Are long distance relationships bad?

(not even meeting in person first, just meeting online somewhere random and you know they aren't a creep because you've video called. )
I always get involved in these because I am way too shy and anxious to go out and meet people in person. And it can become more serious then it sounds, with plans to meet and make it real.
But online, the other person eventually flakes on me and it becomes a mess and I feel like I get heart broken over nothing.
Should I stop trying online in general? Fml

  • Keep trying but take it slow..
    56% (35)47% (22)52% (57)Vote
  • Give up, there's no hope
    22% (14)36% (17)28% (31)Vote
  • how the hell am I supposed to know?
    14% (9)6% (3)11% (12)Vote
  • you're stupid.
    8% (5)11% (5)9% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
16|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • Long distance relationships are hard, you don't have that phyisical connectedness which helps establish emotional connections, but that doesn't mean they are doomed from the start. It just means you need to work at it a little more, maybe try and make the effort to see/meet the person in person etc.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Long distance, online, ''never met in real life'' relationship... See where I'm going?
    It's simply not, and will never be comparable to an actual relationship and the benefits it provides.
    Instead of trying to cover up your actual problem (anxiety) and solving it with fleeting things that almost never work out (talking online and never actually meeting), try to build up your confidence, and get a real relationship you deserve.
    I'm speaking from experience, long distance relationships simply fail 90% of the time. Are you that willing to risk getting hurt over and over again?
    I'm sure you're a pretty girl, just probably a little shy.
    At that age, you deserve to date all the boys you like, go out, and have actual fun.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Aw thanks :D yup they don't seem to be the best option but meeting someone irl is way more difficult :(

    • Because what you choose is the ''easy way out''. Just because it's easier, doesn't mean it's what you deserve. I'm saddened to see how many younger girls waste their beautiful youth online when they should be living life to their fullest, living the teenage dream. It's all downhill from here, believe me.

What Guys Said 19

  • LDR is like going fishing , getting a fish on the hook , but never actually reeling it back in. Instead , you leave the fish struggling in the water , bending the fishing rod , and threatening to pull you into the water.

    Painful for the fish. Tiring for you.
    If you're gonna fish , reel it in fast , or just... let it go.

    8|1
    2|1
    • That's a very violent way to look at it o_o

    • Show All
    • @Springnok93 Love you too babe

      Oh, and why would the fisherman not reel the fish in? There's no point, makes no sense :/

    • @Springnok93 I read the comment and yeaaaaaaa that pretty damn racist

  • I see no reason what so ever to feel an on line relationship can't hold merit. It's no difference between this and a LDR. It's not a relationship I would want how ever as I do prefer a more personal affection that on line or LDR's can't provide

    2|1
    0|0
    • Well you eventually will get affection if you stay with them long enough and plan more for the future and all but it takes two really mature minds for it to go anywhere

    • That is a healthy attitude to have. Your youth afford you the leaguer of taking your time

    • Yes :D :) of course

  • Bad? I would say more often than not it will fail, it will not workout in the long run.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I literally just took a college level psych class where they literally put it this bluntly:

    THEY DON'T WORK

    this is coming from a professor who was on 60 minutes and knows his shit. There are some exceptions, but for the most part they just do not work.

    0|0
    0|0
  • long distance relationships are pointless unless at least one person involved is willing to see the other no less than once a month. that requires money, time, and headaches.

    you miss out on a lot of impromptu things you should be doing if they were lcoal.. every time you see each other becomes an extravagant ordeal. i've tried one before, and 8 months in, after seeing each other 6 times... we called it quits (LA to NYC)

    1|0
    0|0
  • They are not necessarily bad... just difficult!

    Relationships are difficult to grow when you don't get the one on one time you need together.

    1|0
    0|0
  • They are stupid for those without the means to make the shift.

    2|0
    1|0
  • No, long distance relationships just aren't for everyone. They are different, not bad.
    And yes, you should start to meet people 'for real' now.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't stop trying online.

    But above this I wouldn't stop trying in person either.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I was in one.. it didn't end well for me..

    0|0
    0|0
    • Me too 😦😞

    • I said to myself I wouldn't ever be in one again.
      I'm pretty confident, I have no trouble asking out girls. But the only issue is I have a 0% success rate. It's weird because it's always thr girls online who I end up having a connection with. But.. I can't find a single girl near me who will give me a chance. 😂 It's weird..

  • not bad if you're both willing to work on it, these relationships are tough

    0|0
    0|0
  • tbh I've been in one and the only reason it'll not work is... (secret)
    by the way new here?

    1|0
    0|0
  • If you manage to talk for more than a year online, then it's worth holding out for them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes it works, but probably not for most.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I was in something like what you mentioned years ago, bad experience, please, go out more, try it, with practice you won't get anxious, go jogging everyday or something, take it slow.

    Long distance relationships are only an option if you've been together and for some odd reasons you have to split and want to try it, after that I wouldn't recommend taking things serious with someone you just met online.

    0|0
    0|0
  • We never met in person for 3 years because we were still young and tickets were expensive for us. She is Russian and I'm Malaysian. We talked everyday and did everything possible during those 3 years. We are now happily married and have two kids. It was hard but it was worth it. Every problem has thousands if not infinite ways to solve it, you just need to use your head.

    5|0
    0|0
    • Awwwww thank you for sharing your story!!! Gives those who are in LDRS hope :) x

  • internet relationships don't count.

    1|0
    1|0
  • If you haven't met in person, it's not a relationship.

    Unless one of you is willing to make the long move to live together at some point, it's not worth the heartache.

    This is the voice of experience.

