Why do girls insist of having guy friends?

My girlfriend in particular has guy friends she thinks its okay to hang out with a bunch of guys when she's my girlfriend when someone ha a girlfriend or boyfriend opposite sex friendships should be kept casual not going out with them andhanging around them.

Peoguy dont talk to girls to be friends if a guy is talking to my girlfriend chances are he's probably thinking off ucking her so whats the deal? Its not that hard to figure out. Or should I dum my girl? I dont trust any girl enough to have her have guys around her house often

Updates:
I'd like to inform I just dumped her, thank you for all the opinions and I feel soo much better now she can be with some other stupid guy who believes her "just friends" bullshit

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow. I have male friends, some married, some in committed relationships, some single. I would expect to hang out with them on occasion; to me, that is casual. I'm not dating them or getting intimate with them; I trust that have good sense and self-control not to try anything.

    Sometimes, I will meet with one of them on a one-on-one basis, but it's usually in a professional capacity or to ask their opinion on something from a guy's perspective (usually, it's to evaluate my S. O.'s behavior). It's not to sleep with any of them. Even if they did have the idea that they wanted to get with me, I would think they would have the common sense and decency not to act on it. It can be done. Not everyone has the hots for anything walking.

    It just sounds like you were looking for any reason to dump her, and you used the guy friends as an excuse to do so. Based on the logic you provided in your comments and responses, the same would seemingly apply to her having any kind of interpersonal interaction with male co-workers. Is she not allowed to have a job because guys work there and might try to bang her?

    Perhaps your beliefs would go fittingly in a culture that oppresses women and stones them for similar "offenses." For now, though, I would definitely try to work on that insecurity (let's call it what it is) before getting into another relationship, because that kind of toxic thinking will continue to yield the same result, regardless of who you're with.

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    • I'm not insecure but I think that a boyfriend should go before a guy she's only meet for a week , he said he likes her and all of a sudden he's getting invited to her house? if it was one of her old guy friends I wouldn't bat an eye. then all of a sudden I call her cause we were late to the place I have to take her no answers she calls me an hour latter saying her phone was on vibrate/silent when it NEVER before has been in eight monthS? shadyy

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    • go away nobody cares psycho

    • Perhaps you should take your own advice.

Most Helpful Guy

  • See I couldn't be cool with this causeis the likely the girl would be getting a train ran on her

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What Girls Said 24

  • Lol I hope you're not serious. Your opinion implies two things:

    1. Men only care about girls for potential sex, and therefore are incapable of enjoying a friendship with them.

    2. Girls will only stay faithful if all other penises stay far away from her.

    And both of those are ridiculous.

    Now, consider this. One, you don't get to control who your girlfriend hangs out with. You're not her babysitter. Two, these guys are her friends and they're important to her. It's stupid for her to cut ties with them just because she's in a relationship.

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    • how can someone you know for a week be important to you? there's some guys I'm fine with her being friends with because they are REAL friends not some creep she met in college a week or so ago and sudden are all bets buddies and shit? that's shady AF.

      I don't have a problem with guy who are her real friends but I'm a mna and I can tell when a dude just wants to fuck my girlfriend*facepalm*

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    • Asker: "if someone hot comes along temptation is gonna strike no matter who you are with"

      So you're basing your opinion off of how you feel YOU would/could possibly behave in such a situation? I think that sends up more red flags than anything you've said about your (ex) girlfriend.

    • Yeah I have felt that way to some of my female friends and thats why I keep them to aquaintances I do not invite them to my house in private or go to theirs or go out with themI just say hi small talk and bye out of respect for my girlfriend at that time and thats the type of respect I expect to recicieve

  • Wow, insecure much?

    People have friends of the opposite sex because they have FRIENDS. And sometimes those friends will turn out to be of a sex or gender they could be attracted to 'cos, hey, ain't no hormones or chromosomes gonna stop people from liking shit and bonding with others over liking the same shit.

    Either you learn to trust and respect your partner (and the opposite sex in general), or... it just doesn't work. Sorry, bro. But controlling your partner's social interactions in daily life just ain't gonna fly.

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    • have you read my other post? I dont control her or tell her what do to I have a big problem with her hanging out in privite with a guy she only knows for two weeks and she herself told me he is attracted to him... not shady at all

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    • Oh, ok. I'm sorry if I came over as too harsh then.

    • Its okay XD

  • Because your genitals doesn't dictate whether or not I can be friends with you?

    If you can't trust that your girlfriend can't tell a perv to fuck off then you shouldn't be with her. Because if any of my male friends took a pass at me I'd tell them to fuck themselves.

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    • Of course I dont any girl under the pressure of any good looking guywill eventually give it away oncluding you and my girlfriend fuck this

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    • I'm an egalitarian, check my profile.

