Who has the advantages when moving on, girls or guys?

Personally I think girls have the advantage when trying to move on after a breakup.
They always have guys hitting on, its a matter of pick and choose, so it becomes easier for them (if they wanted to become ho's ) ...
But I dont know, thats my perspective, because guys actually have to work to get some ladies, but what you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It have nothing to do with gender. The one who was more attached or was in love have difficulty in moving on.

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What Girls Said 32

  • I don't think women have it any easier than men do. I know plenty of guys who can charm women into wanting to be with them.

    Take a look at my ex for instance. He had me and another woman at the same time (I literally had no clue). I think he has it easier because apparently he was still in the dating game while we were together. I have to start all over again.

    Plus, I'm looking for someone with integrity. He's just looking for whomever will be with him. I think the difference in standards alone make it much easier for him to move on.

    I think when it comes down to it, it's much easier with the person with lower standards and less care for the relationship who moves on more easily.

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    • damn, true that.

      Although us men would fuck whatever is alive, moving on doesn't mean being with someone else, means not feeling those things for the person you was in a relationship with, not having your heart skip a beat when you see a photo they uploaded.

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    • damn, that woulda happened to me too because I was planning on moving near her just because I didn't want to go on a Long distance Relationship. you should take things slowly because if a nice guy comes to you you won't want him to suffer for what your ex did to you, thats not fair.

      And, I think the difference was I thought she was the one, but she didn't think that way about me even though she claims she loves me. She told me a bunch of hot guys hit on her and she kissed one and all that crap, like, it hurt, she found out i kissed another girl but i didn't brag about it like she did, she even told me he was damn hotter than me and more successful, told me I was a boring boyfriend and didn't surprised her and she expected a prince charming... all those things hurt, right now i cut all contact with her, if she hits me up im not responding because i wanted to know if she was at least thinking about getting back, but after all that shit I know she doesn't care about us being together.

    • I sorry for tl what your ex did to you... Don't prior are like that and they start like that their while life and also are miserable later...

      That will happen to him...

      But you will find someone and that guy wrong break your heart... That make the right choices :-)

  • I think it's pretty equal. Girls have an advantage in that society caters to their heartbreak. If we stay home in our pajamas eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream while crying our eyes out for three weeks after a break-up, our girlfriends rally around us, offering sympathy and reassuring us that it's his loss. I think guys go out for a drink with the guys on Friday night, maybe mope around for a day or two, and then they are expected to just 'get over it'. Of course, doing that would would be nothing short of superhuman, since no matter who you are, emotions don't just shut off at the flip of a switch.

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  • Break-ups shouldn't be about who has an "advantage". Hopefully people are a bit more respectful, and more mature than that, when dealing with a break up.

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    • corny response

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    • @Pavlove who do you think has the advantage?

    • @THEALIster Men, for sure.

  • It depends on the person.
    Personally if I am trying to "move on" flirting with a guy doesn't actually help. Like I'm trying to move on and get over someone at the moment and being hit on or flirted with doesn't help at all.

    By the way: a lot of guys think girls are constantly being hit on by like 10 guys a day and getting #s all the time and that they have like at least 5 different appealing options at any given time and that is so far from the truth...

    Its more like.. oh 2 guys at Walmart stared at me today... some creepy looking guy said "how u doin" and gave me a gross look... the same fuckhead who's been trying to get in my pants for over a year texted me today...

    Like its not that great I promise you. Even for attractive girls.

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  • I honestly think no one has any advantages. I mean, sure, there are girls who get hit on by a lot of guys but as you're trying to move on, it's really annoying. The poor girl just wants to give her heart a break, she's not in the mood for any new relationships, especially when she's trying to move on which means she still loves the guy.
    Also, I don't think it's a fun time to guys, too. If the guy really loves the girl, it doesn't matter how he looks or if he's a social butterfly or whatever gets others attention, because the only think he's trying to fix is his broken heart.

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    • living this situation right now,.. I asked this because my ex seems to forgot about me... i think she just was used to me but not in love.

    • You can never know. Maybe you're right or maybe she's just trying to show you she's totally over you while crying every night before she goes to sleep. I think you should just distract yourself and try to move on, because you probably won't know the truth and it's a waste of time.

  • I think girls have an advantage because thet get the sympathy from everyone. But its harder for girls to get a new one.

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    • why its harder?

    • Because girls feel like they need a guy to ask them out. And there are so many girls out. There will always be tgat one girl who looks better and guys want her

    • True to much extent,

  • I don't know. After my first breakup, I went 1.5 years single, while he moved on in like a month. My second ex, I've been single for like almost a year, and he was dating someone else when we broke up.

