Do you date someone until you get a better offer?

Suppose the person you're dating just isn't the one for you, would you continue dating them until you get a better offer? What would you tell them?

Updates:
I never stated relationship - I simply stated "dating".
I know plenty of people who "date up the ladder" - the question is whether they stick with the person/people they're currently dating until they get a better offer. I've seen plenty of women "use" their current date's status and connections to meet more people.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If they weren't the one for me, I would definitely continue dating but I would make sure to let them down gently, explaining carefully why it isn't going to work out while still being respectful towards them as a person. However, I would have to be absolutely sure that this person wasn't the one for me. I'm not one to make rash decisions. I have to think about things extensively before I do them.

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What Girls Said 28

  • I don't date casually. So, this wouldn't be an issue for me. I would only agree to date someone if I like them and then if I later feel like they aren't the one for me, I would stop dating them. I wouldn't string them along until I get a "better offer." That's just rude.

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  • I wouldn't date someone I'm not truly interested in in the first place, I'd rather be single than string someone along just to avoid feeling lonely. I'm not a complete asshole. That's how you ruin people. This is why people have trust issues and insecurities, because other people play with their feelings.

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  • That is so mean... what if the person you are with really likes you and gets the wrong idea about where your relationship is headed? And then as soon as a "better offer" comes along, you're just going to leave?

    How could you do something like that to someone?
    If you know that the relationship isn't going to work out, you shouldn't just bide your time, you need to tell her immediately and have a conversation about it. It's so wrong to hide and lie about the state of your relationship just so you aren't alone, and it's kind of pathetic honestly.

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  • No, it isn't right to treat people as place holders. Other people are not here for your enjoyment. As a way to pass the time with. Do not waste their time and lead them on if they think they have a future with you. Everyone need to realize people have actual feelings. Not just your own feelings matter but theirs do too. Have respect and treat others like how you want to be treated.
    If the other person is aware you just want to date and nothing serious then it is fine. Be up front and honest.

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  • Ohh no, I don't play with people like that.

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  • I would tell them that I might like someone else. But if I am in a relationship I just stay in a relationship!

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  • No, I would date someone if and until I realize it isn't working out. I wouldn't drop someone because a "better offer" came into my life.

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  • If I don't like someone, I don't keep them around until a replacement comes along.

    Don't like = don't date.

    Simples.

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  • If they aren't 'the one' for me or I don't think they are for some reason, I wouldn't even start dating them in the first place..

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  • I feel a little like I am currently doing this. We both know it over. But we have lived together so long, we just haven't done the splitting of the stuff and moving out.

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  • As someone who never wants to get married, and gets itchy thinking about commitment, I'm not opposed to this mindset.

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    • You don't have to get married or be committed, but if you know it isn't working with the person you're with, and you know you want to date someone else, you're seriously just going to string them along and wait for a "better" offer?
      That seems so cold and insensitive... you should be up front about it.

  • If I date someone its because I am genuinely interested in what that person is or has to offer. I dont play games or lead people on

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  • No, that's a waste of everyone's time.

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  • I only date people I'm really into. I don't date casually and I think people who do this are really mean :/

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  • If he isn't for me then we wouldn't be in a relationship to begin with. That's called settling. Which isn't fair to either of us. I'd rather wait for someone that is for me.

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  • That's not how I date people. If I get into a relationship with someone (presuming that's what you meant), I plan to build something with them. I wouldn't be with someone if I didn't think we'd last.

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  • No, I wouldn't be dating him if I had thought that he wasn't the one for me. I'm only interested in dating someone if I can see us working out in the long run.

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  • no. I get bored and/annoyed with guys pretty fast and end it before it even gets anywhere. :/

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  • Nope, wouldn't date if that's the case.

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  • no ew thats gross and so disrespectful

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  • No what kind of shit is that why intentionally hurt someone?

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  • I don't, because it's a waste of time.

    When I'm just dating and not exclusive with anyone, I'm often dating multiple guys to see who I really like, and I don't keep dating the ones I don't think are a good match. It wouldn't make sense in that scenario - that time could be spent getting to know someone I might actually be interested in instead.

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  • I wouldn't leave someone because I got someone better or a better offer. I'd be with someone to begin with because they were the best I could get and be with and therefore couldn't find anyone better

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  • I don't do that. It's probably one of the reasons I am not considered "normal".

