I told my boyfriend I just need him to tell me he likes me every once in a while?

I told my boyfriend I just need him to tell me he likes me every once in a while or that he's glad he met me and he said he didn't know if he could give me that. On his end he says how can you not know that?

granted I woke him up in the middle of the night to discuss this because he did something that upset me as we were going to bed and I couldn't sleep.

He thinks it is unecessary and unreasonable for me to ask him to say it. Can any of you guys relate to this? Is he just trying to avoid saying it because it isn't true?

its not like I'm asking him to tell me he loves me. Anytime I try to tell him how I feel he gets mad and says it shouldn't have to be this hard.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He should tell you this. That's certainly reasonable.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This will be kind of irritating. Try to avoid doing such things. I mean, if he feels like it, he will say it. What's the point in requesting skneone to say it?

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    • Yeah I know. It is embarrassing that I had to ask but we've been together for 5 months and sometimes you just need to hear it.

    • Depends on people. Some guys (and girls for thst matter) are very expressive and some are not. Doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.

  • I tell my girlfriend I lover her from the time she wakes up to the time she closes her eyes to sleep. At least 4 times a day. I'm sorry to hear your situation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He may not be verbal about this kind of stuff, so for him to say it upon request makes it doubly awkward because you shouldn't have to tell him to say that he likes you.
    It's possible that he's irritated that you feel that he's not showing enough like/love. So it makes him not irritated at you, but irritated at himself which he might inadvertently take out on you.

    Alternatively, does he feel you're too clingy? Needing someone is a sure thing in a relationship, but needing someone all the time can be a bit suffocating. Be aware of his space and your space.

    See, if he feels the urge to say it, he will. And he wants you to say it when you have the urge to too. That way, the feeling is genuine and doesn't end up becoming empty words said for the sake of saying just because you're in a relationship.

    Ask yourself why you feel insecure/unwanted that you "need" him to say it. I don't know what happened between you, so I can't help you as much, but better not to force anyone to say it. Be positive and share positive energy with him.

    If you really feel insecure due to something that happened between you, based on whatever the situation is, give it some time, or, share with him why you feel that way and ask him why he feels that way and what can be worked out. For a relationship, both of you need to be on the same page.

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    • I can tell you one thing from experience.
      My boyfriend sometimes gets upset that I don't text him enough. Granted, it is true.
      Why? Because I either have nothing to share, or I'm busy, or I don't feel the urge.
      That does not mean I don't love him, or I don't think about him. We've been together 5 years.
      But when he tells me that he gets upset, I also get upset because I wonder why I can't do this much. I will start texting him a few days after that, but eventually, I'll again go spare.
      I'm just not wired that way. His asking me, I understand, but I want to do it at my own pace and at my own will. Not text him because he requested - it's not a job - but text him because I want to.

    • Thank you that's solid advice. I could feel this thing spiraling out of control as it happened and realized it is more likely to push him away. But things did happen that were really making me feel that way in the moment. I didn't want to give him a laundry list or assign blame because it wasn't about being mad about it or justified. I was just hurting and I needed him to reassure me in some way. I hate having to ask for that and I felt so pathetic doing so but it is something I really needed in the moment. I guess I should have better explained I just need to hear it not because I don't know it. I just HATE so much that I needed to hear it because I'm not used to needing anyone.

      I guess I understand why he react that way but it just mad it even worse for me asking for something I was afraid to ask for. Fml

    • Hey, don't feel pathetic for asking that. If you were that needy, and even hurting, then maybe you should open up and talk about it. Just make sure you both listen to each other.
      One step before that, ask yourself if you can solve it yourself. Like you said, it's not a blame game. If you can take care even half of what was on that list of yours, then good. Bring up the things that need to be brought up, not the little things that you know you can adjust.

      If you feel you're being unappreciated, first ask yourself if you're expecting too much out of him, or being way too dependent on him. If the answer is no, and you feel that you really would love it if he could do certain things for you, then sit and talk it out. Be calm about it and make him understand your side. And tell him he should be frank and open and he should clear out his side of the story. That way, you can see what needs work, what can be compromised, and where you can give each other support.

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