    So, from my very limiting experiences, guys can get over you even while you're still together. And here I am feeling stupid for not even being able to date someone new even after years. :/

    You can have all the people ask you out, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know I just get flashbacks of how my ex and I started dating, and then I can't go through with dating a new person.

    It's not easy for the one who was in love.

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    • I think it all has to be with the morals of the people...
      I have 3 months single after a 3 years relationship, and trust me, I don't like anyone, I don't even want to date but I would ask a girl out just to explore and get my mind off things, plus, I know my ex moved on already.

    • "So, from my very limiting experiences, guys can get over you even while you're still together" I can confirm this. I've been in relationships working out perfectly, but then lose interest to the point you can see someone else the day after break up. Although I've never done that ok if respect.

    • @croxy *le sigh*
      :(

  • I don't really think there are advantages because moving on hurts like hell no matter the gender.

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  • Well like they say, a heart don't break even! Someone seems to always be hurt a little more than the other person!

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  • Just cause we can have sex easily doesn't mean we can fall in love as easily too. It's just as difficult for women to find a lasting relationship.

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  • Depends on why they broke up. Each couple is different then the next and everyone has different feelings. Gender isn't really a factor, but feelings and everything that they've gone through together is. Sometimes how long they've been together also influences how they each feel after a breakup.

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  • I know it takes an emotional toll on me which prevented me from finding someone new for a long time but my ex of 2 years got a new girlfriend the day after we broke up. I ultimately did find a great guy but who has the "advantage" in that situation?

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  • Having options to pick from won't help you overcome a bad breakup, a bad breakup is still a bad breakup and no amount of attention would ever change that.

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    • you should tell that to my ex girlfriend who ditched me, moved to another state and already kissed some random guy at a college party while smoking weed... and claims she loves me.

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    • You could have been together for a lifetime and it wouldn't really mean anything. Fake people are like that.

    • fuck yeah...

  • well everything in this world has pros and cons... girls are way more sensitive than guys.. and will take time in healing themselves.. but will definitely be at an advantage

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    • well, Im a guy and im sensitive too, not a little bitch but sensitive nonetheless and for me its hard to move on no matter how bad the person was, because I love deeply and I truly fall in love.

    • well than that was not called love.. cuz love is true and cannot be broken or faded.. it is more like lust

  • I feel like its way easier for men to get over feelings after breaking up with someone epecially when they know something isn't working anymore. Some guys may be more sensitive then others, but typically this seems to be the case. Also, I know plenty of men who don't have any trouble finding another woman. Of course for men who aren't all that attractive, it may be a little harder.

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  • Funny, I always thought guys had the advantage.

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    • That's what I've always thought too! It usually seems like guys generally move on more easily and quicker than girls do.

    • @Miss_Behave In my opinion girls, but because they have already made up their mind when they breakup, guys just have to swallow it, and if we beg we are not attractive anymore and you dump us faster because your ego grows...

      I think girls move on faster, and I say it based on my experience , my 2 ex's moved on pretty fast.

    • But my exes moved on fast too. So I guess it depends on the individual, rather than their gender!.

  • Difficult question, I think both can move on quickly. It depends on the person.

    And if you're in love.. You're totally fucked, being a girl or a guy won't help you moving on faster.

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  • If this is true then I must not be female

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  • I think guys because they are less emotional

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  • only very pretty girls with big tits always have guys hitting on them, it's actually quite hard for the rest of us

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  • the one doing the breaking up, unless it was due to the other cheating or something.

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  • Historically the men , and men who have money goes through heaps of women like a waterfall.

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  • Girls have slightly more advantage but it's the same

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  • I have been missing mine for 7 years. Men have an advantage.

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  • No one does... it hurts everyone

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  • Your comment on girls really depends on how attractive they are and how much they liked the guy.

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  • "... always have guys hitting on"

    Guys only hit on me when I am in a relationship.

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  • It depends on who was more invested in the relationship. Most women think guys have it easier, & obviously guys think the women have it easier. But a lot of times, we don't see into our exes futures. & just because guys line up after breakups doesn't mean the girls have it easier. A lot of times, at least for me, the guys were friends, or they just wanted a hookup. Even if we do end up with one of them, that doesn't mean we're not thinking of our exes, either. If I could have it be, I'd be friends with most of my exes, because we'd get along better as friends. Unfortunately, must of them can't deal with that. I've broken up with all but one of them- just because I'm "perfect" for them, doesn't mean they're perfect for me. When I say I want them to be happy in the future, I mean it, & that's why every now & then, I look to see how they're doing. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I can't care if they're alright. Most of them have depression, & one had anger problems on top of it.

