Sadness in Dating?

I'm kind of late entering the dating scene, but these past few months were my first foray. There was this girl in my university class that, after two months, I finally got the courage to ask out. We ended up going on two dates

over the final two months of semester. I've tried seeing her over break and during the new semester, but she always made excuses to not see me, so I concede that she's not interested.

I don't see her at university anymore, but I still feel disappointed that nothing more came out of it because I thought there was potential there. What I had in mind for the third, fourth dates seemed like they were going to be fun and pretty special. Alas, they didn't happen.

I still think about her when I go to class, especially, and there's a pang of sadness sometimes. I tell myself that I did pretty well for my first time and that she wasn't someone I could see myself being long-term with anyway. So I try to forget her, but I'm having a strange feeling that I don't want her to forget me. Obviously, she has forgotten me because she has called or seen me for the past couple months. She seemed like she was experience in dating so that probably made it easy for her to forget me.

I think I just need some encouragement from people that this is just how dating is; that if it doesn't work out, you'll feel a little emotional about it. I don't want to drown in misery. I want to know if it's just natural to feel like this about someone you didn't have a true relationship with; I find myself dwelling on what could've been and what actions I could have taken/changed to make it work.


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What Girls Said 1

  • i feel you that it's hard. but just know that heartbreak happens all of the time and it's just a matter of time before someone new comes along. if she didn't love you back the way you loved her or liked or whatever then just know that it was never meant to be. just keep moving forward but it's okay to feel bad for a little while.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't worry, it is completely normal to be upset over someone even if you don't have a relationship. In your mind you are thinking of a great relationship with the person, and having that idea crushed will cause most people to be upset.

    You can't dwell on what could have been, and what you could have done to make it work, because often there is no real answer, no one can predict the future. As long as you were yourself during those dates, that's all any date should really ask for, and that's all you should be giving the person. If it didn't work out, then it just didn't work out, and there is no reason to blame yourself for it. Different people are attracted to different things, just because you two were not compatible, doesn't mean you won't be with someone else.

    Hope I helped. Good luck.

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    • Thanks. I was myself on the dates, so it kind of hurts that "the real me" was rejected.

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