To white women... would your parents react normally, or negatively to you bringing home a black guy?




So i was watching this video above, and it got me really thinking about how white women today view dating black men, and the potential problems it may cause with your family and friends. I'm just curious to know about what the response of your circle would be. Answer the poll if you can, but I'd also like to know if the social hit you would get for dating a black guy like myself keeps you from even entertaining the idea of dating a black person. Feel free to watch the video too and post any of your experiences related to this topic. Cheers

  • My family (or at least part of it) would look down on me for it
    40% (28)
  • My family would not care
    60% (42)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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26

Most Helpful Girl

  • My first serious boyfriend that I dated for years, was half white, half Puerto Rican. Pretty much became part of the family. My boyfriend after him was black, I was told to not tell my nana (mom's mom) because she's kind of racist. As in she thinks anyone is ok, but once they're involved with family, she's weary (apparently, until this year, she thought my first serious boyfriend was just wrote. She was surprised when I told her he was biracial lol). So my nana found out anyway. NBD, because that didn't last but a month. The guy was really immature & he wasn't faithful. My husband is 100% Costa Rican, everyone in the family gets along with him. I would have never denied a relationship because of color or anything. My family loves me, then they have to accept who I'm with. Family comes first, yes. But not when it's in the way of my happiness. My sister (20y. o.) has been dating a very dark black guy (Jamaican, but born here) for a couple years. He's great, but there's some things I don't like about him. One is that he thinks he's funny being racist against others, including other black people. Another, is he's not very reliable, & in the beginning of their relationship, he wasn't faithful. If he straightens up, awesome. But until then, he's on parole with me. It wouldn't be any different if he were white or any other person. You gotta be a good person, & make my family member happy to be ok with me. I grew up in NC not caring, hell, I didn't even notice a difference between puerile. I came to NJ at 9y. o. & I realized people were racist bastards. It's a shame society would look down on someone just for dating someone else. In the beginning of my husband's & my relationship, everyone asked if he was legal. Like it's seriously anyone's business? Can I go back to middle school & just scream "NONEYA BEESWAX!"? :P :)

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    • very interesting. Sounds like you've got a fairly liberal family. From what i can tell so far, many white women have to struggle with family acceptance if they ever brought home a black boyfriend

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    • I've never seen a black guy actually hate on a white woman, I just realized that. It usually is women. I have no idea what is wrong with women (every color/ethnic background). I've asked a Hispanic woman why- because I certainly never understood it, & I hadn't witnessed white women being that way (as of then)- & she said it's possession issues. As if the woman is "stealing" the man from their race/ethnicity lol. I will never understand some women. You can't steal someone who willfully wants to be in a relationship lol. My ex didn't have his parents around, he was 21 & lived with friends, but his parents were adopted white parents anyway, so they didn't care when they heard about me. With my family, I found I had to stick up for another boyfriend (he was white) more-so than any other. To be fair, he turned out to be a complete asshole anyway, & he had anger problems. Possibly even killed a guy, but we won't go there. For all the potential families of gfs you may meet, I apologize in advance if

    • they are assholes. We're not all like that, as I hope you know. Know that you're better, & keep your head up! If she can't handle it because of the pressure, she wasn't/isn't/won't be the right one. A woman will be able to make her own choices for her own happiness, & not be pressured, even by family racial issues. Love is love, period. One day, probably when none of us are here, maybe there well be real equality. But we can only hope, & we can only work towards it by teaching others that there needs to be true equality. Because without changing views, racists will continue to breed racists. Something's got to click one day.

What Girls Said 25

  • Well most people see me as white so I don't know if my opinion matters 😂 Have no clue how my parents will react though, never dated a black dude... Although my parents don't have the best view of them due to the fact that my black grandfather is the ultimate womaniser (still is at age 77😂) and has a whole tribe of his own with a whole lot of 20 (known) kids by different women... So I guess he hasn't done much justice to prove his race any good to my white dad's eyes 😂😂😂 my grandfather and my black uncles would be overjoyed if I dated a black dude though... .___.

