I am going to write a take about this. So have you dated someone who is a major downgrade to what you are used to just because you are pressured to 'give someone a chance? ' and to not have high expectations?
I have. And this is what happened: - he kept borrowing money off of me and never giving it back - was selfish - never spoiled me once. - i had to pay for everything every time I went out.
Basically, I was the man.
I will never date losers again. So tell me, have you dated someone who was a trifling ass?
wow he was a huuuge waste of your time. i havee dated someone below my usual standards before, and he was almost as big of a loser as this guy. he claimed he had 3 jobs but then he actually tried to ask me to pay for him before. i literally laughed. i dont expect a guy to pay for me i can pay for myself, but dont expect me to pay for you especially after constantly bragging about having 3 jobs. ridiculous. his idea of a date was going to a fast food restaurant, and he tried to have sex in a bathroom! i was just dooooone. needless to say, this relationship didn't last long at all.
That is a very tough question to answer because basically it is determined by your terminology and your understanding of it. First things first, a disclaimer on the surface I try to stay away from thinking in terms of standards but I would be a total hypocrite if I said there wasn't some subconscious weighing up going on. I have made several wrong decisions when it came to dating by going against my gut instinct and knowing that I didn't "really feel it" but on the other hand I have being the other person where the girl didn't "really feel it". I have no qualms with the way you feel about dating the guy in your question but part of me thinks to put a blanket ban on certain types of guys is not the most constructive way either. What I mean is take each case as it comes, you never know what may happen, the very attractive successful guy could be a jerk and the slightly less attractive guy at first could have something special about him. I feel a cliché coming on sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get a prince. My advice would be to be more discerning about how you take the recommendations of your friends maybe get a bit of background on the guy and find out how he treated other girls he dated then weigh up the facts before making a decision. If it doesn't feel right then say no and if you feel anyway positive about it think why not, nothing ventured nothing gained - You can always walk away if it is not working out. An interesting point one of the responders made about the difference between "Giving Someone A Chance" and "Settling". I am afraid I am not a fan of Rom Com movies and don't believe you can make a relationship unless both people feel something at the start. I have been on both sides of unequal feelings and in the long run it is not good for both people. For whatever reason maybe feeling comfortable or being lonely people say "You never know something might happen later if we start something" - If you are good friends stay good friends if something is meant to happen it will happen, if feelings develop later during friendship great but they will not magically appear after the 356th kiss or the 19th time you sleep together.
Yes I have a few times and it was a waste of time. I mean I never started a relationship with them but I just didn't feel much physical attraction as they looked nothing like their pictures.
I mean I'm not superficial but if I don't have any physical attraction then it won't work out. Same goes for girls who are attractive but are very boring. I just felt that I was dating just for the sake of dating and to not be alone but still wasn't satisfied. I had to let them off nicely because I wasn't interested and they kept pursuing me. Not to sound arrogant by any means but is it really fair to date someone just because they said yes, when you know you don't feel it?
I don't believe I have. I did go on a date with a girl in my senior year of high school, but it didn't work out as she had some mental and familial problems. I always give a woman a chance, whether she's a higher or lower standard to me - if only they can return the same respect.
Some men unfortunately don't have a choice. You can have a guy who is the head ceo of a listed company and still not meet a girls standards. Hence high class escorts are used by these dudes. Again, I mentioned this before, a good player can be the most loser of guys but he just needs to project otherwise on the initial meeting and once you attracted, you are attracted. It will take time and hindsight to look back and learn.
I gave all of the wrong guys a chance My standards weren't high enough. So I don't complain about the past. I own my choices and my own mistakes and hopefully have learned something The world is full of losers only too happy to glom onto someone who deserves better than them. It is a clue they are a loser in the first place.
I "gave a guy a chance" who was in the friend-zone.
It really depends on why the guy is a "downgrade". I thought my guy was a downgrade, but he wasn't. He was "unpolished".
Some guys are assholes and just don't know how to care about anyone else. Others are socially awkward/unattractive, and appear to be a "downgrade", but have very pure hearts.
My guy was socially awkward/unattractive, but he tried very hard to make me happy, and stepped up to the challenge that is myself.
There is a difference between giving a guy a chance and settling: giving a guy a chance is looking past the little leisures like facial appearance, suavity with words, and quirks. Settling is accepting someone who doesn't respect/value you as a person.
yeah, i had a date with a guy like that controlling and insecure af never again
Oh yeah, I've been out with so many guys I wasn't into because I felt like I was "supposed" to give them a chance. Half of them were pricks who somehow thought being awkward or less attractive somehow made them nice people.
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