How should I get him to think of me as a priority?

My boyfriend doesn't feel the need to open up to me about things in his life, even the mundane. For instance, he doesn't feel the need to "check in" with me, or at least keep in touch with me throughout the day.

The day before yesterday, we talked about hanging out the next day after he helped a friend out. I texted him earlier in the day and got this brief response (The kind that shows he's busy, maybe he's driving, etc.) It was short, and he didn't initiate anything. And then there was silence between us for the rest of the day. He didn't follow-up with me about not being to hang out that night. It's annoying because I feel like either he doesn't care (which he says he cares about me) or that he just didn't put much thought into my feelings.

How should I get him to think of me as a priority?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just express your feelings. That's it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A boyfriend should think of you as a priority at the start and throughout the relationship.

    If you feel like that has since stopped, ask him what's up? That you feel like he's distancing himself and would like to know if it has anything to do with something you've done, or if he's just really busy with things in his own life.

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    • He sucks at texting to begin with. Texting has always been a problem between us, simply because he generally just doesn't text. So maybe that's the problem. I'll talk to him about.

    • I also think he's just really busy with things in his own life. He's his own boss, and he has a lot on his plate, so he's been stressed out lately.

What Guys Said 1

  • Communication is a solvable issue, but only if both parties want to work on it. I don't agree with the person who said to just "express your feelings". That will cause a man to drift away. If you however propose the idea to him and he agrees and actively works on it, then that is a time to start expressing yourself... but gradually. If he doesn't want to work on it and doesn't make attempts, then that is something to consider breaking off a relationship for, because communication is FAR too important to overlook.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He texted you back earlier in the day so i think he still cares. Maybe he doesn't know that you like to know what he is doing all the time. Mention it to him in passing but try not and make a big deal out of it. Maybe he was busy though and didn't want to start talking to you if he couldn't finish the conversation.

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    • I'll try and do this. I don't think anyone wants to feel like they HAVE to check-in, so I'll try and make it clear without being aggressive that I enjoy hearing from him throughout the day.

      He probably was busy. He's generally really good about responding, especially more than one line responses.

  • I guess he just not that into u

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    • I don't think that's the case. In general, he's responsive, but as far as him initiating texts, ehh... he needs to work on that. He doesn't text much and has apologized for his texting before. I'm thinking that yesterday he was just really busy and didn't have a chance to reach out to me. It does suck, but it's something we'll work on together.

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    • My friend had the same idea. It would probably help me and my new relationship. So I'm not some mess.

      My last relationship was an open, communicative relationship. I had so much trust for him, and then he cheated on me. I was stupid enough to let him come back. He then cheated again.

    • sounds harsh!

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