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  • That's not true. Girls are complete wrecks most of the time and seek out their friends to bring them chocolate. and also if this girl is on her period, it's about three times worse. Girls may have an easier time getting guys, but that all depends on the girl. say this girl had a not so attractive body and boys didn't like her because of it. It hurts. frankly I feel that guys have an easier time bouncing back, usually finding someone to date before the other. But it all depends, but in my experiences I say guys.

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  • If we're going on stereotypes alone, girls have it harder due to the ferocity of their emotional attachment.

    But it really depends on the individual person, lol.

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What Guys Said 36

  • In terms of rebounding, finding someone new, or hooking up, girl would have an easier time of doing these things.

    I think one of the big things would be the perception of past relationships. While both girls and guys have been shown to be criticized by the opposite sex for past sexual experiences (Though guys pat each other on the back, while girls seem to have knives at each other.), the major difference is the perception of who was at fault for past relationship failings.

    That is, people assume he broke up with her because he is an asshole, or she broke up with him because he was being too much of an asshole.

    And it is very easy for everyone to believe that a girl has an abusive ex, while basically nobody believes a guy when he says his ex was abusive. I dated a girl who did a very good job of convincing me she dated a long string of abusive guys. Then when I dated her, I quickly realized why. If you weren't bowing to her, it was abuse. If you had insecurities, it was abuse. And then I met her exes and they were all great guys.

    Another girl claimed to have a long string of bad exes, and then I realized she was put off any time I was too "feminine" for her taste. She wanted a "real man", then proceeded to define a man using basically every side effect of being an asshole. Go figure.

    Sorry, got off topic.

    Another thing I read was that guys are hit harder by breakups and rocky relationships. They are more likely to turn to alcohol, drugs, or suicide because of the weaker support nets we have, largely because of the issues mentioned above. Plus the fact that people expect the man to "lead" the relationship, and therefore blame him if it goes to shit, so he doesn't have quite the group of sympathizers to help him out.

    Let's not dismiss a girl's experience, though. Girls have their own unique set of issues. I would try to list them, but I'm not a woman. But nevertheless, this isn't one of those cases where a gender gap favors men.

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  • Moving on involves more than just finding your next "victim." There are hurts and unanswered questions and self-doubts that must be addressed. Since women are more emotional, this may be more difficult for them.

    But. . . what good does it do to compare who has the advantage? If you could get a valid answer (which you cannot,) what would you do with the answer? Would you change your behavior? Would you change your gender? Does it help you to move on? Aren't there more important questions to ponder?

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    • Honestly I asked the question because My ex seems to moved on already, while I struggle, its been 3 months since the breakup and I can't stop thinking about her and how mistreated and abandoned I felt.
      Now I feel way better but I still think of it and hurts me.
      While im pretty sure she doesn't give a shit, but she "CLAIMS" she loves me, thats why i asked, because if she did love me she would struggle too.

      But deep down I know she doesn't love me.
      And no, the answer doesn't help me to move on, only time will.

    • Right, that's the worst part of a breakup. You spend time with someone, you fall in love, they say they love you, then something happens and you break up. They act like you never mattered at all and you wonder if it was just some stupid, horrible dream that you had, because real life couldn't possibly be THAT bad.

  • Guys won't usually admit they are hurting, and will date right away any girl who will say yes, to sort of 'cover' their feelings, or to 'get even' with their ex.

    Girls will ADMIT and DISCUSS HOW THEY FEEL.  They 
    are much less likely to date for
    'revenge' or as a 'cover',  though
    of course, there are rebound girls
    out there.

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  • Girls have the advantage because they usually have a backup guy when relationship goes south.

    http://imgur.com/a/8Urim
    Also girls tend to prepare themselves months beforehand detaching herself off emotionally before breaking up with her boyfriend.

    http://i.imgur.com/hq0bwyw.jpg
    Then when you factor in it's easier for a girl to get another guy because guys line up for women, while it's much harder for guys to get another girl in general. Yeah. Girls have the advantage.

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  • The person less invested in the relationship

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  • Speaking from personal experience: girls.
    My ex broke up with me 8 months ago after a 1.5 year relationship.

    She jumped into another relationship 3 months later, while 8 months later... I'm still having trouble.

