HI, I've been dating this 38 year old guy for over 3 months. Things have been good. He works a lot and I have school and work so we communicate a lot by texting and calling between our dates. I've met his daughter and he has met mine. I've also met his coworkers (surgents) when they were at a pub. We were going to meet eachother there. I met him and we sat there for a couple of hours. I noticed one day that he was extremly busy (he would tell me he had a lot to do and that he was stressing). I started reciving only god morning messages so I didn't contact him as much. After a week of almost no communication i text from him Sunday night telling me he misses me and misses our talks. I told him i felt the same. And then didn't hear anything. On wendsdayn I texted him that I understand you have a lot on your mind and need to focus on that right now and that I want you to do that. But when you go silent on me without telling me why you hurt my feelings. Im not mad or anything I just want you to know how that feels. So I will leave you alone (this is the part i f*? k up), just wanted you to know why I won't text you :) I basically told him that Im breaking up without reading my text back to myself!! I was trying to be sweet!! Not breakup with the guy... So he text back that "Im sorry, I dont want you to feel that way". Stupid me didn't notice anything wrong so I write back: No worries, Im good :) It was until later I read the message and found out what an idiot I am. So i tryied to call him, no answer. I texted him explaining myself. And he wrote back that Yeah he misunderstood then. He also said that he is very sad after he read my message and that he left town for the weekend and his phone was out of service. He also said that he misses me but his head is in caos after the message. He said he would call me after work last night, but i got a message late last night telling me he had such a bad day at work and had no energy. He didn't call.
My question is what to do?
The thing was that we were daiting for 2 months when he suddenly told me that we should have the talk about if we should pursue this to being something more. And that he really like me and wants to move forward. But that we should talk about it face to face soon (not now). And then this happend, i told him that my message came across wrong and that I just wanted to give him space not that i wanted to end it. He said he understands now what I mean. But his gone cold on me...
Jared__ sorry for that. But i knew guys would be all over this :) Sneaky snake :)
It did take him back a bit in the beginning. But you did clarify your actual intentions soon after wards. It prolly hurt him some initially but was released that you weren't ending the relationship. Give him time to get back from where ever he went and meet up. It will be ok , don't be so down on yourself
This is why you never, ever text anything important. Also never text it if you can possibly speak on the phone or, better yet, in person.
Call him and ask him to call you when he can. Make the subject of that conversation finding a time when the two of you can actually sit down and talk. Whenever it is. Then do it, be honest, be yourself, say you were sorry for communicating badly--even though you both did it--and say you'd like to spend more time with him, and move forward.
Was it ever a proper relationship in the first place? He didn't seem too bothered by the texts really, if that was me and I really liked the girl then I'd have rang her straight back after your message to talk properly and not just write a lame message. If he was really in to you then he would fight for it and I don't think he did enough at all. Maybe best to leave it and find a guy that will treat you right and make time for you and not just a good morning message now and then.
Your thirty you need to grab a hold of any lifeboat before the titanic (your life) sinks.
1- fuck you for not actually being a star wars question. 2- never text anything important over texts. it never goes over well. too much shit that goes wrong 3- always talk about important stuff face to face. makes your life a lot easier 4- general rule of thumb, if he needs you, he'll text you, especially if i'm busy. just talking is fine, but if it's explained he's busy, then chances are he's actually busy. that's my philosophy. i don't contact people (even friends and family) unless i have something i need from them or have a reason to talk to them.
Save yourself a lot of hurt. I've been here twice and never again. If a guy does nothing but text, he's messing you around, he's not communicating, he's not making an effort. I get that some people are busy but nobody is that busy.