Should I tell the guys I'm dating that I'm also meeting other guys?

The last thing I want to do is lead anyone on or hurt them or anything. Should I tell them though? I mean I am single and it's not like I'm particularly serious with any of them, so is it even necessary? I just don't want them to expect too much :/ how do I tell them?

  • You should tell them
    79% (26)69% (31)73% (57)Vote
  • You don't need to
    21% (7)31% (14)27% (21)Vote
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Updates:
I'm only meeting them on a friendly basis anyway, it's not like I've led them to think anything else tbh.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If it's only friendly encounters then their is no need to do so. But if things start getting closer to the romantic side, then you should make it known. Just so they know

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    • But if you do tell them, just be light about it and don't make it a big deal. Bring it up as a conversation topic like, "how long have you been in the dating game?" And when he asks you in return you can say, "I've just been seeing a few people over the past few months". Done.

What Guys Said 20

  • You don't have to do this unless you think a guy is getting too infatuated with you. Otherwise, if you make a point of saying this constantly, you will sound pretty conceited, and it will sound like you want the guy to make a BID for your time.

    You know, a lot of girls DO want guys to bid on them, so guys will think that's your game as well.

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  • Interesting that so many people say you should tell them. I voted you don't need to. Here's what I'm thinking:

    If you're just going on a date and doing friendly activities, you could be doing that with ANYONE. There's no expectation of exclusivity of any kind. On that basis, it's weird for them to have an issue with it, and if they do, they should ASK you if you are seeing other guys and if that's a problem for them they should ASK you if you'd like to be exclusive. Personally, I NEVER assume exclusivity until we've had an explicit conversation about it. And I wouldn't bother with that until there's something more sexual going on.

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  • As long as it doesn't become too serious, and it's just meeting each other and having a chat, I think it's okay. Better not to tell him since you may scare him off.
    It you get into the stadium where personal touch and kissing comes in, you'll have to stick to one guy otherwise it wouldn't be fair.
    I also wouldn't let this phase last for too long, if you feel really good with one guy it's better to stick with him otherwise it may be a big blow to him if after many dates he finds out he's second choice :-( :-(

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  • You'd probably be better off seeing one person at a time, but you should tell them and be honest with them. If you don't tell em they might think they are the only one, and then when they do find out they'll be more hurt then if you were just upfront with them, it's always good to be upfront with someone so that down the line they don't get hurt.

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  • Every guy who is not naive, should assume any girl he is dating but isn't monogamously with, is seeing other guys as well!

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  • by the way, good for you. People settle into exclusive relationships far too quickly. You are doing the right thing, dating a bunch of guys before become exclusive with anyone. When you do settle down, you will be making an informed choice.

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  • Yes you should absolutely tell them. When I'm dating a woman I assume I'm the only one so I'd like to hear if I'm not. I don't casually date.. If I date someone it's with the intention of it being something more if we have a connection.

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    • I've done that everytime and had my heartbroken, casual dating isn't usually for me either but I thought I'd try it

    • Well goodluck

  • I think you might be better off seeing one person at a time.

    If that won't work for you, though, then that's okay. Just be honest and tell them the truth if they ask.

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    • I did that and had my heartbroken everytime so I'm trying a different approach I guess :/

    • Awww well that's okay, if seeing one at a time isn't your thing then it's not your thing. No worries. :)

      If they ask, just tell them and be honest. :)

  • Yes absolutely... Other wise they will feel like you was playing them... And you will like everyone like that...

    But I tell you what you shouldn't be meeting any other guys... Anyway...

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    • And you should tell them because no guy would take any effort in you if you tell them that you are dating other guys too... Only one or two might because they may be OK with that...

      But if I was dating you I would not date you anymore...

      I don't care if we are seeing each other in a friendly way or what... You should tell them anyway

  • well you should make sure they know that it is just casual. Don't just assume that they feel the same way about you.

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  • That's fine. If you haven't become exclusive.

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  • Yeah, tell them, especially if you're not serious with any of them.

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  • You should just not meet other guys.

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    • Why shouldn't I? Once I find the one, I'll stop but until then I can keep my options open

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    • That's life, you get hurt, but be the better person and stop trying to force your life events. Just let them happen, otherwise you'll end up getting married and divorced for the rest of your life because you don't understand how a healthy relationship progresses.

    • @Gommers Thanks for the explanation :) I'm probably not the most experienced in dating so I learned a lot from that comment.

  • OMG! say them already that u are cheating, bitch, I mean c'moon they will discover it and it will be worse for you, better tell them, or they will find it themselves

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    • OMG! You're an ignorant fool! 👍🏻

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    • I'm seeing them on a friendly basis?

    • I don't know

  • If you want to make sure they no longer contact you, then go ahead.

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  • That's really fucked up

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  • I'd like to know if you are so I can promptly end things.

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  • I guess it depends how many dates you've been on with each of them, and whether you've got to kissing them and so on.

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    • First dates

    • Then I don't think you need to tell them at that stage, telling them that early on could sound boastful or like you enjoy the attention/being chased.

      If you get to seeing them for a few dates and you're still seeing more than one guy then maybe tell them.

  • you should at least tell him, but that's fucked. stick to 1 dude at a time. you're basically just using different guys and hoping 1 sticks. that's really not cool. yeah, you can keep your options open, but don't string a guy along thinking he has a chance with you when he has literally no control, especially without their knowing. how would you feel if you tried to impress a dude and he just left because he was secretly dating other women? and also, it just makes you seem like you're fine with basically cheating on guys as well. that's how trust issues develop.

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    • If I were in a relationship with someone I'd never dream of looking at anyone else. I'm literally only doing this because I've been hurt so much when I've devoted all of my attention to one guy, everytime.

    • yeah, but how is the guy supposed to know or believe that if you openly go after multiple guys from the start? also, that tells me a few things. 1 is that you don't have much problems of attracting guys in the 1st place so if it doesn't work out with a guy, you're screwed. 2 is that maybe you "seeing" other guys isn't actually dating as you think it is. like when people think hanging out means dating when it just means hanging out. 3 is that you probably get way too emotionally invested way too fast. 1 thing about being a dude is you learn to hope for the best and expect the worst or deal high aim low.

  • Yea if you fill the guy that your dating in that your meeting with other guys he'll probably do a lot less for you such as taking you out and stuff but its better that he knows so that he doesn't feel like he was being used as temporary stepping stone till you found what you were looking for.

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    • That's not what it is at all
      I'm just meeting them as friends really

    • Oh okay well if your just going on dates with male friends but your not in an exclusive relationship or not interested with any of them then i guess the guy wouldn't really need an explanation at all. But keep in mind that guys are always friends with a girl before they turn into a significant other. So if your just weighing your options it makes sense

What Girls Said 8

  • Guys don't like being led on... tell them that you're seeing other guys.

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  • Yes tell them so they are aware!

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  • Just tell them that you're not looking for anything exclusive and are exploring your options, and that you totally understand if they aren't cool with that.

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  • You do not need to tell them. It's their own problem if they get too attached or expect things from you. In my opinion, the sewing of other guys only needs to stop when you agree to be a couple

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  • let them know... and see how they'll react... but i bet this won't have a good outcome at all

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  • Yeah it might be better to let them know

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  • You honestly don't have to.

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  • No not really... most likely the guys that u are talking to are dating someone else too

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