How can I get my girlfriend to thoroughly listen and understand how I feel?

Whenever my girlfriend and I have a disagreement, I always give her respect and let her say how she feels about the matter at hand. When it's time for me to communicate how I feel, she interrupts me and calls me a liar. The thing is, I don't get loud with her or anything like that. If I said that something she did made me feel a certain way, she goes off and says, "You're just playing the victim!" or "Stop reversing things on me!" I don't point fingers at her. She communicated about how something I did or didn't do made her feel and I stay quiet and let her have the floor. I don't interrupt nor do I accuse her of pointing fingers or being the "victim". She just has to be right about everything and it seems like what she says matters and what I say doesn't. How can I get her to listen to me without her being rude and saying crazy stuff?

*No, I'm not being a punk. I'm just not about to disrespect her.*


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend is just like ur girlfriend , all u can do is be patient sit her down and tell her sincerly that it hurts u how she acts that u would like if she tries harder to understand how u feel cuz thats what a relationship is about. Otherwise it will make u split which i guess both of u dont want , dont worry there will be a soft side of her cuz she loves u , she can't be always cruel and cold l ( im saying that cuz its how my boyfriend is , just cold ) but when i talk calmly his soft side comes out and it finishes pretty good but dont expect her to change right away or forever cuz maybe she won't change at all and ur situation will continue so u have to be patient :)

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    • This girl right here is spot on. I would have said the same thing but she beat me to it. If you want it to work out with this woman than listen to @pinkbubble. Good luck!

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    • @DessieDoo @pinkbbble Thanks you two! I'm doing my best to be patient.

    • You are welcome and good luck to u

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are in a one sided relationship. I was like that with my ex. Whenever she is upset I need to stay there all night if she wanted, I was even supposed to call out of work if she wasn't feeling "better" by morning. When I needed emotional support, I was "weak" or she just laughed at me. She always had to be right just like your girl. The truth is she IS playing the victim and just like mine she IS trying to manipulate you. She is very narcissistic, self centered and uses projection (she accuses you of things SHE does). How can you get her to listen to you? You can't she has SERIOUS psychological problems. Get out now before she hurts you even more. Also, there is a high chance she is already cheating on you.

    DUMP her, find a woman who loves and respects someone other than herself!

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What Girls Said 4

  • You need to interrupt her, and tell her that it's your turn to speak, and that she has had a opportunity to speak. If she continues to do this, tell her that you feel that she doesn't respect how you feel. if she continues, then I would suggest telling her that the conversation is going nowhere, and you are shutting it down before regretful words are spoken. ( this is where you need a timeout from each other). Than approach her at a later time, when you are both calm. But seriously, if this is an ongoing issue that you can't overcome, than you need to reevaluate your relationship.

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  • I'd break it off with her. My dads been stuck in that kind of relationship for fifteen years. I only see what he's really like when he's away from her for a few hours and able to be a little more carefree (so long as she doesn't text or call him)

    Don't turn into what my dad is like. Let her know the problem so she can work on it if she decides and get out. That's all you can do.

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  • four words of advice buddy: MOVE THE FUCK ON!

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  • uhhh you guys don't suit each other xD. she's the stubborn type who'll never accept defeat, so best thing is that if you're fed up with her behavior, break it off

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What Guys Said 5

  • This seems to be a personality characteristic for her and I doubt it will change, so unfortunately you must accept her as she is, or move on.

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  • Tell her "I really shouldn't be telling you this because it's so personal, but I only trust you with this personal information".
    That line is actually suggested in a psychology text book and works in many situations.

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  • You can't make her.
    Just like you can't make me.

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  • If your girlfriend is interested in how you feel, there is a deeper problem there.

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  • What are you a girl?

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