17 and pregnant.. Boyfriend is a 22 year old marine?

We have known each other for a year , almost two. I will be 18 in a month and I'm one month pregnant.

Should I marry him when I turn 18 so he can help with the baby? I also live in a small apartment by myself working 2 jobs.. I don't know if I'm making the right choice or not.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't need to be married for him to help with the baby. You shouldn't get married if you don't love him, because it won't last and a divorce is just one more complication that you don't need. . . but if you love him, getting married would be nice,

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he suggested that y'all get married say yes. He is your baby's father and deserves to be present in your baby's life. Now the thing is i you do marry him and then later get a divorce it would be better for you to not have married him in the first place. If he tries to do what's right by you then he will do the same with the baby. Talk to friends, family, and older people that know both of you and that you trust a lot. i hope this works out well for you and that he turns out to be a good father. Just remember the most important thing at first is to take care of the baby. Please, please, please do not have an abortion!!

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What Guys Said 14

  • Only marry if it is our of love for both of you.

    If you marry, the military provides extra money for the spouse's support, and they provide medical. If you marry (for love) there will be help from the military.

    If you do not marry, and he backs away from supporting you, you can go to the military and they are most likely to force him to support you, even taking part of his pay before he gets it and sending it to you.

    The decision on what to do is yours, just giving you some facts to work with.

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  • Definitely not the right choice in my opinion, but if abortion or adoption is off the table... Do what is best for you. Don't marry just for the sake of it.

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  • A military having a child out of wedlock with an underage girl?

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  • it depends if you are ready to get married. the most important thing is to support the child and raise it well. you will have no choice to live the adult life at a young age but say to yourself that its worth having a child and especially when you are young because you will see him grow up for a long time. i believe life is about having children so you made the right choice. don't think about love because the child is more important. work 2 jobs to support the child and once your child starts school go back to school to get a better education. so many young teens do that they go back to school later on when the child starts school. just remember that partying and having fun with friends will not be the same anymore but its worth raising a child.

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  • He may still go yo jail and end his military career.

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  • you should probably let him know... also, that's pretty weird that a 22 year old would have sex with a 17 year old. besides statutory rape and a huge age gap... anyways, if he denies it, you can always go this route :D

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw57CRiTxzw

    you whether or not he marries you, he'll have to pay child support if he is the father.

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    • 5 years is nothing compared to 11-14 years that many married couples have. I turn 18 in one month. Consent here is 16. Regardless, that part isn't what I was asking.

    • well, i follow the 1/2 age +7 rule. plus, it's still a pretty big age gap for that age range. 1 could be finished in college while the other (you) is borderline old enough to graduate high school. either way, you don't marry someone because y'all are having a kid. y'all marry each other if you actually love each other.

  • Don't marry him just because. He is the father and legally has a responsibility to help you with that child, married or not. Aw babies, how nice. Just think, you'll be a grandma at 37. Not many people can say that!

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  • with marriage comes responsibility. I think he would be a very responsible person and he will be a great husband for you. Marrying him will help you and your baby but that's just my opinion :)

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  • Big fucking mistake and wrecklessness.

    Marrying jsut because u got prego does not work most times.

    Single mothers divorce rate is 75 percent. ...
    98 percent of prisoners are raised by singe mom's.

    I m assuming it won't work out... he fucked a minor and you guys are in different phases in life. It doesn't come off a legit relarionship

    Good luck and be a goood mom... I feel sorry for the cild

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    • What the fuck she's fucken 17 years old okay she's having a fucken baby u can't tell her this kind of shit okay what if u were the father and she said I'm pregnant with ur child what would u do and plus the fathers a fucken marine have some respect he can die fighting he's gonna b a great father

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    • i got a sense of respect for you through your ability to accept it for what it is. people who tell you sugar coated half truths are harmful because they steal your reality preventing preparation. its the easiest way not to help someone and invest the least amount of energy.

      I've studied parenting/ family and everything in between for the last decade. marrying for the baby has proven a failure most times. people aren't happy.

      despite what and how your relationship with you boyfriend is, i strongly suggest finishing your education, having your parents involved in raising your child and grandparents are proven to be extremely beneficial to the childs growth/health/happiness.

      establishing a bond with the main caregiver from 2 to 6 is extremely important as it will set a foundation for all relationships the child will have in his/her lifetime. depriving the child during these stages significantly increases your childs chance of having personality/mental disorders etc.