    1|0
    0|0
    • It is still considered a relationship in my opinion depending on how long you've been talking for and how well you know eachother etc. :)

  • It's pretty BAD
    9 times out of 10... they never work

    3|0
    1|0

What Girls Said 15

  • No, long distance relationships aren't bad. I do think they only work though if both people are 100% invested and committed to each other. Trust and strong communication skills are also necessary. They also need to be in a position where they can at least travel to meet each other and spend time together in person occasionally.

    I do think there at least needs to be some plans for one or the other to move at some point. The couple needs to have an "end goal" of being together in person somewhere down the road. Judging by your age, I honestly don't see a long distance relationship working for someone who is that young. Of course there are always exceptions, but generally speaking, I feel that long-distance really only works for short-term situations.

    6|0
    0|0
    • Everything you said was right I agree 100%!! :D some really do last. And yes I am 16 now but I will be 18 in about a year and I'd move in with someone if I was truly in love :P

    • Well, if you find the right person then I'm sure it will work :)

  • Don't give up because the ones that will actually stay prove just how much they want to be with you.

    Well that's what I'm doing right now with my current boyfriend. He's in college in a different country that has a 5 hour time difference. He wouldn't ever try to have a physical relationship while he's doing it. Since that would be to distracting and graduating college is his top priority.

    I suck at straight up physical relationships. Where you meet them in real life first. I would rush into it. Then my adhd and Asperger would scare them away. Along with my mentality at the time. I wasn't taking medication for it.

    I met him over 3 years ago on an online game. The first year was rough mainly because of my mentality at the time. Plus it took him a bit to really fall for me. After the first year it's been smooth sailing majority of the time. Though again I have my mental issues and would freak out at times. Still even though I hurt him in those times he's never given up. He's the most amazing guy I have ever met. Plus being with him I've grown way more as a person than I have in my entire life. He helps me think logically and over come what I struggle with. I've learned to be less clingy and more chilled.

    He has like 1 more year of college to go atm. Which is fine I still have more time to improve on myself. Still he's the only relationship I've ever thought logically about on how to truly make it work. :)

    0|1
    0|0
  • It vaires for some it works! For others not so much! It all depends!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Hey lol If you want to ask anything about LDR online relationships, I'm here. You're 16 right? i was in one when I was still 16 well It was long before i turned 17 but yeah. You get it. Anyways, an online relationship is hard. It's basically a LDR and it takes two people to make this relationship work out. If one person gives up, the other will give up eventually and lemme tell you, there are times where you'll doubt your relationship and your true feelings. I just got out of my online relationship.. I don't regret meeting him and starting a relationship together. I think you should ask yourself, would I regret dating him? Is it worth spending so much of my time skyping and messaging this person? In a relationship and especially a Online LDR, you must have good communication and that means interacting with one another on Skype at least everyday. If you guys can meet, then yeah go knock yourself out. If you can't like how i was with my ex, then don't... eventually you're going to get greedy and want more.. and in the end, it'll just tear you guys apart. You start to feel confused about your own feelings and wonder if you ever loved him? You start to question yourself if any of it was ever real.. was any of it ever going to be real.. I loved him and I gave my first love to him.. Do I regret it? not really.. i feel like i have a chance to have two first love which is great. I just want you to think it through. i only got in one because I never met someone irl who I liked and he was different. I just liked him enough to want to be with him and try something different... Just get ready for your heart to be broken because it'll happen at some point and it's hard to maintain a LDR online relationship...

    Good luck

    0|0
    0|0
  • Are long distance relationships bad? Not necessarily, but they're not for everyone. Long distance relationships are still hard, though, regardless.

    But your description doesn't even correlate to your question. You're not even talking about long distance relationships, so I'm confused.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah they are quite some work but sometimes you just meet someone special!!
      I don't know what you mean the description doesn't relate?

    • Your question focuses on long distance relationships whereas your description leans more on the online relationship side.

      Haha and you're right. You do have to meet someone special. Before, I used to not believe in long distance relationships at all, but then I met my current boyfriend and being 150 miles away from him (not too bad but we don't see each other too often), it sucks not having a strong physical part of the relationship, but we gotta do what we gotta do.

  • Yes. You really should. You can't depend on others' loyalty when you haven't known them for an extended period of time. I "got involved" online with a guy who swore "God had it planned for us to marry". After I made him a care package, he cheated on me & didn't talk to me for days because he felt guilty. Then he cut me out of his life. So, there you have it. Don't give your allegiance away like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would take it slow. I've met people online that have hanged around for a year or so. It's not always bad, there are people who could flake out on you in real life as much as online. I would try both online and real life, try not to force things either.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Distance relationships are sometimes difficult, but they can work if you try hard enough.

    0|0
    0|0
  • waste of time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you need any advice just ask I've been in a LDR for almost two years!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Alright, I'll tell you this, I went through long distance and I'm sorry Hun, it didn't go good. Then again, it matters what you want in a relationship, I'm about emotion and feeling. My question is, what do you look for?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Long distance relationships are hard but you just have to talk often and keep in touch.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Mine failed.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Meeting online is risky in a number of ways. I do it, but I always advise caution. You're quite young and so a likely target for predators prowling online.

    Take it slow. Play it safe!

    Never meet a stranger alone or without telling people where you are going and when you will be back. They should expect you to check back at a certain time and alert authorities if you do not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Personally , I never pursue online relationships. People tend to build an image of what the person is really like, and how their life will be together, but they are really only in love with an illusion.

    When they do finally meet up, their illusion becomes shattered , because as you get to know them in person they aren't the person who you initially thought they were.

    Most guys you chat to online are probably pursuing other girls too. You won't be exclusive to him. That is why I would never get too attached to a random guy on the internet. You are just setting yourself up for a heartbreak.

    I need emotional security in a relationship, and an online relationship would make me feel too emotionally unsafe. 💚😊

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...