26 and never had a girlfriend and still a virgin?

I'm 26 years old. I've never had a girlfriend, I'm a virgin, I've never been kissed nor have I ever touched a woman before. I'm a fall-filled freak. But at the same time I'd love to have a girlfriend.

Apart from work, I rarely leave the house. If I went to a party or a bar/club, I wouldn't talk to people I didn't know and I would want to leave 5 minutes after I showed up. I feel very uncomfortable in social settings especially with alcohol as I don't drink.

I'm very shy, guarded and reserved. I always have been. I can go days without taking to anybody. To make matters worse I stutter when I get nervous which makes me feel insecure. I've seen speech pathologists about it but things have not improved. . I have attempted to ask girls on dates in the past but I've been rejected that much that I don't see the point in putting myself out there anymore, I have a heard time dealing with rejection and I just don't want to get through it again.

I've been on only one date in my entire life and it was terrible. I tried online dating and organized a date with this girl around my age. We went out to dinner, I got really nervous and uncomfortable and halfway through the night she left me to go dancing with a few friends, telling me I was "too shy" for her.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask, what do you think of a guy like me? Am I a loser? Should I give up? Is there hope? Any advice?

Thanks for listening.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're absolutely not a loser, and don't give up. From the sounds of you I wouldn't even bother trying to meet anyone at a party or bar/club because they don't sound like you at all, and usually people want to meet someone with common interests or similarities. What are your interests? I would suggest joining clubs or going to places where people are into the things you're into. Not only will it feel more natural but you'll probably end up with some cool new friends even if nothing turns out in the romantic side of things. I believe there is someone out there for everyone, you just haven't found her yet. She will come :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes you are a loser. Put yourself in the persons shoes that goes out on a date with you. If your acting the way you described it does not sound like a lot of fun, sorry. Yet it is not a big deal because the next person you meet has no idea of your past blunders, so it's a fresh start.

    Quit wasting time with therapy kick yourself in the ass every time you think you need it. Since you don't do anything outside of work look for something like a cheap salsa dancing or ballroom dancing school. There you will be provided a partner where you can practice your social skills while learning how to dance which will also build your confidence plus provide a new outlet to be social in. Most cities have cheap salsa dancing schools that teach large groups do not get into one that is 1 to 1 that defeats the purpose. I suggest salsa because the dancers are rarely judge mental they rarely turn down a dance even from bad dancers and I doubt you have hobbies that woman take part in since you rarely leave the house. The better you get at dancing the more girls will want to dance with you and they will begin to approach you. It is also a good form of exercise which will release endorphins that will make you feel better about yourself. There is always hope if you are willing to put in the work.

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What Girls Said 6

  • You have not done anything to improve your self esteem so hence the zero confidence. I feel like you live inside a box.

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  • Most of the time, girls are easy going, I don't know why u guys nervous. And u r not loser, just u still not met the right one, dont give up.

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  • Too much pressure for sex
    It's not a bad thing to wait
    When you find someone who is really worth it they will also put in effort
    If i like a guy I will work to keep him

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  • More confidence could you pm me

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  • Come sleep over;-)

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  • there's nothing wrong with that its very respectable because you have good standards and wait for true love

    im similar as well. im in a big city and there's so many guys around me but its hard to introduce yourself and meet them.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I feel for you brother... I was 24 when I experienced my first pu$$y.. with a prostitute! very late bloomer.. I couldn't talk to girls, at all.. what I did was I went to strip clubs and practiced my social skills with them (prostitutes)... the moment I gained confidence talking to them, and being with them in bed, I immediately applied it to the outside world... voila, it was like a hidden switch that was turned on

    By 25, I already banged 7 women in a span of a year (non prostitutes) it takes a little bit of practice dude... don't despair, it'll come, no pun intended

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  • Well you've already given up... i mean bitching on the internet won't really do much and you said it yourself that you are a loser, but of course there is a chance some girl will like you, there most likely is some girl out there that you know and she is crushing on you atm, but you are to much of a pussy to do anything about it.
    And of course there is hope i mean come on, there are billions of people on the world.
    As for advice, stop being a bitch it won't help you, trust me... it really won't, go out, get to know some people and ask a girl out i mean, what are you losing? and even if she rejects you, why give a fuck?
    Just stop bitching on the internet without doing anything and fucking go do something.

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  • I have lots of experience with online dating (how i met my wife)
    do you still do it? And, do you have issues just talking with women, or people in general?

    The rejection sucks, but its very much what shapes us into who we are and provides resistance.

    Also, i wouldn't call you a loser until you gave up on finding someone.

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  • Having a girlfriend is really not as great as it sounds. It seems like it'd be cool but there all pretty nuts.

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  • Keep trying there is some one out there for you.

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  • I would talk to a psychologist or go MGTOW. I am very similar to you and experience rejection too many times. There is hope and your not a loser. Just do the best you can possible be, and then forgive yourself regardless of the end result.

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  • sounds like my future

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  • order hookers like charlie sheen...

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  • Welcome to the club. I'm exactly like you. I will never change for society. I vastly improved the social anxiety part but still am introverted, hate clubs etc. i think your stuttering is psychological. just try to calm down. do aerobic exercises and practice meditative prayer. learn to control your heart beat. see women and people for what they really are. similar to you. not something to pedestalise. make meeting people a celebration instead of a source of anxiety. fake it till you make it. cultivate your cool and calmness. maintain your manners and dignity. most importantly, plan on small goals and achieve them. it will boost you in all frontiers. look, you will never become a social stud but definitely better than you are now.

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    • four words. gratitude. presense. indigence. sedulousness or the better greek word philoponia.

      have gratitude for what you have and do not whine for what you lack. if you need to change something act on it. have gratitude for all things that come to your life good and bad. there will come a day that you will look back and see your past misfortunes with appreciation cause they gave you wisdom and got you in the journey that made you the man you will be that day.

      be present in the moment. do not procrastinate. tame your fears. work upon your weaknesses and handicaps. the greatest barrier you have to overcome is your mental barrier. do not have neediness and an agenda with people. be genuine and welcome them in your small circle of peculiar fun instead of depserately rying to blend in.

      have indigence. do not form sentimental connection with your "possessions". dont ever say i lost it/her say it was returned... .

    • ... . come to the realisation we do not possess anything in this life. we are just lenders. try to leave something meaningful behind. see your self as the previous of the coming people. do not fall in the materialistic American dream obsession.

      philoponia, love of pain. no, not masochism but a truly healing mindset. do you hate exercise? work in the opposite direction. force your self to make it. do you hate interaction, make it your joy. do you hate and hurt by being insulted? make insults ring like melodies in your ears. do not crave recognition crave internal peace and love to your fellow human. be grossed by ass kissing and pride breeding compliments. be glad for contructive or even not so contructive critisism. take bad comments which made you depressed and to want to quit till now, your very special fuel to go on. learn to take meanness and bitterness of people with a smile and a receptive heart without being hurt. see your failures as mere prolongation of your impeding victory

  • i'm 27 and sort of like you, although i have kissed and made out with girls before, been on dates, just haven't had a girlfriend yet, haven't been exclusive with a woman yet.

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  • Be more confident it will. help you so. much in life not. only in the sex department

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