Guys, When you want to date someone does her holding out on sex make you desire her more?

In terms of pursing a girl you may want a relationship with: does her holding out of sex a bit longer make you desire her more or less?
Does the chase make you feel more accomplished and special when you do get it? Or does it just piss you right off?

  • Yes, shows she doesn't sleep around
    54% (55)
  • No, it pisses me off that she won't put out
    46% (46)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The wait shows that you are a nice girl who cares. It doesn't really show that don't sleep around but it does help with that and a real good indicator. The way I see it I don't want an easy girl and really when a girl is easy I lose interest in her because it seems like she really cares more about sex than me and really at that point all I'm going to see her for is sex or more than likely not see her at all. If a guy isn't willing to wait for you to have sex it just shows that he doesn't care about you and is probably only into you for sex. If he really likes you he will wait as long as you need. Don't waste yourself on guys trying to rush you into sex.

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What Guys Said 42

  • It doesn't piss me off, but I assume she isn't that into me and move on. I don't mind waiting, but I have found that if a woman really likes a guy, will actually sleep with him pretty quickly. This isn't about me being impatient for sex, as much as believing the girl isn't into me. Typically if we don't have strong chemistry, then the relationship never goes any further than just friends. At this point, I am not willing to invest my time into a relationship that I don't believe is going anywhere.

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  • hmm, entirly depends. Its certainly a huge turn off she does it cause of a game. That she isent ready or anything like that is completely fine of course, but if she deliberately does that to try and control you, thats certainly not very nice. In my case that would backfire a lot, I would lose all interest in someone who would try to manipulate me in such ways. I been with a couple of girls who isent the type to sleep around and we just talked and got to know each other for say about 6-9months before we had sex. We just had sex when it felt right basically, no games no nonsence, just honest expressions. I didn't bug her in any sense, she didn't bug me in any sense about it all. It just happen in a natural healthy way.

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  • Well I feel like it's not really "appropriate" to jump to sex just after barely knowing one another, but once it's appropriate if she's still unwilling to have sex then that's just a problem.

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  • It makes me desire her more because it gives me the impression that she isn't someone who rushes into things but that doesn't necessarily make it true. There are cases of women who have slept around with men in their pasts, decided they wanted a relationship, picked the man they want a relationship with and made him wait because she wants to suddenly be seen as relationship material. It's a form of manipulation in that regard.

    The chase doesn't mean I have accomplished something, I don't get the sense of reward or it being special but I do like women who are like me and that are people who don't rush into things, who like to take their time and value sex as more than just a physical act.

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  • It makes me desire her less.

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  • Nah it doesn't make me want it more. Going without sex longer does make me crave it more but her holding out just to hold out doesn't make me want it more though. If she wants to bone then we can bone. I'd only bone in a committed relationship though.

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  • It doesn't make a difference to me. A lot of women do sleep around and have one night stands but then play the waiting game when they meet a guy they want as a boyfriend and pretend to be innocent, so I don't even trust it.

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  • It doesn't really show that she doesn't sleep around because some girls will sleep around until they find a guy worth money or a good life partner.

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  • Speaking for myself, I could care less if we had sex. Don't get me wrong I'd love to. But when I get in a relationship I don't think with my other head first. I want to make sure there's a connection. That we can actually make conversation and keep each other interested

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  • Her waiting would make me desire her more--but not for the reason you think. Its not because i like "the chase". Its because her waiting shows me that she isn't a slut, and actually has some damn morals--which automatically increases her value and desirability to me.

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  • It really just depends on what kind of conditions are attached to the sex. The fewer the better -- the more compatible with mine, the better.

    I don't see why if two people can figure each other out quickly they ought not get right to it. But the confusion and the drama about how long and all this just comes down to this:
    Having sex with you is conditional. What the hell are your conditions?
    Believe it or not, so is having sex with him. What are his?
    Get it all out on the table and hash it out.

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  • Either I friend zone her or I move on.

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  • For me the reasons for holding out is important. If she is a girl that is clearly not ready for sex I won't push her. I won't love her more or less. And I won't leave her.

    If she is doing to play games that relationship is gone to moment I find out. I think in a similar situation a lot of guys will be gone after they had sex. It's because they feel like they are being trapped or conned into a relationship.

    So if you are in a situation like this let whatever it is be genuine.

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    • I have been on two dates with this guy so I'm not ready to have sex. I have kissed him and that got a little heated with his hands on my bum and stuff which I was okay with because I am insanely attracted to him but I'm not ready to have sex just yet
      I don't know how to say it though

    • Just say it like you are writing now.
      If he is the type of guy you wanna be with he'll appreciate it. He will know where he stands.

  • I like it when girls can be their natural selves with me, so I think we should have sex when you're comfortable with having sex, but if you're holding out on it just to seem like you are hard to get or that you dont sleep around, that's just fake and it makes me less interested in her since she likes to play dumb games like that.

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  • A woman wouldn't desire a guy more if he held out on kissing at first. Not that I'm saying he should wait a long period of time to want to kiss her or him letting her kiss him.

    Now I respect the fact that if she felt the time for sex just wasn't right, but if she held out too long, then I would have already moved on.

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  • Any girl can fake not being easy... and there are girls who aren't easy. What would make me want to stick around longer is her personality, wit, intellect, and how fun she is to be with. I wouldn't be thinking too much about how many guys she's slept with unless she projects a sexual image all the time.

    If I find out later on she's slept wiith like 50-100 dudes I'd be grossed out and don't know if I'd be able to continue seeing her.

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  • depends on the girl. if i know she's been around or put out fast i am insulted if she doesn't give it up easy. if she's a virgin or close to one then i dont mind waiting.

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  • Neither. If she's holding out sex as some type of reward she can kiss my a**. If she's doing it because of a moral stance, and she truly believes that stance is correct, then it depends on how I value her beliefs.

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  • I can wait for sex to be delayed. But pre condition is i will continue dating a nice girl if she doesn't hold back touches and kisses on the first TWO (2) dates. That's like pain in the ass dating such a structured person!

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  • i checked "no," but it doesn't piss me off. I just figure we are not compatible.

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  • There is no such thing as a 'nice' girl. All women have the potential to do a ONS if the right guy shows up at the right moment. Stop putting women on pedestals.

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  • I despise "the chase", and if you make me wait for no reason (or a reason like "playing hard to get"), I will lose interest.

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  • Yes, because it means that she has self-respect and and self-value. I love that in a woman.

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  • You all know my view of this. Sex after one month at the longest, or adios.

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  • It depends how long is the hold out. If she just keeps postponing it after a previous date set that's also a red flag for me and I'd move on.

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  • But if u make a guy wait for 3 months before u give up that ass he has every right to shootskeet in 2 mins ;)

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    • Ok serious answer, my last 3 exes we've done the waiting thing, hence gotten progressively shorter each time though
      2 months, 1 month, 2 weeks and my current girlfriend we had sex the night I asked her to be with me, and we've been together (and faithful) for 1yr 6 months, my longest relationship to date by far haha, I don't think waiting makes any positive difference

    • Theyve* not hence

  • i think holding out on sex is good because it show that you as a women have morels and hold your self to a more higher regard and is a women who deserves respect and is not some slut tramp ho etc. and wants to be treated more then just a sex object.

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  • Never had sex, but if I was in that type of relationship, then yeah, that would definitely make me desire her a lot more

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  • Neither of the poll options.

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  • I gain respect for girls like that

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