Ladies do you ever let a guy know he has competition?

If you feel things are going to slowly and you want the guy to hurry up, do you mention competition or try to show that you're not waiting around forever?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. If a guy only starts putting in effort when he's afraid of losing me to someone else, he'll just go back to his old ways once he has me. If he's not putting in the amount of effort I want right from the start, then he most likely never will. He should be putting effort into it because he actually wants to, not because he feels he has to.

    • Okay, well here's the thing, I've been putting effort in, initiated our texts (and she never did anything to stop from the carrying on... i. e. always asked questions back, joked around etc.) However, we haven't been able to meet up since we initially met and I've noticed she still drops hints of wanting to see, me but will tell me about a guy she's gone a date on but wants to know when I am available etc.

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    • A lot of people don't and I don't see why it's something you would have to put up with? Most people also drink alcohol but that doesn't stop me from not drinking it.

    • Great answer!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, I notice that too.

    • How do you notice it? Can you elaborate?

    • A chick once was checking me out, than talking, flirting etc. But I kept my dictance.

      After a few weeks she changed tactics by sitting next to another guy, laughing with trying to get attention from me. Than few day after she tried to flirt with me again.

    • So you just ignored her when she did this?

      I mean the girl that's doing it to me, I just ignored her comment about the other guy and just carried on with the conversation

What Girls Said 2

  • When you say competition do you mean that she looks like she is available to a number of men that may be interested in her? No, there is no competition when it comes to me, if i like someone and I like them a lot, bet you any money I would be spending the most time with them.

    • As I said on sjoes006 post:

      For example they'll tell you about guys that hit on them, or that they're dating (real or not), or they have a date coming up BUT they'll follow it up with showing interest in you, seeing if you're available, and have definitively showed interest before.

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    • Well I thought more so the case, no point in burning bridges, if she's trying to play games that's her own thing. Worst case scenario, she ends up introducing me to her friends who may be more grounded and secure than her. I get to expand my friendship circle, and potentially meet someone interesting to date.

      Win win ;)

    • oh look who's winning from left right and centre haha

  • No that's lame. There's always competition but I want what I want.

    • Youger girls tens to do that a lot tho.

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    • Insecure people of all ages do this but it isn't a very effective tactic of used on people with their shit together. On the first 3-5 dates or so with someone o usually assume they have dates scheduled with others as do I but I don't go into details I just say I can't that night but how about this night?

      If I'm with someone or accept another date with them it is because I'm interested not because they are my best option. I feel like the only people who would resort to that would be people of little options.

    • Agreed. I am not anyone's back up plan, but I find that people that usually do this, don't actually have any dates planned or anything, it's almost always a bluff. Like you said, you're confident and secure in yourself, so you don't mention it when you are in the early stages of dating, but an insecure person (likely because they don't have another date or anything in play) will have to do a sort of all or nothing play to make the person think they're in a desperate situation

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!