Is it wrong to want to be a housewife, wife and mother mainly?

we girls are supposed to be succesful, independent, have a life and not focus on our guy. But what if we precisely want that? What if that makes us happy? (to be a housewife and mother mainly)

we are told that we are boring and a turn-off if our live only resolves around our boyfriend, husband? (excluding friends). is it wrong to want that?

I do have a "career", I even have Master's degree, but it's actually not the thing I want...
I want work, of course, but primarily I want a family and kids, and work would be my second choice...
I studied, cause I like studying, but it's kind of my plan B if I never get married. That why, I will at least be able to finance myself and live alone (even though I don't want this).

Are there guy who still want those kind of girls, or do you rather prefer the career, independent girl? In my country, it seems, if you are too focused on your guy, you are needy etc. But what if that is the thing that makes you happy the most? Why has it become wrong to prioritize one's relationship over one's career or the so-called "life" (work, friends, party, going out, hobbies...).

Would be interesting to hear more about it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "we girls are supposed to be successful, independent, have a life and not focus on our guy."

    That's what feminism has been telling women for 50 years, and during that time women's average happiness has gone down the toilet.

    Do what you want. You'll be happier than most women.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Raising a family will be the most rewarding experience in your life. I was a stay at home mom and I don't regret it one bit.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I think you can do what ever you want. If someone doesn't like it, it's not your problem. Having said that I would say keep your options open (e. g. keep up to date with what's required for employees), in case you need to get a job some day.

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  • 50 or so years ago, or more, this was most women in the developed countries, so how can we think it is weird?

    Now, it's not an option for most women, takes 2 incomes to barely get by.

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  • You can be whatever it is you want.

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  • Nothing wrong with that at all, no matter what the feminists say.

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    • but it seems to be a turn-off to so many guys if a girl mainly focuses on her guy!! then she is needy, doesn't have a life and blablalba

    • Until your wife gets raped, of course.

    • Sorry, that was intended for another discussion.

      My apologies :-$

  • Is there technically anything wrong with it? No.
    But should you inform your man BEFORE you two settle down about your plans? Absolutely. You can't just suddenly expect him to take the full brunt of your expenses in this economy and age.

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    • depends on the country. where I live, sometimes one income is enough (upper middle class)

    • Perhaps but none the less he has to know before you two settle down. It's only fair, obviously.

  • No, it's OK as long as the man agrees and you two are serious about money because, in modern times, your loss of income will have a significant effect on quality of life. Still, I would support that.

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  • I don't think it's wrong. Life is all about choice. Not all men will want that in a relationship though..

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  • at your age i would tell a man to not trust your true intentions. i certainly wouldn't want a women of your age to be my housewife. a house wife needs to be fresh out of her wrapping so to speak for me to want to have anything to do with her.

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  • It is perfectly okay, as long as you are devoted to raising your kids correctly, and do so passionately.

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  • if that's what you want to do go for it

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  • no, not at all... as a matter of fact, it's more right.

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  • It is nice to hear there are girls like you.

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  • Speaking for myself, If I ever get remarried it will be to the type of woman you describe. I am getting older and want a family of my own as my main priority now. I would prefer for my wife to work part time, so she can be there for the kids but still offer a little help on the bills since I am not a rich guy. I can't imagine that I am the only guy that would be okay with the setup you seem to want.

    "we girls are supposed to be succesful, independent, have a life and not focus on our guy." Also I think there needs to be a lot of balance added to this statement. A guy shouldn't be your whole world, but it seems like neglecting guys is being taught to women now as oppose to properly finding the right balance. I think working part time, and then pitching it a little more at home could be the right balance for a lot of people.

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  • Everyone is entitled to follow what they feel is right for them. For some it may be to be a millionaire business person whole others like yourself want to raise a family and be a housewife.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I feel the same and I get a lot of flack for it from women and men. You just have to tell them to stuff it.

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  • It's good that you have your degree. :)
    No it's not wrong.👍

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  • No, do whatever makes you happy- as long as it is truly what you want. Personally, I would love to be a housewife/wife/mother but I also know that I want to be financially independent... so that just in case I end up with a bad guy, I can support my kids and not have to worry about them not getting what they need. You would be surprised by how much financial independence helps people feel in control and powerful. I would never want to feel like I couldn't survive without my husband. That, to me, isn't a healthy relationship.

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    • I have a degree, and I plan to work part-time. I am living in a country with a good welfare system... they ex-husband would have to pay for the kids anyways (not that I want it, but they are his kids too, so both should finance them)

  • No not really! Seems cool to me!

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  • There's nothing wrong with it. We're kind of hard wired to feel that way if you think about it. It's good you have a plan B.

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  • Do what makes you happy! It doesn't make you anti-feminist to want to be a stay-at-home mum.

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  • No, not at all.
    Don't let others convince you that it's wrong on here

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  • Do whatever ypu want its your choice. Even though I would never choose what you want well its your life

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  • whatever floats your coat.

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  • You can do whatever you want. If that's what makes you happy then do it. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm sure there are a lot of men that would be attracted to someone with your ideas and goals. Some people just have different opinions. You want to be a mother and a housewife. To me that sounds like hell on earth, but you just keep doing whatever makes you happy. I hope you do find a special guy to settle down with and start a family.

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    • I want to work too, I just want to be self-employed!! I really hate workinng with adults and in the corporate field! That's a better way to combine family life.
      I am planning to do a second degree in psychology so that I can help other people

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