell me. I don't have time for bs anymore

    If they continue on like nothing is wrong, and even say everything is fine when I ask, then it's not my fault that I didn't know.

    I don't play games and wouldn't put someone through the pain of saying I loved someone if they didn't love me.

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What Guys Said 32

  • Meh. To be honest I don't really understand why people are in relationships with someone when they don't feel like they love them.. A relationship is when you are willing to commit to each other and potentially get married.. so why?

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    • That's what I think, if you are not looking for someone to marry, then why to start a relationship... Just for not being single, that is playing with anothe person...

    • For starters, you don't love someone right away, it's built up over time.

  • I'd keep my mouth shut, and just hug her and change the subject.

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  • i would not and in the past have not said I love in response if I wasn't in fact feeling that way.

    I think it's unfair, misleading and obviously a lie.

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  • Being honest is important. I usually let my partner know how happy I am that they love me and I explain how I feel, maybe I need more time, or maybe I feel the same way, either way it's very important to first acknowledge that you are happy about their proclamation.

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  • If I didn't have the same feelings towards them I'd just pretend I was dumbfounded and then say that I am at a loss of words or something like that. Give me time to think up an adequate response.

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  • From what I've witnessed in my few years on this planet when people say "I love you"

    is this

    I love you = I love the feelings I have when I'm around you. I don't actually love who you are as a human being.

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  • Rather than lying and giving false hope I would say nothing at all

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  • I wouldn't be with them if I didn't love them. Unless they said it like at an awkwardly early stage like weeks or months into it. Also how long I've known them before dating. If it was a very fresh relationship I'd say "I don't want to hurt you but we've only known each other for x weeks. I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that and we will say I love you to each other in a more romantic setting" in a way to defuse it. I've been led on and id rather be shut down early than strung along

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  • I told my wife I loved her only when I could tell she loved me and would respond in kind.

    It would be pretty damned awkward to say it to someone and not have them say it back.

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  • i ll say it back if i feel that i love her... otherwise not... if u feel , u must tell her

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  • I believe in saying it when you truly feel it and when you have had time to really get to know the person.

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  • Honestly, I'd rather lie and say it back. Chances are i will grow to love her eventually and i won't be lying anymore. If not, we break up.

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  • There's only one thing I'm saying when my girl says "I love you."

    25.media.tumblr.com/...m9j7j95Oq01qzeg2so2_250.gif

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  • I didn't know that women this honest when saying I love you lol, but true I think women only say it when they mean more than guys

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  • I think it's unfair and misleading to say it if you don't feel that way. Be honest!

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  • "I love me too, but seriously, let's not do the mushy stuff. Let's save that for the bedroom. You know I like it rough anyway." ;)

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  • If you do not feel it, why would you be with her at the first place?

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  • This is exactly why you should wait till the girl says it.

    I feel that guys fall in love quicker than girls, so if she says it first, you'll both be feeling it.

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  • I love everyone, but being IN love is a entirely different situation.

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  • "your girlfriend/ boyfriend says "I love you" for the first time. You either are not sure that you reciprocate the feeling, or sure that you don't"

    …isn't that contradictory?

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  • I'll think about it before replying. Or I may say that I can't say it back at that moment because it'd not be spontaneous on my behalf but a follow up.

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  • I may or may not take that as an opportunity to break up with them.

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  • Say it back! I found a girl that loves me, why would I do anything that hurts her feelings.

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  • At least we know who thinks the other sex can handle the hard truth.

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  • I am 13. Thiz is why I clik ed other.
    Shadow out

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  • Even Einstein couldn't solve this equation. ...

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  • Voted - B... do not lie

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  • I wouldn't lie to. them, I never do

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  • If I didn't have the same feelings towards them I'd keep my mouth shut

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  • thats fucked up. if you dont why be with him/her

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What Girls Said 33

  • I would definitely NOT say it back unless it was true and I really meant it. I hate when people say those words just to say it to make their partner feel good. If it isn't true then that takes away the whole meaning behind saying 'I love you' in the first place. It's just not genuine. So, I would not lie about my feelings like that. Instead, I would just tell them that while I do care for them, I don't feel that strongly yet (I say 'yet' because if it's a relationship, I'm sure I will feel that way at some point in the future).

