Guys, Men - put together what do you make of it?

I've known a guy for more than a year (off and on work) who started coming on to me about oh 6-7 weeks ago so we've seen each other two times and keep in touch pretty often email/text/phone/Skype but he seems to stay away here and there, but he always returns lol

I try to keep contact initiation balanced of course I don't want to create pressure - so I try to let him know he's in control yet I do show him enthusiasm when he reaches out.

Anyway, my question is, I want to let REAL LIFE be a factor and not follow some bull**it advice but that he's not taken me out yet on any real dates yet kinda makes me wonder if that really means what people say, like if he's not making a big effort to impress me it means it's low interest?

I'm not looking to be difficult, but of course, the more we talk the closer I feel to him. He has made it CLEAR that he wants to have sex but he's respecting my choice to wait - so I just want to go a tiny bit slow, or know it's exclusive before *that* happens - just trying to avoid being hurt. However note that we're incredibly attracted to each other.

Of course the best answer will come from him when I talk to HIM but for now, what do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You said you two are incredibly attracted to each other and there must be a reason he's sticking around. Maybe he wants to know you more before going any further make sure he won't be dating Jill the Ripper or what have you.


What Guys Said 2

  • I think he's trying not to mess it up. I am more than 90% sure. He is calculating and carefully taking steps. See, dating is not always related to the 2 people. It is highly linked to their pasts. Maybe he fucked it up real bad with someone else before and doesn't want to make the same mistake again?

    • Could be. I know him well enough to know he's extremely scattered - I've seen it in how he handles work and so you may have something there.

    • Show All
    • Yeah exactly - I have been :)

    • message me if you feel any more questions growing up in your mind

  • He's just taking it slow, pretending to be nice but like u said he want to have sex right? It's very confusing to date this kind of people but u also said he doesn't even set a definite real date with you. It sounds like he's just playing mind games, i think u should move on and stop wasting time on him!

    • Thanks, well I hear you, because the advice out there would just say hey in this amount of time, he should be taking you out more, rather than playing it cool. But I don't want to let this linger so let's hope he gets in touch and then we can discuss it. I have to also admit early on he struck me as a really selfish person and maybe it's just that - he isn't thinking about what I might need.

    • Yeah, i doubt if u really liked him, u might ask him out indirectly. But move on, advises from multiple people saying.

    • I told him if he wanted to come for a small party I was making for Thanksgiving and he said he had already promised to go to his brother's house. I realize we're not a serious item yet, but he didn't ask to take me or even say yet when he was going to see me. That's what I'm saying it's like he expects me last minute to drop things (but I don't) so he's not a great planner, but to me it feels as if it's just not a high priority to be with me.