Was I too harsh to him?

I just cancelled a date and regret it now...
I met a guy and we had sex pretty early, cause I actually initiated it, but he has been writing me after it a lot!!! I am not used to it at all, cause most of the times the guys disappear for a few days or start playing some games, but this guy seems to be very nice. He texted me right after and he seems very into me. He obviously wants more sex, but he has not pressured me and he answers all my texts and it's going very well... too well for me I guess :/
I am not yet very into him, I do like him kind of (we've just met), but I don't need to meet someone too often. I do enjoy the attention, but I dont know if I want to go further. I also enjoy spending time with him, but I think there is no future, and I dont want to get too attached. If I spend more time with him, this might happen cause he is treating me very nicely and he is very attentive. BUT since i've only had messed up relationships and met assholes, I am used to that... I don't even care now if a guy doesn't text me after we meet, cause it's opens up new opportunities...

I seem to like bad, assshole behaviour more?

I have to add that I am not a very emotional person. I don't even believe in love. I honestly think it's just a biochemical process and I also don't believe that love is long-lasting. it just disappears after guys get what they want, get the girl, then no one really cares about the other.


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What Guys Said 1

  • This poor guy has done everything most women SAY they wish guys would do, and yet because he is being nice you treat him like crap. Cut this poor guy loose before you fuck with his head anymore. Let him find a women worthy of him.

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    • Yes I agree with you... but you can't force to fall in love with someone?
      i can't be him, o love him, just because he is nice?

      I want to continue meeting him, but I want to take it slowly and meet as friends, maybe make out etc, but I don't want to continue with this pace... I didn't plan to meet a boyfriend (I am on exchange and I really hate this place. I can't wait to go back home). I dont want to have nice experiences here or meet anyone here, cause I don't plan to stay here. That's another reason. I actually planned to have an affair and just meet from time to time to have sex... but since he is nice, I feel I can't do this to him, cause he is showing signs of becoming attached...

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    • currently living in London... i hate this place so much, the lifestyle etc..
      coming from another west european country

    • OK, good luck to you.

What Girls Said 1

  • You're just used to picking the wrong guys! Don't treat this guy badly just because you've been treated bad by other guys! I'm not trying to be mean, but I can't stand when a girl says stuff like u just said! U might miss out on a great guy but you're knocking him bc of what other guys have done to u! & if ur scared of getting attached, u shouldn't have had sex with him so early bc now he's gonna feel closer to u bc sex is supposed to bring people closer! So I think u are kind of messed up for that alone! U could be a great person BUT I think u are wrong for what u are doing... U should talk to him about how u feel & tell him that you're scared that you'll end up hurt! Don't make this guy pay for what other guys have done to u

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    • i am just going to avoid sex! but he always suggest going to his place after we've been somewhere.
      I feel that I can't meet his expectations (to have more sex), cause i don't want to right now...

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    • Well don't feel like you're a bad person! A bad choice does NOT make u a bad person! I just think that IF u like him, then talk to him about how u feel! I think it will be hard tho bc it's like u gave him sex early & now ur trying to take it away & not move too fast but y'all already took it really really far! If u feel like u don't wanna pursue anything with him, it's OKAY to just tell him that u think he's very sweet but u don't want to get serious & U don't want to be in that kind of relationship with him & just be platonic friends! If u stay & lead him on, THAT will make u a bad person! Being honest with someone in a nice way is never bad ;) so tell him how u feel! He's probably inviting u back to his place for more sex, yes BUT he probably feels comfortable doing that bc y'all have already took it there! Ur not a bad person! I just think u should let him go tho bc I don't think you're really feeling him like that! Just let him go nicely tho & inform him of your reason too!

    • it's really confusing, cause I dont know what I want. I feel that he feels the same.
      Last time, we did some non sexual activity and he didn't ask me to go to his place, but I did, cause he didn't ask me this time and I really wanted it.
      He was sweet before too, but after it, we didn't really talk much, we cuddled a bit, and he walked me off and texted me after I arrived... I don't get him...

      After that, he asked me a few times to come over and started getting sexual, but I decliend and didn't engange in that kind of questions... did I reject him by not going there? Normally, he suggested doing other things, like going somewhere, but this time, he didn't. I am not going to suggest anything either, cause I feel rejected now... I asked him a few times what he was going to do, but I only got vague answers... I think he is becoming lazy, too confortable... so typical for men

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