Should I always be honest with how many girls I've had sex with?

I recently started dating a girl and I know she's curious about my past love life.
She asked me how many serious relations I've had but I'm pretty sure she'll eventually ask me how many girls I had sex with.
Considering this number is 17, i'm afraid she'll feel bad or intimidated.
What sould I do? Be completly honest or find an acceptable number?

Thanks for your opinion.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly is USUALLY the best policy, and in this case I'd say yes be honest. But you can soften it up a bit. Maybe try telling her, "I may have been with 17 girls, but hopefully you'll be my last" or something to that extent.

    W/e you do, the goal is to make her feel like she is special. Like she is the one you're meant to be with, not those other girls. If she feels intimidated, it'd likely be a sense of "well, who am I compared to all those other girls?" You need to answer that question! Let her know often exactly who she is to you. Make her feel special like she is not just another girl, let her feel like THE girl. You've had many others, but now you've got the right one... That's the impression you're going for.
    It helps if you can feel it yourself, like she is the girl you've been looking for.

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What Girls Said 11

  • telling the truth is always the best thing

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    • I completly agree with you on this matter, but I'm afraid it will not increase her trust in me.

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    • yes you should

    • Life is not that binary :-)

  • Always be completely honest. She deserves it and so do you. Honesty is crucial inside a relationship.

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  • Honesty is the best policy. but if u don't feel comfortable telling her then don't lie just say um I want to keep that to myself and she should respect that

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  • Suss her out first. I realised guys don't have to know the truth. Don't lie though, just beat around the bush or work out viable reasons why the sex wouldn't count.

    Bleh, I actually feel really shitty writing that, I would love to be honest with men but men are so judgmental over the number I now know I have to lie. Bleh. But yeah, no one is entitled to know the truth, I think.

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    • I know we are, but considering there is no social convention for what's an acceptable number, I don't what's my next move. I guess I'll wait long enough before telling her (we've only been dating for two months). Maybe in this way, she'll understand I do care about her and that this number doesn't represent what I feel for her...

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    • haha, to be fair its probably more than 5. at 29? if she's attractive... but i dunno. none of my friends are less than 5 and we're all very early 20s lol

    • thats because you're friends are sluts

  • I think thats crazy but then again I don't know you. Anyway, just be honest and if its a turn off i am sorry what can i say? nothing! You both need to be honest.

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  • Be honest, but only if she asks you. You don't have to go out of your way to tell her about your sexual history, unless you contracted something that she could contract of course.

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  • I think you should be honest with her. The past is the past.

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  • Be honest, if she finds out you lied she's not going to be happy. Plus it's in the past.

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  • Trust me , 17 is not a high number. Be honest with her though and if she is disgusted or put out by it then you don't want someone like that anyways.

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  • Honesty is the best policy. Even though its gonna hurt.

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  • Always go with the truth.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Contrary to popular belief, honesty is not always the best policy. I don't think most people are honest with their significant others when asked this question so I wouldn't feel so bad about lying. She'll probably assume you're lying no matter what you say anyway. In some way this question is really designed to make her feel better about herself or more secure, so it's no different from her asking you how you like her new hairdo. And it's very unlikely she'll ever find out the truth. But I also don't think 17 is high enough of a number to really bother her.

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    • Thanks for the hinsight. I think I'll see how it goes. She hasn't asked me yet but I know she will eventually

  • Simply, telll the truth!! The way you tell her is important..! Tell her in such a way that she thinks you are experienced!! Let me know what the outcome is...

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    • That's actually what I'd like to do, but I don't won't her.
      I guess I'll wait long enough before telling her (we've only been dating for two months). Maybe in this way, she'll understand I do care about her and that this number doesn't represent what I feel.

    • All the best, dude!!!

  • Just brush it off with humor, ''real men don't kiss and tell.''
    The more you say, the more you messed it up.
    Sometimes, it's better to keep sensitive things for ONLY yourself.

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  • Well girls always lie or say that it's none of your business so I think you should adopt the same mentality

    *awaits downvotes*

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    • She has been transparently honest with how many guys she has dated/had sex with, so in a way I'd like to adopt the same mentality as you said...

  • Be honest, it doesn't matter you will teach her. But if you are really 29 and she is 17 you are a disgusting person

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  • 17 isn't much. That's a little more than 1 a year if you started early. I think at your age it's a great number, it's not small and it's not ridiculously high (I have friends in triple digits). Judge her character, if she is prudish, go in tentatively or not at all, if she is more open then just say it gracefully. If she is hot and bubbly, she probably has had more than you ha ha

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  • Be honest. If she can't handle the number, she's not the girl for you.

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  • you should be honest about things like this. would you want her lying to you about this stuff?

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  • no dont do it.

    itll hurt her even though its not cheating and itll bring nothing good for you guys. beleive me shell use it against you sometime

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  • I think she'll be impressed. Most girls won't be turned off though but some might.

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  • You should be. No loimtbin lying now and getting confronted later.

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  • That's weak bruh

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  • Be honest, but tell her in a way that shows that you want to be seen as more than just that guy

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  • Don't EVER tell a woman how many other women you have been with. There is no good that can possibly come from answering that question with anything but humor and deflection. Read this:

    therationalmale.com/.../

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  • Is there any chance you could have a STD?

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  • I guarantee that no female is ever honest about who many men she has been with, ever. And it is likely she has had more than you.
    The law of 3 always applies... guys numbers are usually exaggerated by x3 and girls are usually under stated by x3.

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