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  • I'm not white obviously, but I remember we talked about this once among my close friends... they were divided but the family thing was common to most of them. One of my friends is Norwegian-American, blonde hair/blue eyes/pale skin. She is very tolerant and loving of friends of all races truly, but when it comes to dating or marriage, she said she likely wouldn't date or marry Black or Asian men though she has found guys of both races attractive. I asked her if she's really not attracted and it sounded kinda like it'd be a taboo for her family. Like all her family is blond as can be. Other girls said they would date a black dude also did admit family might not be as open.

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    • ahh, so it seems like parents are a bigger influencer of peoples dating habits than people may realize

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    • right right. It makes me think that a lot of women who say on here for example, that they would date a black guy, may not actually mean it. Because when you compare responses to questions like that to online dating statistics, they don't really compute, hah. Well anyways, thanks for posting your input :)

    • O snap, that's an interesting comparison. I think people on Gag tend to be really open-minded about race honestly. But even for people who are open to all races, white people still make up the majority of the population and even hispanics now are the largest minority so chances are they'll be with someone white. Kinda like my bisexual female friend who is married to a dude. Doesn't mean she stopped being attracted to women.

  • My parents wouldn't care, but my mom would be awkward af and come across the wrong way. It's not a hate thing, it's just... I don't even know. She's just a dork. You should see her trying to talk to Canadians, it's hilarious and cringy.

    Most of my friends wouldn't care either. Frankly, anyone who would think less of me, my boyfriend, or my relationship, doesn't matter. That sounds like their problem to deal with.

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    • hah, interesting. My thoughts were that white women have to take a pretty huge risk to date a black guy, because their is a bit of a social hit they would take, whether one likes it or not... and the video i posted here kinda highlighted that so i was just curious.

    • It does depend some on the area they live in and who they're surrounded by, yeah. I've surrounded myself with the right friends, and I mean... interracial dating isn't that uncommon with my family. Most of my cousins are mixed race, so I never grew up with the idea that there was anything wrong with that.

      The social hit... I can see how it has a big impact on people, but I just... speaking from experience, I really just don't care. The only people who matter to me won't care, and everyone else is irrelevant.

    • i hear ya. Well thanks a lot on your input... and kudos to your strong will

  • my mom wouldn't care she's said black guys have been attractive, my dad's side is very different, would that deter me no my happiness should be only thing that matters. I always speak up when something arises where they're being negative and hateful. I can't stand it.

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    • ah interesting. So does it cause you to think twice before dating a black guy? If half your family might be against it, i imagine this must be something that you don't decide on as quickly as you might with a white guy

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    • yeah i hear ya. Thanks for your input :)

    • of course your welcome

  • It wouldn't be looked at as negative but it would be a big deal, like the biggest news to talk about and tell everyone - not as half a big deal as me coming home with a girlfriend though..

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    • why would it be a big deal? I mean, i get that it might be unexpected, but if they dont look down on it, what makes you feel like it would be big news?

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    • yeah you're right. Anyhow, it is what it is. One thing every person should do is get at least one black friend, and probe them about their life and how things are different for them simply because they are black. You'd be surprised. Anyhow, thanks for your input!

    • You welcome 😜

  • my dad got mad at me when he saw me hug a black dude. but to be frank, he wouldn't like it if he saw me hug a white dude, or latino dude, or east Asian dude either. he's an odd one. i don't think either of my parents would be down with me dating a black dude. it doesn't make a difference to me, i had a little flirtationship going on with a black dude in college. he was awesomesauce.

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    • oh damn. sorry, not white, my opinion doesn't counttttttttt lolol

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    • i didn't watch the video, but it makes sense that the environment in which we were nurtured heavily influences our decision-making.

    • mhm. anywho, thanks for your input

  • My mom wouldn't care. My dad would but we're estranged.

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  • Every single one of my white female friends from high school was told by her parents to not date black guys. I'm 20, not 65.

    I'm biracial so my family wouldn't be mad, that would be crazy, haha.

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    • All of them? man that's pretty sad tbh.

    • Yea, they were all advised not to date black guys. I was so disappointed when I learned because all of their parents didn't come off as members of the Klan, so I got defensive like "Wow, you don't have to call me the n word to think I'm less than you"

  • It would kill my father, my brother wouldn't like it, my mom would get over it.

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    • so does that ultimately stop you from dating black guys?

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    • ah fair enough. that speaks a lot about the kind of person you are. Thanks for your input :)

    • I didn't let my racist family influence me. Thankfully.

