Is it me or my boyfriend?

So my boyfriend has very low self esteem. He constantly accuses me of wanting to be with someone else, says I still love my ex, and is always trying to reassure himself I love him. I looked it up and it says him always blaming arguments on me is a sign of that. My dilemma is, we will have an argument which when it's his fault he blames it on me and says it's because I have a bad attitude. I end up questioning myself like "man is it really me that's always doing this?" When I finally say I've had enough hell beg for me back.. I don't know what to do.. I love him. Been with him 5years but I'm so stressed out over it. And I feel like I'm not appreciative and he's starting to make me think IM the bad one here.. Please help with any advice. Thank u


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  • It sounds like and it sounds like the beginnings of a destructive relationship. You need to sit him down and really talk it out with him. Just tell him straight that he's unnecessarily finding things to fight with you about and it's really stressing you out. It's understandable if he has low self-esteem but he needs to realize that and hopefully try to work through it, or find help.
    Next time it happens, maybe you should leave and really stay away for a while. Maybe for a few weeks - give both him and yourself some space.

    • Sorry. "It sounds like it's him" it should read in the first sentence.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Low self-esteem sounds about right, as well as an annoying victim mentality, and inability to admit when he's wrong. Not good. It's him, not you.

    I'd try talking to him about it. Then again, he'd probably turn it around on you...