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  • i will continue dating but if i see feeling are becoming to deep i would stop.

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  • When I realize that the relationship isn't good for me, I gotta escape. I can't stay in a relationship that's bad for me. Even if I can't tell right away. I don't just stay in a relationship just to avoid being single or anything. I'd rather be single and wait for love then stay in a bad relationship. Like right now I need to escape, stop talking to this guy, going back to ignoring him and I need to find a way to talk to his mom and tell her I'm not gonna come over anymore and maybe tell her to leave me alone ha.

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  • No, if I am not into them, I stop going on dates with them. Usually this can be figured out in three dates, though occasionally a little longer if you like a lot about someone, but they have a big red flag/trait you aren't sure about.

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  • "Sorry, it's not working out. I think we should date other people". I might date someone until I get a better offer, because liking that other person may give me the reality check that I need to leave the bad relationship.

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What Guys Said 23

  • It is completely natural for an individual to remain in a relationship long after they've discovered their partner is not the right person for them.

    In such an instance we remain open to offers we perceive as better even if for the majority of us don't find it before returning to a single life.

    We do it because we grow comfortable in relationships, even those that are unhealthy, and because we fear the uncertainty of what may or may not be in our future.

    I'm calling it... anyone who answered with absolute denial is being dishonest.

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    @Tenxx

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    • I think you're talking about something different, dude

    • Show All
    • I'm in this situation now as it turns out 😂
      I dunno if she is right for me

    • call me out if you want. how can i be in denial about something i have experienced and not done? i've been single at times and been asked out by girls, even encouraged by friends to "have fun" and i've rejected those advances every time.

      for me dating is a means to an end (the end being marriage). if i don't see the "end" with a person i'm not going to date them just for the fun of it. i'd rather be single OR (and i've only done this once) just be friends with benefits

  • I don't lead girls on. I've been lead on 3 times. It's not nice. I'm picky with who I call my girl. I'm not gonna make the same mistake twice. I keep the doors locked. I only open them if I feel she is right for me. If I'm not interested nothing progresses further that chat.

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  • if the person i'm dating isn't the one for me... i don't continue dating them

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  • No. At that point, I'd just be filling a void. I'm not going to waste my time or hers if that's what I'm feeling. I would just tell her that I didn't see it working out.

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  • No. I break up whenever I decide that the relationship isn't working and can't work.

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  • No.. if I felt we weren't compatible I would leave her instead of stringing her along. I wouldn't just keep her going until I got a fresh new option.. That's fucking cruel and immoral to me.

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  • Oh man that's just bad, it's like a job.. Do you at least give her a two weeks notice? Lol

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  • I feel like you shouldn't have dated at all if you're gonna look for someone better
    Answers mine?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1785871-please-help-does-she-like-me-what-should-i-do

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  • No I wouldn't. You're wasting their time and it'll end with them feeling used. So what you should do is break up with them and say something like that other person said. Clean and simple.

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  • Most of the time, the girl would break up first, on the grounds of "not being compatible"

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  • If I'm with someone and I love her, then there's no such thing as a "better offer."

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  • I bet the girls do this more than they will let on

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  • I think it only makes sense for girls to do that. But I personally wouldn't do it.

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  • No, because that's so... boorish.

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  • That would be leading someone on bad move

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  • I have actually thought this before... I am interested in the results.

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  • if they ain't for me I wouldn't date them

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  • I feel as if an action such as this would be indecent and dishonest.

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  • No i don't play someone's heart

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  • haha fuck sake... ask my ex Nina...

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  • nah i can't lie to myself like that

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  • If it's women then the answer is always yes besides female responses.

    "
    hypergamy
    Evolutionary Psychology theory on the instinctual desire of humans of the female sex to discard a current mate when the opportunity arises to latch onto a subsequent mate of higher status due to the hindbrain impetus to find a male with the best ability to provide for her OWN offspring (already spawned or yet-to-be spawned) regardless of investments and commitments made to a current mate.

    As societal impediments (both economic and cultural) to the recission of binding monogamous relationships deteriorate, the validity of this theory is being rediscovered to the chagrin of men in the trenches and to the delight of the new social engineers up in the towers."

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  • It will only mean you're wasting your time.

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