  • I don't mind black guys I mean I've had crushes on a number of them but that's it. My family is full of russians so errr for me to bring or even date a guy who's any other colour apart from white would be looked down upon. I know some may ask why not take the risk but surely family is more important than relationships

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  • I am hispanic and yes they would freak out!

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    • bummer! so do they basically influence who you choose to date?

    • No I never dated but when I told my dad i liked a black guy they were freaking out! haha! sadly he didn't like me! Forever alone! lol its cool!

  • My dad would be totally fine with it. My mom would take time to fully accept but she'd always be nice.

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    • well seeing as you're a fairly independent woman, i'm guessing their opinion wouldn't influence who you dated either way

    • This is true but family harmony is important to me as well. I'd have no problem being with a black guy if they didn't approve though

  • My mom would be fine with it, my dad I have no idea how he feels about it but I guess not any different than if I brought home a white guy, which is not good.
    The thing they wouldn't like would be muslim

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    • "I guess not any different than if I brought home a white guy, which is not good."

      so who would he accept you brining home?

    • Honestly I've never brought a guy and I have no idea how he would react. He is not racist so I don't see how it would be different if he was white. The question is would he accept any guy I bring home?

    • ah i see. He doesn't want his little girl dating at all, lol

  • I personally don't have a race prefrence when it comes to being attracted to a guy and honesty by family is kind of grossely old fashioned about interracial relationships. That doesn't make me shy away from men of another race though.

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    • so you're not afraid that you family may turn their back on you if you ever decided to marry a black guy?

    • They would get over it... they would talk about me behind my back lol but I dont care. My families opinions, as harsh as it sounds, hold no merrit in my opinion.

    • well that says a lot about your heart. Thanks for your input!

  • I'm from a very diverse part of the country. They wouldn't care.

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  • Im kind of a Serbian/Romanian mutt myself, but my family is still very much traditional, sadly. I do find most black/mixed men very attractive. We'd make awesome babies :P

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  • I dated a black guy, and my family knew he treated me well, and he was super sweet, and so my family was supportive, just as they would be of any guy who treats me well.

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  • my sister brought home a guy who is half black and they didn't care.

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  • my family wouldn't care. they're more concerned about what kind of person he is.

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  • they would down on me for it. They are so strict

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    • oh yea? what do you think they would do?

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    • you're absolutely right. I wish i were braver when i make my own desicions

    • well bravery is one thing... but you also need to eat and study. If your parents threaten to disown you or not pay for your schooling anymore for dating a black guy like myself, id understand if the girl avoided dating me in order to keep her life stable as she worked to gain her independence

  • Im really attracted to black guys my family wouldn't care if I dated one. But I feel insecure around them that they don't like white girls because they usually make fun of them.

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    • black guys by and large like white women, so you dont have to worry about feeling insecure

  • Well, the last time I did, my immediate family was totally fine with that. The guy I was dating was very respectful, polite, and even had things in common with my dad since they are both engineers. I don't date or not date someone based on skin color, and have dated a few different ethnicity before.. my parents don't care as long as I'm happy and he treats me well.

    I am however, concerned about some of my extended family. Concerned is the wrong word, since I don't see them, but I have a feeling they are a bit racist. They have said things in the past when I was younger that made me not want to visit them.

    I personally don't care what others think; I care about him and myself. I am just glad my parents are very open minded and laid-back.

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  • Well from the answers Im actually not surprised. It surprises me that many black people would like white people of the opposite sex knowing that if it got serious, the man or women would not take them home to be introduced. Im black and I will stick to my own race and that being one of the reasons. Not that im not attracted to white men they are some great looking good white dudes out there lol

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  • I would depend on if he was clean cut or not, honestly. A guy in well fitting jeans or khakis and a sweater will go over better than a guy with his whole ass hanging out of his pants and a grill. The same goes for bringing home white dudes in beaters and tracksuit bottoms.

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  • I like black guys but my family wouldn't be OK with that (especially mum, maybe dad wouldn't care if this makes me happy)

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    • ah okay. So does that ultimately stop you from dating black guys, or does it not affect you at all?

    • well, the place where I live there isn't many of them... I know only two and they are half black half white. And this makes the chance for me to date a black guy very low

    • i see. Well i understand why you wouldn't want to naturally

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