    • its not hopeless but a lot of hard work and mental strength.

      wish you and the child the best.

  • Is this a serious question? You don't have to marry him so he can help with the baby... he either will or he won't. Depends on the type of person he is. By law he's required to help at least monetarily though

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  • this not something u should ask here go to therapist n stuff tell ur friends and ur parents too before taking the risky decision u will

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  • Your completely screwed

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  • U should go and do therapy about why the fuck u are pregnant at age of 17 and go back to school.

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    • Excuse you, I'm graduated. You must haven't read this throughly. This is coming from a 16 year old? Come on.

  • You shouldn't have had sex without protection. You are too young. Also apparently an idiot since you didn't take an after pill. You are not making the choice that I would, were I ever in your position. Get rid of the baby or give it up to adoption.

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What Girls Said 15

  • I hope that he will help you support this child regardless of whether or not you marry him. It is also his child. He is legally obligated to at the very least provide monetary support as the father. He has some income as a marine.

    When it comes to marrying him, I think that decision should be based on the happiness of you and of your boyfriend. He can still be a father without being married to you.

    Friends of mine who had unhappily married parents, who had married through a sense of obligation, felt the negative effects of that. They were happier seeing their parents separately happy later than they had been seeing them unhappy together.

    I hope you and your boyfriend are able to talk about this and make a decision that you both feel is best for the three of you.

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  • If you're marrying for anything other than love then you shouldn't be getting married. There's nothing stopping him from being an active parent and helping to raise the child while being your boyfriend. Marriage is much more than a piece of paper, if this is the only reason you'd marry him it's almost certain to fail. Just focus on being parents. Don't marry a person you have no intention of spending all of your life with.

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  • i think you should at least tell your boyfriend about it then decide together what to do next

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  • No. You shouldn't be marrying him just because of the baby. So many people marry for the wrong reasons. Don't be one of those people. Marry for the right reasons. If you love him and he loves you then yes but if it's because of the baby then it isn't worth it. It will just hurt you and him in the future.

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  • Go for it. I wish you happiness.

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  • Oh so you want to trap him with marriage because you're afraid that he'll leave otherwise? Two wrongs don't make a right, marriage won't magically solve everything and I'm 95% sure you'll be getting a divorce in a few years if you do end up marrying each other, given the fragile circumstances.

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    • Um... You do not know us. I was hoping to get some opinions from others who have been in my situation. I'm not trapping him into anything, I just don't want my child to grow up without his/her father. Getting deployed, and not coming back.

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    • OMG
      not even what I'm saying... Goodbye.

    • Byebye

  • oh Damn. I guess your going to have to force him or something or just write your name on the birth certificate... I am sorry. I feel like you have no choice unless you want an abort.

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  • Honestly, no you shouldn't.

    This is what I thought about lol

    www.kappit.com/img/pics/201507_2119_abifd_sm.jpg

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  • He has to agree with marriage first? If he doesn't want to help out financially, he's not ready and nor should you think a marriage will fix everything. He might feel pressured and break up with you eventually. The most important thing is that he will be there for the baby.

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  • Well what I think you need to do is sit down and talk with him and tell him what is going on and how you feel. Work things out and decide how you guys are going to proceed. Maybe wait to make a big commitment like marriage if the topic becomes a big deal.

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  • Don't marry him just so he can help with the baby. He should already be helping with the baby even if you aren't married. You probably should've thought about all of this before you go pregnant. If I was living by myself working two jobs I would be exxxttrraaa careful not to get pregnant because 1.) That's tiring. and 2.) can't afford it. but don't marry him just because of the baby. That's not cool and that marriage is destined to fail.

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  • Do you want the child and do you feel like you can care for it even without the help of your boyfriend?

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  • You dont need to get married, dont feel forced to do so. I think is better to not rush, you dont need to do it now, see how everything goes, marriage is a serious thing and u need to think about it carefully with your partner.

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  • Please do not think that having a baby will make a man want to marry you. Tell your boyfriend you are pregnant.

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  • Don't marry for the sake of a baby. Tell your boyfriend and make a plan.

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