bare with me please

basically, were both into each other and have openly admitted to being stupidly attracted to each other, but he's away at a dif school and doesn't want a relationship right now. i fell hardcore over him for almost 7 months, but now its turned into physical lust and no longer emotional.

he's only home in December for the Christmas holidays and then for a few months of the spring and summer and we want to see each other during that time. we've never specifically said that were going to end up hooking up , but i know that it will happen the minute we see each other again and he knows it to. its kinda an unspoken expectation i find. its been a year since weve seen each other and we've wanted to see each other the whole time, but things happened and timing was off, so obvi there's some built up tension here that needs releasing (at least on my part lol).

anyways, i just started dating this guy, who is super sweet, but hasn't made any physical advances on me yet and im not sure if i see him romantically or as a friend. even though im seeing this one guy, i dream about the other guy (like sex dreams and stuff). my body craves him and im kinda at a cross road right now.

being that im a virgin, having a friends with benefits thing is not something im familiar with, nor am i 100% sure is right for me. i know that i will enjoy my time with him and that i will finally be relieved of my sexual frustration haah but im worried that i may start developing feelings for him again. i dont think i will because i know he's not looking for comittemnt right now, but we both like each other so i dont see a problem with it. my problem is that if i were to do this, i dont know how id bring it up to him and keep it from my parents (live at home with them). due to our past, my parents think i dont communicate with him anymore, but they dont know that i still talk to him.

so the question is, is asking him to be friends with benefits a bad idea or should i do it because in all honesty, my body is crazy for him and it just needs release


What Guys Said 1

  • This sounds like an incredibly bad idea. You are a virgin, have no experience and want to go into a friends with benefits for lust-reasons alone.

    This screams for disaster and emotional breakdown.

    • i know :( but how do i get over my body's attraction for him.

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    • no man has evr made me so horny lmao hahahhaha its pathetic

    • and also, we've made out twice before i called it off, and it was by far the two hottest make outs I've ever had. they still turn me on today. its cuz i know how good my body feels around him that makes it difficult

What Girls Said 1

  • You have to understand the emotional and physical implications of losing your virginity to anyone (even if you aren't a virgin), and determine if you can deal with unwanted outcomes in an emotionally mature way, and take responsibility for you actions no matter the outcome. It's something every person who is sexually active should be doing. But as for your first time, if you're okay with giving that moment to a guy who doesn't consider you his girlfriend, whom he may not care deeply for or will respect and support if the expereince is hard for you (it's just sex to him), I wouldn't "hook-up" with the friends with benefits guy if it's your first time.

    • thankks for the advice. when i say hookup, in my eyes i mean like everything up to oral and penetration. it sucks cuz im a virign and i dont want to give it up to just anyone. and no matter how much i want to have sex with him, i know i shouldn't and can't. it makes me wish that i wasn't a virgin, cuz then having sex with him wouldn't mean as much to me as it does

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    • I've had an incredible physical connection with someone, but that's all it is, and you have to understand that. It's not something magical, and it won't necessarily translate into something emotional either, so having sex with someone just because of the physical attraction (which by all means consenting adults are entitled to do) can leave you very vulnerable and feeling "used", not to mention if you get pregnant, the other person isn't someone dedicated to you, or someone who necessarily wants to support you or stay with you, so it's just not worth doing.

    • ya i know lol. i just wish i didn't find him so attracitve. like can he grow a beard so that im no longer attracted to him nad grow his hair long lol.