    • Also you told me that if a hot guy approached me that I'd fuck him regardless of not knowing me so I take that as insulting, so really, don't play innocent my friend.

  • There is a difference between having male friends with good conversations/casual activities and someone you're spending the night with. There could very well be nothing happening when someone does indeed stay over at a house, but it isn't very sensitive to relationships (with significant others). And that is what needs to be considered here.

    I, in general, have more guy friends than female friends. I enjoy my time with them; our interests have thus far been more aligned than with anyone else. If someone I was dating did not trust me and respect these important friendships, then the bigger issue is that he *doesn't trust me*, and THAT is a problem. I don't want trust issues anywhere in a relationship -- on either side. It does not bode well.

    The key is to be aware of your partners feelings, to discuss things, to include them, and to believe in one another. Avoiding these friends "crashing" on your couch is one way to be conscious and thoughtful. But completely erasing any possible contact? That is not reasonable.

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    • there's is no 100% that she won't cheat hence no trust fuck that anyway I broke it off

  • I have to say I agree here. I learnt only recently that majority of guys just want sex.
    Can you believe I have only one guy friend after all these years, that's because they all left because they realized they won't get any.
    Don't mean to boast (but I am too proud) but when my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me doing something, I stop out of my own choice and respect for him. People aren't like that anymore.

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  • Well, maybe because around half the population of the world is male and we no longer live in a society where women are sequestered from the male view. Women can have male friends. You're just insecure and paranoid because you don't love yourself or think you have enough to offer someone in a relationship.

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  • If you continue to be so controlling and possessive you will end up driving everyone away from you... just a tip.

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    • being controling is one thing but I dont mind her real guy friends this guy came meet her for two weeks confessed he liked her (said by her) and no all of a sudden is getting invited to her house and puts her phone on silent which she has never done before?

    • You should talk to her straight up about your concerns

  • I have a best friend who I have known since middle school. Very weird funny guy. I am not gonna stop hanging out with him. Also I am not completely streight so am I not suppose to have female friends to? That does not make sense. My roommate is like a father figure. If not for him I would be homeless, or living with my abusive parents. My boyfriend knows that I am his and only his. I am loyal to him. He is not insecure about me having guy friends. When I go out with my guy friends I always pay for myself. I have had a few guy friends hit on me or try to make moves and they are no longer friends of mine.

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    • "I have had a few guy friends hit on me or try to make moves and they are no longer friends of mine."

      Like I said no problem with a lot of her friends but this guy she known for two weeks said he liked her and now he's getting invited over she shouldve done what that last line of yours said

    • He sounds disrespectful. I hate people who ruin relationships and go after people who are taken.

  • because maybe they want guys point of view!

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    • from a guy that said he like her and she still keeps him around? hmmm not suspicious at all huh?

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    • I just did

    • wow! Thats great!

  • It's the 21st century, most girls have guy friends. The problem is not her having guy friends, its you not trusting her. Either she is giving you reason not to trust her, or else you have trust issues.

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    • it is both but I already called and ended the relationship she can hang with her little buddy all she likes now :)

    • This issue will never go away for you, thats what my advice was about. Unless she was giving you reason not to trust her (if she has a history of cheating or if she's clearly seeing the guy) then you are going to have the same "problem" in future relationships

    • nope she did kinda shady how this guy she's only known for two weeks and said he liked her got invited to her house straight of the bat? she shouldve just told him to fuck off and be done with it

  • I can't say that I have had guy friends. I have had guy friends, but all of them would have jumped at the chance to date me.

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  • Because we like having friends, and just so happen to get on with guys, as well as girls? I have a lot of male friends, because I'm into a lot of the same things of them, like comics, gaming, sci fi, etc. Most girls aren't into the same stuff as me, so if I limited my friends to my gender, I wouldn't have many mates.

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  • I agree with you guys don't talk to girls just to be friends. Never it happened to me, yes they did say Oh just friends, just friends, but never kept their promises. It seems a guy and a girl can't friends, i don't generalize speaking only from my own experience. And i heard this saying somewhere

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    • This saying about girls They love their friends or friends don't exist

    • I mean as a guy I can tell when a guy is trying to have sex with my girlfriend... shady

  • girls like to be friends with guys because they like there company number 1 and number 2 girls like being friends with guys because guys don't cause drama I online I have a few guy friends who I'm friends with but as for your question it sounds like your girlfriend should have said to her guy friend that she's in a relationship with u

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    • but guys only talk to girls cause they are attracted or want to fuck them it's a fact usually female to male friendhsip is only platonic from the female side

    • oh not all guys are like that your girl friend was probably hanging out with and talking to the wrong guys

  • have u asked if they are gay, and if they are not gay then its okay for girls to hang out with guys because some girls get along better with guys than girls...

