Is it Wrong For a 19 Year Old to Date a Barely 16 Year Old?

I'm 19 going on 20 and I have a huge crush on a barely 16 year old girl at my Church. We're Orthodox. I'm a college freshman and she's in high-school.

Should I ask her out on a date or is the age difference too great? It's not like I would have sex with her or anything--I'm too traditional for that--and I've known her family for about 4 years despite hardly ever talking to her due to shyness.

I like her because not only is she ridiculously cute, but she's surprisingly very mature, nice, and also a big sister just as I'm a big brother. We have that firstborn similarity. She makes me happy inside.

Should I purchase her a gift for the holidays like fancy chocolate? Would it be wrong if I asked her out? Should I ask her parents first or would that make things awkward? Is it normal to be attracted to her? After all, age gaps were very common less than 100 years ago.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You may want to wait until she's 18 to date her just in case. Not saying you can't be affectionate with her and casually date or something, but some people may look down on you having a relationship with her.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Leave her alone. You're an adult. She's a child. This isn't an issue of age gaps or what was Smdone in the past. It's a matter of an adult wanting to be involved with a child.

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    • No offense, but is it any different than the 18 year old High School guys who go after 15 year old freshman girls because they're easier to get into bed? That seems to be socially accepted, though at least in my case I wouldn't be having sex with her at all, we're both rather traditional and reactionary being Russian Orthodox, and I've known her family for about 4 years.

    • That would be wrong too in my opinion.

      If you've known her for four years what's wrong with waiting 2 more?

  • i think it is. Maybe you can wait a few more years.

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  • I don't think it's wrong specially considering that you are not going after sex!!! You should go ahead and tell her how you feel about her!

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  • I don't see anything wrong with it, your intentions are in the right place. Asking her parents would be the way to go, seeing as you've known her family for 4 years. I'm sure that they would seeing as you go to church and have values they approve of

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  • Hey ! I think you should honestly ask her parents out of respect. You are older then her I think they would see you more as a gentleman. Go for it and best of Luck 😊

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  • Hey man, if you like, don't let that age gap stop you, it's nothing at all in the grand scheme of things

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    • wel... statutory rape. Her parent's will likely not be down with it.. and they can file a statutory rape case if they find out you guys are having sex...

      I wouldn't ever date someone under 18, not okay to have sex with a girl under 18. Then there's the not having sex part, if you can wait 3 years go for it.

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    • @Ferretman21 I wouldn't have sex with her I'm a virgin. I'm a really traditional somewhat reactionary guy.

    • It's all cool then. I told myself the same things almost... minus the waiting till marriage like you're likely gonna do.

      I told myself I'd only sleep with someone I knew, someone I knew didn't have STD's blah blah, and I go out meet a girl the first day and have sex with her, losing my virginity to a one night stand.

      I always told myself I'd never do that, was serious about it. You never know what will happen, just in your case it will be way worse with her being under age.

      I think it will be okay tho. Just.. never be alone with her, or you guys will get kiss, kiss again, then the clothes magically come off before you know it.

  • It's not worth going to jail wait

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  • A sixteen year old is just a baby. Let her grow a few more years. You might not think it makes a difference, but it does. As someone who's been burned bad because I had an - almost 19 year old boyfriend when I was 15, I'm asking you to be the responsible adult and let her grow up first. That way, it will be easier for both of you.

    Just because age gaps were very common a 100 years ago (and still are in some parts of the world) doesn't mean it should be that way.

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What Guys Said 6

  • If 16 is legal in your state then go for it.

    If not just be that older guy friend but talk to women your own age. It will look creepy if you are prioritizing a high schooler.

    If not to her it will to her friends and family. Girls are attracted to people who have lives and, yes, guys other girls find interesting/attractive.

    No, there is nothing morally wrong with this situation but you are making her out to be a little too special when regardless of her good qualities she is still 16. Which by definition makes her more boring than a women.

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  • It's cool as long as you aren't having sex

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  • its not normal nowadays, I find age difference is weird the younger you are... its not as weird if a 20 year old and a 24 year old were going out as to a 16 and 20 year old.. maybe talk with there parents first? or even wait?

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    • Thanks mate, that's what I was thinking: asking her parents first if I really can't wait. It doesn't seem wrong to me, especially since we wouldn't be having sex, but just extremely taboo to the extent that we would both probably be very looked down upon by outsiders.

    • hey man, fuck people there's people out there that are like 20 years apart. if someone makes you happy, you should be with that person

  • legally yes it is wrong

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  • I've seen stuff like this on a Doctor Phil episode :/

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  • As long as she is of the age of consent... The age difference might be a problem relationship-wise.

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