How do I read this situation with my guy friend?

So I need to begin by saying I have been dating a guy for 2 years but we are in the process of calling a quits.

My good friend Pat, who I am not dating but we've been friends for 8 years, is aware of everything that has been going on with my current boyfriend. While Pat and I have never dated - I know on my end there has always been a slight attraction to him. I never entertained dating him though because I always assumed he saw me as a friend and in turn that is how I chose to see him.

2 weeks ago, Pat had told me he has recently developed feelings for me and while they aren't anything serious he needed me to know because he has had a hard time keeping it to himself. He then kissed me.

Since then, I told him the truth about how I have felt - and that even now - I feel like I would like to explore what we have when I am completely single.

We have spent time together and he has been forward with his feelings towards me (telling me different things we could do together if dating is in line for us). He always reassures me that he just wants me to be happy and no matter what I choose to do with my current boyfriend he wants me to be at peace. He says frequently when we are together how he wants to be with me but doesn't want to make things more difficult or confusing and apologizes if he is making me confused. He was texting me a lot during the day to say hello. Several nights ago we were up late together talking and hanging out.

I told him I was going to end it completely 2 nights agoy with the guy I am dating but when the day came around I was unable to do it because of circumstances that were out of my control.

If I am being honest - I am developing really strong feelings for Pat which I think have always been there. I feel like A terrible person for even entertaining the idea of another relationship when I am not single. I am also so afraid that Pat will lose interest in me - leaving me heartbroken even more than I currently am.

Within in the past 3 days, Pat has seemed distant in communication - not texting a ton or taking a long time to respond. I hope he isn't losing interest.

I need some insights on this situation. If a guy talks to you openly about how he feels, what is the likelihood that he would suddenly stop feeling that way? How can I tell if he likes me?

thank you!


What Guys Said 1

  • He didn't lose interest. If anything, he thinks you've lost interest. A guy doesn't profess his feelings and then suddenly lose them. But when you're still with a boyfriend, there isn't much he can do after telling you how he feels.

    You have a weird situation here. 2 guys apparently want you. Do you WANT to break up with your current boyfriend? If you truly are done with him, you probably shouldn't be delay breaking it off. Also, I'm not sure you should go running to Pat so quickly after the break up either. Take some time to yourself to put all the pieces together and find what exactly you want to do.


What Girls Said 1

  • He might have started to cool off after you didn't break up with your current boyfriend... just my opinion on this. Guys tend to be very decisive in analysing situations (as in, they don't think things through properly) and when he saw you didn't break up with your boyfriend, maybe he thought you weren't serious. Also from his point of view, he's the vulnerable one, not you. You're the one who has two guys and he wants you but he has to wait for you to act...

    I'd say talk to him honestly about all this and ask if he's feeling okay. If you've been friends for that long it shouldn't be hard to be honest about your fears.