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    • nope its a straight guy who said he liked her so I broke up with her

  • Because sometimes women just throw too much shade.

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    • and guy friend dont wanna bang them? thats shade too

    • You obviously don't know the difference between shade and shady.

    • whatveeer still shady af

  • Why do humans insist of forming platonic bonds with other humans? gosh. Ridiculous

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    • platonic my ass. I never meet a straight guy whos friends with a girl just to be friends guys talk to girls cause they like them

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    • You can't accidentally cheat... what did she slip and fall on a dick?

    • hence the air quotes

  • -facepalm-

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  • I hang out with a lot of guys but they are my best friends 4 ever necause I've known them since 1-10 you shouldn't dump her girls hanging out with guys a lot but if you do dump her than they might go for her

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  • dude... you sound f*cking crazy... with severe trust issues... I think you did her a favor

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    • have you read any of my other responses? dont be judgmental without knowing..

      I have no problem with all her guy friends just this ONE guy who she meet two weeks and herself told me he said he wanted more with her all of sudden said guy is getting invited home... totally not suspicious at all

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    • Yeah, every girl YOU apparently know. how would you even know that they kept guy friends around for validation? What girl even says that?

    • Hmm my close female friend admit to this and they tell me their friends do the same. and girls on GAG have admited to it too but hey man I'm man which means anything bad I say about women willl be bashed by the female gag members anyway

  • Because we value them as human beings and appreciate their company despite not necessarily wanting to pursue anything further with them? I'm not going to keep someone who could be my best friend at a distance; friends are precious, regardless of their genitals.

    Anyway, it sounds like you made the right choice in dumping your girlfriend, given your issues with it. I might disagree on the friend issue, but the important thing is that you're happy with your relationship, and if this is a big problem for you and she's not willing to budge, then breaking up is the healthiest thing for both of you.

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    • I'm fine with normal guy friend but she meet this guy two weeks ago she told me he fessed that he liked her and she invited hm to her house... I'm her boyfriend of eight months and was her friend for four years before that weighing the one who should be a priority is not that hard

  • Most of my friends are guys. I don't even think about fucking them! You would be the one who'd have to leave the picture...

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    • yeah but I bet you know them for long not just two week in college and then chose him over your boyfriend. She didn't answer my calls or texts (I was supposed to drive her to the store cause she asked me yesterday) but suddentl mr two weeks appeared and she stopped texting me imediately till he left? I dumped her ass she was 100% cheating on me shady as hell

    • Sometimes I don't know them for long. But really, I only answered your question, no idea about the rest of it. Best of luck!

  • Maybe learn to trust your girlfriend? Having friends of the opposite gender never hurt anyone. Even if they were interested in her she won't do anything with them if she's happy with you.

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    • girls will cheat if the other guy is hot enough no matter how good the boyfriend is lol

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    • Lol wow. Friend of 4 years, boyfriend of 8 months, and then you suddenly dump and block her. All because she had a guy friend who was interested in her (that she didn't act on). Good to see how much she meant to you.

      Yeah, you did her a favor.

    • yeah but you ignore the fact that she choose that friend of two weeks over what bother me who am supposed to be a bigger part of her life? hasn't asnwered my calls or messages untill the guy left? nahh man she was def chetaing on me, good ridance

  • Relationship is all about respecting each other. If her friendship makes you feel unsure or insecure then you should talk to her about it. Instead of arguing or making a big deal out of it, try explaining yourself to her.

    If she really cares, she might not ditch her friends or something, but she would try her best to make you feel secure and/or try to do something about the situation.

    But before that give your situation some thought. Is your girlfriend a tomboy? Or is there any reason in particular that she is comfortable in being friends with guys.

    And may be... Try to be the friend she needs, instead of wearing the boyfriend tag.
    Hope that helps.

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    • Like I said it's just some guy that appeared out of the blue. I'm 100% sure he liked her and is pushing for more because herself have told me he said he likes her yet she keeps hanging around him that's shady as fuck

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    • too late i already dumped her she's calling me and I won't answer... its over I dont trust shady girls

    • now she can be with her friend all she likes without me being in the way so I hope she has fun because she choose this, not me

What Guys Said 19

  • Girls (and guys) can be friends with whoever they damn well please. Their significant other can like it or lump it.

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    • You might find you get more productive responses to giving a specific example or situation, as opposed to a vague what if scenario. Sorry that shit happened to you.

