What's the difference between playing games and hard to get?

Something that has always baffled me, at what point do you saying hard to get has passed into playing games? I mean playing hard to get is in itself is a game, but a game with some intent, as I think it's a game where the person is actually trying to be caught, while playing games there is no intent to be caught.

Would you agree with this? More importantly, when do you consider hard to get passing into games, i. e. based on response times, behavior, setting up dates, and so on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There no different they are just playing games!

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    • I agree, that they're both a type of game, the base question I have really is one more acceptable than the other? I mean I find so many of my female friends, say that most of the time if they're just immediately hooking up with a guy, it's lust and a fling, nothing more, but if they're interested in a guy they play hard to get. The question is how does a guy (I don't think guys do hard to get as much, unless they read some PUA nonsense) then identify the difference between the two?

      Female friends commented to them, they'll still reach out right before they feel it's become a breaking point (no more than a couple of weeks of radio silence) and they'll still make sure they're invested into the person's life - whether it's remembering small details, asking about personal affairs or taking/opening up about their personal life just a little bit more while retaining an air of mystery.

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    • So you're saying you don't really consider it hard to get when you're doing it, because if you are it's because you're still in the getting to know each other process (let's say courtship - old fashioned but I guess perfectly applicable here).

      Just trying to understand what you said correctly!

    • Yes I am just trying to get to know u... not like play a werid game or anything or chase.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly both are the same to me lol

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    • Copied from my other comments:

      So you think they're both one and the same? I mean I know they're both at type of game, but I find so many of my female friends, say that most of the time if they're just immediately hooking up with a guy, it's lust and a fling, nothing more, but if they're interested in a guy they play hard to get. The question is how does a guy (I don't think guys do hard to get as much, unless they read some PUA nonsense) then identify the difference between the two?

      Female friends commented to them, they'll still reach out right before they feel it's become a breaking point (no more than a couple of weeks of radio silence) and they'll still make sure they're invested into the person's life - whether it's remembering small details, asking about personal affairs or taking/opening up about their personal life just a little bit more while retaining an air of mystery.

    • I just prefer blunt and honest people. If a woman was playing hard to get just to make someone jealous or whatever I wouldn't respect that so it equates to playing games to me.

What Girls Said 2

  • I consider playing hard to get a form of playing games too. It's all just part of the mind games designed to either boost one's ego or lead someone on "for fun".

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  • hard to get: eventually, you want the person to get you
    playing games: you aren't really interested, you don't know what you want, so you're just making people run in circles

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    • Well how do you know where you stand in each scenario before you've actually caught the person?

      So let's say you have a scenario, it seems like you make small progress and then the person goes cold, then you make a little more progress then person goes cold, and so on.

      For example: There's expressed interest from both parties, you start talking and it builds up, then they go pull back, but then come back (say minutes to maybe at most a couple of weeks later, obviously not something ridiculous like a month or two months down the line), but then it picks up again, then they pull back again, but they leave door the open, it's never a no, but it's not a yes either.

      Then how would you know since you haven't caught the person? (The key distinction I make is they're coming back and they're still interested in you as a person or your life, while also being open about theirs, if it's one sided then I assume playing games automatically)

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    • So to you the key distinction between the two is: they're coming back and they're still interested in you as a person or your life, while also being open about theirs, if it's one sided then I assume playing games automatically?

      So would you say that's the only way to know before you've actually caught them?

    • That's what i think... but i can't really say if that's the truth in your situation... i would assume the person is genuinely interested if they keep the line of communication open

What Guys Said 4

  • I hate all that shit with a fiery passion lol

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    • I agree to an extent, most of the time it's annoying but as I've gotten older I just let it happen in the background and focus on other things, till the person comes around and I show them I am not phased by all this. The question still stands though, how do YOU tell the difference?

  • Different people has different meaning / definition of the difference, it's almost impossible to know what a person is up to unless you ask them / confront them :P.

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    • Well confrontation is a bit strong in the early stages, and it makes you seem extremely controlling I would say. So then I would ask what's it mean to you?

    • Not like mean confrontation :P, like teasing, traps, kind of confrontation. lel

    • Cos if no valid truth is ain't said, it's just really hard, it's like some people are just extremely friendly like me and people kinda think 'I am flirting' though I personally don't like them, there's also people who is shy... and looks like they like people, when they are just a shy person on meeting someone new. and so on etc etc etc of people. You can't know.

  • There isn't a difference. Both results from someone not being true to their intentions, hiding their feelings towards someone. Fearful of being judged when they show affection.

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    • So you think they're both one and the same? I mean I know they're both at type of game, but I find so many of my female friends, say that most of the time if they're just immediately hooking up with a guy, it's lust and a fling, nothing more, but if they're interested in a guy they play hard to get. The question is how does a guy (I don't think guys do hard to get as much, unless they read some PUA nonsense) then identify the difference between the two?

      Female friends commented to them, they'll still reach out right before they feel it's become a breaking point (no more than a couple of weeks of radio silence) and they'll still make sure they're invested into the person's life - whether it's remembering small details, asking about personal affairs or taking/opening up about their personal life just a little bit more while retaining an air of mystery.

    • You have to rely on instinct really. Frankly I don't tolerate any of them. I immediately show disinterest if I feel a woman is 'playing hard to get' or 'playing games.'

      I say it like it is. "I think you're cool and you have potential. I find you highly attractive. If you want to spend time with me perfect. If not get the hell out of my way and stop wasting my time."

      Just the general idea really, may not necessarily be as blunt as that.

  • There is no difference.

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    • Copy and pasted from Words_and_Wisdom comment:

      So you think they're both one and the same? I mean I know they're both at type of game, but I find so many of my female friends, say that most of the time if they're just immediately hooking up with a guy, it's lust and a fling, nothing more, but if they're interested in a guy they play hard to get. The question is how does a guy (I don't think guys do hard to get as much, unless they read some PUA nonsense) then identify the difference between the two?

      Female friends commented to them, they'll still reach out right before they feel it's become a breaking point (no more than a couple of weeks of radio silence) and they'll still make sure they're invested into the person's life - whether it's remembering small details, asking about personal affairs or taking/opening up about their personal life just a little bit more while retaining an air of mystery.

    • Both are playing games with the guy's head, period. I would not want anything to do with a woman who would play head games like that. If she is interested, she should show it, just like he does.

      If she does this: "they'll still reach out right before they feel it's become a breaking point"

      I do this: "buh bye"

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