Have you ever dated someone who was a lower standard to you? What happened?

I am going to write a take about this. So have you dated someone who is a major downgrade to what you are used to just because you are pressured to 'give someone a chance? ' and to not have high expectations?

I have. And this is what happened:
- he kept borrowing money off of me and never giving it back
- was selfish
- never spoiled me once.
- i had to pay for everything every time I went out.

Basically, I was the man.

I will never date losers again.
So tell me, have you dated someone who was a trifling ass?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I never had because I never felt the pressure to give someone a chance. If she didn't cut it, she didn't cut it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • wow he was a huuuge waste of your time. i havee dated someone below my usual standards before, and he was almost as big of a loser as this guy. he claimed he had 3 jobs but then he actually tried to ask me to pay for him before. i literally laughed. i dont expect a guy to pay for me i can pay for myself, but dont expect me to pay for you especially after constantly bragging about having 3 jobs. ridiculous. his idea of a date was going to a fast food restaurant, and he tried to have sex in a bathroom! i was just dooooone. needless to say, this relationship didn't last long at all.

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What Guys Said 13

  • That is a very tough question to answer because basically it is determined by your terminology and your understanding of it.
    First things first, a disclaimer on the surface I try to stay away from thinking in terms of standards but I would be a total hypocrite if I said there wasn't some subconscious weighing up going on.
    I have made several wrong decisions when it came to dating by going against my gut instinct and knowing that I didn't "really feel it" but on the other hand I have being the other person where the girl didn't "really feel it".
    I have no qualms with the way you feel about dating the guy in your question but part of me thinks to put a blanket ban on certain types of guys is not the most constructive way either. What I mean is take each case as it comes, you never know what may happen, the very attractive successful guy could be a jerk and the slightly less attractive guy at first could have something special about him.
    I feel a cliché coming on sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get a prince. My advice would be to be more discerning about how you take the recommendations of your friends maybe get a bit of background on the guy and find out how he treated other girls he dated then weigh up the facts before making a decision. If it doesn't feel right then say no and if you feel anyway positive about it think why not, nothing ventured nothing gained - You can always walk away if it is not working out.
    An interesting point one of the responders made about the difference between "Giving Someone A Chance" and "Settling". I am afraid I am not a fan of Rom Com movies and don't believe you can make a relationship unless both people feel something at the start. I have been on both sides of unequal feelings and in the long run it is not good for both people. For whatever reason maybe feeling comfortable or being lonely people say "You never know something might happen later if we start something" - If you are good friends stay good friends if something is meant to happen it will happen, if feelings develop later during friendship great but they will not magically appear after the 356th kiss or the 19th time you sleep together.

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  • Yes I have a few times and it was a waste of time. I mean I never started a relationship with them but I just didn't feel much physical attraction as they looked nothing like their pictures.

    I mean I'm not superficial but if I don't have any physical attraction then it won't work out. Same goes for girls who are attractive but are very boring. I just felt that I was dating just for the sake of dating and to not be alone but still wasn't satisfied. I had to let them off nicely because I wasn't interested and they kept pursuing me. Not to sound arrogant by any means but is it really fair to date someone just because they said yes, when you know you don't feel it?

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    • Hey brother, no judgment there and don't ever let people make you feel down. Because at the end of the day, you have the right to choose who you want. I was in exactly the same situation just a couple of weeks ago. I mean, I was so lonely that I decided to date this guy. The whole time, I paid for shit. I felt like the man in the whole tryst. Even then I looked at myself and said 'what the fuck am I doing? '. But yeah loneliness clouds your judgment. You are not superficial and I have come to the realization that it is better to be alone than with someone who just does nothing for you.

  • I don't believe I have. I did go on a date with a girl in my senior year of high school, but it didn't work out as she had some mental and familial problems. I always give a woman a chance, whether she's a higher or lower standard to me - if only they can return the same respect.

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  • Some men unfortunately don't have a choice. You can have a guy who is the head ceo of a listed company and still not meet a girls standards. Hence high class escorts are used by these dudes. Again, I mentioned this before, a good player can be the most loser of guys but he just needs to project otherwise on the initial meeting and once you attracted, you are attracted. It will take time and hindsight to look back and learn.

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  • i can't really tell, honestly, i don't pay attention to social hierarchy, if i like a girl, i'll ask her out, albeit i'm not great at it, but still, i'll ask her out.

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    • Well you're a teen and have no money to your name. Honestly after yiu finish college and get a full time job, your view will change

    • Show All
    • Someone will be interested in you. You're a very handsome boy.

    • Thank you very much :)

  • I did once. He started stalking me. Definitely not making that mistake again.

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  • Welcome to what men experience every day, hopefully you'll be a little less demanding next time now that you've been in our situation. Split the bills.

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  • I have. I only did it because I was 18 and naïve about women, and she was insanely good looking. She was also insanely stupid. Huge waste of my time.

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  • Wow... he sounds like a cheap skate and you ended up supporting him... doesn't sound fun at all

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  • All my relationships were based on lower standards because all the Women I really want already have 3 boyfriends! lol

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  • You're a gold digger.

    Go date rich white old men.

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  • How yo date White girls

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  • Yes.
    It didn't work out as she didn't fit in with us and unfortunately felt out of place at Royal events and other social events I took her too.

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What Girls Said 6

  • If I did he didn't last very long. I try to date people who I connect with especially with regards to morals, ambition etc...

    But yes, I've run into a few guys that in my opinion we're going nowhere in life, and like I said, they didn't last long. 😉

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  • I tried and it was just not worth the time and effort.

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  • I gave all of the wrong guys a chance
    My standards weren't high enough. So I don't complain about the past. I own my choices and my own mistakes and hopefully have learned something
    The world is full of losers only too happy to glom onto someone who deserves better than them. It is a clue they are a loser in the first place.

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  • I "gave a guy a chance" who was in the friend-zone.

    It really depends on why the guy is a "downgrade". I thought my guy was a downgrade, but he wasn't. He was "unpolished".

    Some guys are assholes and just don't know how to care about anyone else. Others are socially awkward/unattractive, and appear to be a "downgrade", but have very pure hearts.

    My guy was socially awkward/unattractive, but he tried very hard to make me happy, and stepped up to the challenge that is myself.

    There is a difference between giving a guy a chance and settling: giving a guy a chance is looking past the little leisures like facial appearance, suavity with words, and quirks. Settling is accepting someone who doesn't respect/value you as a person.

    Don't confuse the two. There is a big difference.

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  • yeah, i had a date with a guy like that
    controlling and insecure af
    never again

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  • Oh yeah, I've been out with so many guys I wasn't into because I felt like I was "supposed" to give them a chance. Half of them were pricks who somehow thought being awkward or less attractive somehow made them nice people.

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