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    • I feel you brother. My ex fiancé was with a new guy 4 days after dumping me. Kinda suspicious.

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    • @admles thanks man! It was starting to get better until after months on NC, she texts me out of the blue 😡. I know I have to ask why she's even texting me and I have to tell her to go away

    • damn man, almost the same here, when my ex texts me i get this weird feeling, I do want to talk to her but if we are together.. but apart doesn't cut it for me, I just want to move on... I love her with all I have but I want that love to die already lol

  • Girls do, they have friends and family there to support them. Guys will hit on them they will move on. Girls hurt a lot in a short amount of time but they tend to get over it quicker then men. For guys its a slow gnawing pain that continues to last for years

    Guys on the other hand are expected to gut up and move on, without help, most men tend to carry the sadness of a breakup the rest of their life believe it or not.

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  • Girls have the advantage for sure, if she wants to rebound or move on, she has an easier time finding male company.

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  • This isn't related with gender -- everybody hurts. If you don't believe me, then take REM's word for it.

    http://youtu.be/ijZRCIrTgQc

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  • I see 'moving on' as letting go of the past relationship, that doesn't neccessarily mean that you need a new relationship to do that

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  • There's a difference in "moving on" and having people hit on you. Moving on is more of an emotional conflict not about how many people you can get.

    I actually think it's same for both genders, the only difference is how they handle it. Most girls make it more obvious by crying and talking it out with their friends which is healthy... guys attempt to ignore it and hide their feeling while making it seem like they're having fun but really they're hurting on the inside.

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  • I don't think it's like that!!!
    The person who dumps the other person has more advantage when moving on...

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  • Girls, easily.

    For reasons already stated.

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  • The girls may have guys but I think they are more emotionally hurt after the break up so they take a bit more time moving on.

    But the guys get over the break up quicker and bounce back emotionally, sooner.

    But as far as who has the chance to get a new partner quicker than yes, the ladies have the advantage if they just want a rebound guy.

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  • I've found that I don't really miss girlfriends after a break up. I'll be sad that the relationship ended but I don't dwell in it because it's just not healthy. Finding someone new is hard for everyone, sure women can probably get dates easier but they have to be mentally ready to move on just like a guy would have to be. I really don't think men or women have it better when exiting a relationship, some guys get way more invested in a woman than they are in them.

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  • Girls by a long shot. I mean girls get approached by guys all the time while it is very rare for girls to approach guys. So potential new mates are showing girls they are interested, so at least that is a confidence booster. Also girls tend to have relationships with other girls where they talk about this and how they are feeling, which is good to talk about to move on. Guys relationships are like this, sure they will ask how your doing but it pretty much stops at that. But yeah it isn't easy for either gender but I think women have the advantage.

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  • I say guys. i feel like girls have to go through a period of not feeling like a "ho" as where guys have no problem just moving straight to another girl. also guys can throw themselves into a career post break up and he's "rebuilding" himself. a girl who throws herself into a career post break up is seen as "distracting" herself.

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  • I don't think of breakups like that.. I mean yeah, it sucks losing someone you were attached to and became accustomed to having in your life but on the other hand it's a learning experience. I've done better in every relationship I've had. I've grown as a person which will help me out in future opportunities. I don't think of it as which gender has it easier at all.

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  • I don't know, but I would figure the one who left first has the most advantage, unless the one who left was the jerk.

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  • Agreed. Women constantly have more choices and are therefore able to be a lot more selective when it comes to choosing the next partner.
    Studies have even proven that about 80% of the women in this country are only attracted to about 20% of the men.
    It's terrible!

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  • Girls who are good looking have it fifty times easier than anyone else in the dating game

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  • I agree 98%

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  • Girls. They usually keep one or two back up boyfriends for exactly this kind of situation.

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  • I had the advantage after my recent breakup. I ended things and it hit her hard. She was really out of it for about a month, and I went on as if nothing had changed, without missing a beat.

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  • I disagree.

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  • I see why you went with the anonymous post.

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  • Girls, they could if they would
    Guys, they would if they could
    U get that?

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  • I think girls have it easier, ONLY because they are allowed to show their feelings and be upset- and usually have better emotional support than men. Men are expected to move on and not feel anything.

    Easier access to sex doesn't hurt either... doesn't mean it helps you get over it long term though, just to numb the pain.

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  • Chicks have always had the advantage...

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  • I agree , my soon to be ex wife has already had someone and moving in with them while I don't know when I'll have a serious relationship, might be years

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