    • yeah i have to be specific

  • Thing is you either trust her, or you dont. Both is fine, but you can't dictate who she is friends with. All you can do is let her know you don't like it, which im sure you have done.
    If you can trust her, then you should find someone you do, or examine why it makes you nervous.
    On a side note, would you be ok with it if the guys were married?

    by the way, i totally get where you're coming from. Its easy for people to preach, but it can feel like you're leaving you're calf in the care of wolves. Trusting someone always leaves you wide open for a sucker punch

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  • Less drama probably. My girlfriend is more of a "Tomboy" and naturally has always had much more guy friends. I think its good if she has friends really, want her to have friends. Although sadly somewhat, it seems she lost almost all her friends since met me, but maybe cause choose to spend time with me rather. But in either case, is nothing wrong with having male friends of course. I always had more female friends also.

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  • A relationship is based on mutual trust. So, from there you should let her hang out around guys friends as long as it does not go beyond friendship.

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    • a guy she meet a week ago and saiud he likes her and all of a sudden she invited him home? ignoring my calls then giving me an excuse that her phone was on vibrate, when it NEVER before has been?

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    • Well, I do believe that you should tell your girlfriend that you need to have a serious discussion with her, in order to know where the relationship is going. You can take her to a coffee shop or whatsoever just in order to be both of you alone so you can talk without being in the presence of the undesired guy.
      However, you can not be selfish and tell her that either he goes away or I go away. This will be seen as selfish, so avoid doing so.

    • but I'm not gonna stay if he stays cause I'm not gonna play the foool as i said

  • I feel like this whole post would of made a lot more sense if you included all the information from the get-go.

    Anyways I agree with you.

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    • adhd is a bitch sorry

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    • I know but meh girls in particular where gonna take her side anyway like feminism an all that

    • Yeah there rare, but there are some girls with sense on here.

  • ""I dont trust any girl enough to have her have guys around her house often""

    And that's why she's better off with any guy who's a bit more mature regarding social relations

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    • oh yeah she invited a guy home who she only knows two weeks , he said he liked her, I was supposed to drive her somehwere , called her and no answer for a few hours, her phone was suposedly on silent or vibrate some shit when she has never done that before EVER in eight months! I didn't et a reply untill mr two weeks left... hmmm totally overeacting :)

  • All I can see is that you are shitty boyfriend material. I feel bad for the girl who you trick into being "yours" :'(

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    • without insulting you for that stupiud remark.

      I dont have problem with most of her guy friends just with this particular one she known him for two weeks, he told her he liked her and suddenly he's getting invited to her house and she ignored my calls till he leaves? shady as fuck or not shady?

  • You're either insecure with your ability to keep a woman around or you don't trust your partner. The very cause of jealousy.

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    • nope cause we were fine before she pulled this crap guy friends and all but this is a bit too shady

  • I wonder what she would say if you said you 2 were moving to another state or country for that matter. Could she leave her friends and only be with you? I mean you should be the only friend she needs, to be honest.

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    • You know what I was reading your responses and I think your correct. Lets do a role reversal... why would YOU invite another girl home when you already have one? I know I wouldn't... ESPECIALLY if I was hearing complaints!

    • Nope I wouldn't I have some female friend who are attracted to me one time one even flashed me her boobs and I still walked away and kept her at arms lenght only comunicating through facebook but I wqould never bring her home again

  • Clearly, you are a jealous person. A lot of girls will find that a turn-off, but some will like that you find them so special that you want to own them and commit to them.

    You should try to get to the point where what matters is keeping your agreements concerning monogamy/honesty/sharing/.

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    • like I keep saying no I'm not jealous I'm getting a particular vibe from this ONE guy that I don't like one bit she has other guy friend who I have no problems with because they seem to be real friends not some dude trying to fuck her

    • Well, that's quite different from what you said. I guess you don't express yourself very well.

    • yep I have adhd sooo sometimes things come out weird the first time around

  • cuz I believe they can tell many things to the guys which the guys will not go around telling other. I mean, most men are not really gossiping grannys.

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  • As long as she's fine with you hanging out with female friends I don't see a problem.

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  • I don't know sometimes I think its easier for them they get along better, or have a different way of thinking

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  • Because hanging around girls 24/7 is boring.

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  • A girl should never have a lot of guys around her all the time. Same goes for guys with their opposite sex.

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  • Guys are just so much cooler!

    Guys rule, and girls drool :P

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  • Fuck her man as hard as you can so that She will forget anyone else.

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  • Lets cut the sht. bro, I wouldn't want that either. Everyone is fcking insecure in one way or another. can't they just deal with it? But If she allows you to have girl... friends... then whatever... not worth to stress with. Just hang out and worse case scenario she cheats on you even abit... even talking flirt etc emotional crap... then... i suggest you pick another cuter girl.

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  • Simple. Only date women with no male friends.

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    • I would but there isn't any cause they all like their attention they think men are stupid

    • Yep they love and are obsessed with attention.

    • it's fucking ridiculous

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