Girls, is that a bad thing that I do not want kids?

My girlfriend wants kids, but I am not ready for this. I want to live life, travel, buy some luxuries (like ps4 and apple watch), and to hang with friends before they settle down. But, my girlfriend is against this, and will not let me have a ps4 (or Xbox one/wiiU). She is also against me hanging with my friends, and always snoops on my fb (i do not hide anything from her). What do I do?

I had to sneak in some consoles and play them when my girlfriend is at work/asleep. I also have to sneak out to hang with friends.

Updates:
I do not hate kids, but am not ready to take care of them yet

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing that you don't want kids, but if you know that you never want to have children, then it's bad to continue the relationship. If you're just not ready yet, then you need to stand up for yourself. Remind her that you need a social life that doesn't involve her, that it's not healthy to not be able to be with friends, and that you can still put money towards having a child but that you're both still very young. You have plenty of time. It's best to buy luxuries now than to leave it til when you can't afford it.

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What Girls Said 11

  • There's so much wrong going on in that situation.

    It hasn't even gotten to the point of whether or not you should have kids.

    You shouldn't.

    1. You think a ps4 is a luxury. That in and of itself tells me your financial situation.
    2. Your girlfriend snoops through your shit.
    3. She won't let you see your friends
    4. She is demanding children

    Anyone else see something wrong with this?

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    • Sorry, I mean that a PS4 is something I enjoy, and I will not have time or money to buy games/the ps4 (and other consoles) if I have a kid.

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    • I technically CAN afford it, but sideline it to other needs, and my girlfriend has her own cash.

      and feel that marriage and children will cut the funds and #of games for ps4 (and other systems and games too).

    • If you're more concerned about having money to spend on games, then I strongly recommend you don't ever get married or have children. The priorities are clearly not where they need to be to support a family, unless you have a DINK situation.

  • Well unless the plans to do some unsavory things to you in your sleep, there is nothing she can do about you not wanting to have kids. It sounds like you don't want kids right now from your explanation, but maybe later, but either way. No woman should ever pressure you to have kids. That's not having kids for the right reasons, and it will only lead to fights, resentment, and bitterness in the future. You are young, and even if you weren't, kids are a huge commitment, financially and otherwise. Trust me after they are born, you aren't going to be getting that PS4 or watch any time soon! You have got to put on your big boy pants and go and have an honest and real conversation with her about the possible children situation, and make it clear at this moment in time, it is really non-negotiable. If she is persistent with it, and keeps bringing it up continuously after that, you may want to consider letting her go b/c she and you just may be at seriously different places in your life right now and one doesn't usually hold on for the other without major constant conflict.

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  • I understand not wanting kids, seeing as how I switch back and forth about wanting them constantly. There is a certain amount of life you have to give up while raising them, but that doesn't mean it has to stop. It just will be different. I want to travel unencumbered as well, but I also think it could be extremely rewarding to share the world with my offspring and experience life through their eyes.

    I understand wanting financial security before having kids, but if your objective is just to stock up on "toys" rather than toys, it may be better for you not to have them.

    To me, it sounds like you are still leaving the option open to have children (you still have plenty of time), but one thing is apparent: this girl is NOT the one to do it with. You might want to break things off with her ASAP. She sounds too much like a child to even think about having one. Snooping? Granting permission for a GROWN MAN to come and go and purchase things? Yeah, run, bro.

    You'd only be a jerk if you lead a girl on to believe you want a kid but then later don't. We only have so many good years in us. Don't make her waste them on you if you aren't sure.

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  • I would hate this kind of life you are describing! I feel for you. She is being really controlling, and you need to grow a pair and tell her that you are an adult and shouldn't have to be sneaking around, just to see your friends or play your video games. Everyone needs to relax at the end of the day, if you find that playing games does this for you, then don't let her stop you.

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  • Dude, do you wanna have kids in the future?

    If the answer is maybe/let's see/no, then be direct about it to your girlfriend.

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  • She sounds like a possessive control freak. Get out while you still can because you don't sound comparable.

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  • It's not a bad thing, there are plenty of girls who don't want kids, it's just easier if you and your partner both want the same things.

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  • Your life, your choice. Not bad at all.

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  • No nothing is wrong with that. I never want kids

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  • If you were my friend, I would honestly ask you why you're still with her
    You can do better and you're in different life stages

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  • I wouldn't stay in that relationship for too long. because the sneaking and going out will increase. You will feel regretful because you didn't do what YOU wanted to do. She needs to understand you can't force things on people unless she did get pregnant. If you arn't ready you arn't because you'll eventually break out whether it be today tomorrow or 20 years from now. Life is short be honest

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    • wanting to feel that freedom

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