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  • When my boyfriend said it, he said it on the phone when he was saying goodnight and I promptly responded with, "Okay goodbye!" And hung up.

    And then sat there panicking about it for like 30 seconds.

    He then texted me a, "Gee, thanks," so I called him back and said it.

    I knew I felt that way too but his saying it caught me off guard and I panicked lmao

    He still likes to remind me of it :p even though that was like 6 years ago.

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  • I wouldn't lie and say I loved him back, but neither would I say nothing. I would sit down with him and explain to him that it makes me extremely happy that he'd say that, and that I appreciate it a lot. Then I'd tell him about my own feelings. Maybe I just need a little more time to get to that point. I dunno. But I'd make it a point to tell him that just because I don't love him back yet, it doesn't mean I never will or that I don't want to be with him. I would tell him when I get there and until then, I would just be extremely happy to be with him.

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  • If I dont love them but dont wanna hurt them I say

    "I love youtube" really fast

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  • Unless it was ridiculously early I think I would say it back just so he wasn't embarrassed. I would probably feel really strongly about him at that point though so it wouldn't matter

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  • It really depends on how long you've been seeing each other. I've had guys say it on the first date at which point I laugh. Vin all honesty when it's a real relationship, I say it first usually. In those cases, one guy praised me saying how wonderful it is to hear and he said "well on my way too!"

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  • I voted for saying nothing, but I would actually tell them the truth. No one likes to be lied to, especially over something like that. The truth is always your best bet.

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  • You could just say you're not ready to say I love you yet. If you're cautious in relationships like I am and the guy was understanding, I'm sure he wouldn't care.

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  • The first time my fiance told me he loved me, I did not say it back to him. It took me another 4 months to really feel like I loved him. When I was ready, I was able to say it without hesitation. Saying you love someone without meaning it only hurts the relationship.

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  • I would say something that is reassuring that i'm going to feel that way in the near future. If i don't feel it yet, i'm not going to bother saying it back, unless i'm genuine about it.

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  • Why would I tell him that? If I didn't raelly mean it!

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  • What are you crazy? Are you telling me that there is a possibility that somebody out there with L another person that they love them just so they don't hurt their feelings? That is setting yourself up for disaster. Would you go marry him just to not hurt his feelings?

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  • When I first told my boyfriend I loved him Ib did it via note [ coz I'm a pussy] and I told him if he didn't feel the same way Ib rather him tell me the truth than lie especially because I felt the emotions what I thought was too early in our relationship.

    I rather be told the truth that he didn't feel the same than be lied to.

    Fortunately he had strong feelings for me too. I dontb think he quite said love but close to it

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  • I'd say it when I feel it.

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  • I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I feel like people throw the word love around too much. I would probably just say thank you and give them a kiss.

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  • Not say it at all. They might assume the relationship is progressing when it's probably not.

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  • I say thank you and try to move on but if they are super crestfallen I'll let them know why even if it hurts

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  • I wouldn't say it back. I don't see a point in lying and leading him on. I'd rather he know the truth. But hey id tell him how I felt about him and that Im not at that stage yet but I'd be honest

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  • I wouldn't stay silent, but I also wouldn't lie.

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  • I would say it all. I d tell him to slow down.
    Anw I never said it still

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  • i'd say it back. definitely wouldn't say it first.

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  • I pretended to not hear it. When he said it again.. I said thank you.

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  • I wouldn't fake it. :)

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  • I'd tell them i don't feel the same yet and that i appreciate them telling me that.

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  • I'd say, aw you're so sweet, and hug him. thats all

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  • I'd be honest and say that I'm not in love at that moment, but it's possible that that could change

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  • I would rather say nothing, I would say it when I really mean it

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  • I would get annoyed I didn't say it first

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  • Saying nothing is better than lying, babe...

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  • "I know." - Han Solo

    I wish I was cool enough to pull off a "I know" response...

    It depends. If I feel that I actually might have feelings for him, I'll say it back. If I don't have those feelings, like if it's too soon I will be uncomfortable.

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