I am curious to hear for anyone who has managed to make an open relationship work. What rules do you have, and how did you bring up the fact with your partner that you couldn't be monogamous?
Anyone here successfully managed to make an open relationship work?
What Guys Said 1
Yes, I have. And know quite a few people that also have. It's a pretty complex issue though, maybe more than a few posts on a GaG question could help answer. We made a lot of common mistakes while first opening it up. Didn't realize they were mistakes at the time, though after we did it we found a lot of resources online that basically pointed out a lot of the mistakes we were making, as they are pretty common. That first conversation was... intense, and intimidating. But it had to be done, and had to be done as openly and honestly as possible. Honesty is a pretty vital trait in any relationship, but it is even more important for an open relationship, because it really requires absolute trust, and you can't have that without absolute honesty.
Jealousy is going to be one of the biggest issues to overcome. People are basically taught to be jealous in relationships, so that switch to compersion can be a difficult one to make - there really are not many examples in day-to-day life for you to lean on for inspiration. It helps to realize that most jealousy is rooted in fear, and that it can partially be offset by dealing with the fear directly. Basically attack the root of the jealousy and the plant will die. But the plant itself is really tough to tackle directly.
Rules is hard to discuss as a generalization, as almost every couple handles things slightly differently.0
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