Getting coffee with my ex girlfriend. how much should I tell her?

She dumped me over a month ago. After a week I tried to reconcile and came off a little needy. But her decision wasn't impulsive. We are both very mature and aside from communication we had a good relationship. Great sex and chemistry. She just felt I wasn't into her as much as she was into me. I really like this girl and want her back, but I don't think its fair to bombard her with my feelings the first time I see her. But I haven't been able to get her out of my head all month. I don't want to be put in the friend zone. I really want another shot with her. I know she isn't dating anyone either. So, how much should I reveal at this meeting?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She dumped you because she felt you Wernt into her as much as you...

    This is obviously all the more reason you should tell her how you really feel. You don't need to bombard her, you can let her know that you know you blew it before because you didn't make her feel appreciated but you've kicked yourself ever since and just want another Chance to prove that you are into her more than she thinks.

    The reason so many potential relationships fail is because everyone has to much pride to say how they really feel which results in mixed signals and break ups!

    Needy and upfront are 2 different things. If she's meeting you chances are she is hoping you still want her but she probably wants you to make more of an effort!

    • one issue is we broke up a few months before this. she called me after a week crying wanting to talk and we did. We got back together but I didn't change much. Back then I was ready to move on and forget. But now I imagine I feel like she did the first time. Her thoughts are somewhat like, we tried that before and it didn't work. I just feel like sometimes people need to endure rejection to know if they love that person.

    • I understand I've been in a similar situation and when a guy lets you down more than once it's hard to give them another chance.

      The fact that you've let her down more than once and she's willing to meet you means she obviously still cares.

      Are you sure you really want her back or do you only want what you can't have?

      You need to really think about it because otherwise you will just hurt her again, if you're 100% sure then you need to tell her that you know that words can't prove your feelings but you want to show her and then you have to actually show her!

    • I've thought about it from every angle. I know its cliche and common for people to want what they can't have, but I feel deeply if I had another chance the spark would burst. I just don't know if she has faith I can follow through so I don't know how to prove it. When I asked her for coffee she said sure, but didn't seem to be totally thrilled about it. It was just through text. I told her I think its a shame we can't talk any more and her response was "just because were not dating doesn't mean I don't care about you." I want it to work bad, and i dont want to waste anymore time, but at the same time I dont want to blow it by coming off too strong.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should just move on. It's pathetic to go back with someone who clearly don't want shits with you. Evaluate what you've done wrong in the past and learn from mistakes. Maybe you improved yourself physically, mentally in the future, be opened to be seen by her.


What Girls Said 1

  • Mmm i think it would be a good idea, if you gave her a run down of why you have asked her to grab a coffee with you. Tell her what you want, and ask her if she wants the same thing as you do,

    • should we have small talk first and build up to that? I feel like I need to show her i've made a positive change before I can get her to reconcile.

    • You can if you want (if that would make it easier for you)

What Guys Said 2

  • I think you're right to avoid appearing needy, but at the same time you have to be ready to go with the flow if the opportunity presents itself. You can flirt a bit to get the ball rolling, and see if she's interested. Don't reveal until she expresses interest.

    Good luck!

  • You shouldn't trust women with one bone in your body