I can't be her friend anymore. Am I horrible for thinking this?

This girl and I used to go out on dates and we became really great friends over the year we have known each other. We sincerely care about each others well being and I feel she has some slight feelings for me but she has a boyfriend (who she hasn't told me about and keeps a secret from me).

I just can't be her friend anymore. If she is dating him, then so be it, but I have no interest in trying to keep our friendship when I want to be her boyfriend.

She recently moved away and we sent some text messages back and forth to each other before she moved to another state..

She was telling me "This isn't goodbye" and "I'll be seeing you" and I told her the odds aren't in our favor to remain as close as we are and she said "We will make them in our favor!"

Is it wrong for me to want to move on? I feel like a horrible person


Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely understand why you would feel that way. The odds aren't in your favor. Long distance relationships don't work out very often. If you don't think she's worth it, then don't go for it. If you REALLY like her, try out the long distance relationship thing. It doesn't hurt to try.

    • The thing is we aren't even in a relationship. She is dating some other dude, but is keeping it secret from me. I don't appreciate that at all. He is an amazing person but moving on, I feel is the only option.

    • Oh oops. I think you're probbaly right :( it's a sucky situation though.

    • Yeah, I'm pretty bummed out about this outcome but i feel its the only option. Thanks for your input

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not wrong of you to feel that way but if you don't want to be friends anymore tell her

    • You want me to tell her that I don't want to be friends? Why not just slowly phase her out?

    • Show All
    • That will cause a lot of pain for her and a lot of drama for me. Why not slowly stop talking to her and let the distance between us look like the cause of us not being friends?

    • Because you would be wasting both your time and taking the coward way out

What Girls Said 1

  • You're not horrible for thinking this. If you think you can't be her friend anymore, then tell her so.

    • If I tell her that will just cause so much drama and will hurt her. Is there anything wrong with slowly phasing her out and just moving on?

    • I prefer it when people are direct.
      You should just tell her that you still have feelings for her and it's difficult to maintain friendship with her. Tell her that she will always be person you cherish, but you just cannot be friends with her any more.

    • Dang, thanks for your input, I will think about it and see.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!