My boyfriend will list off numerous things he wants for birthdays/holidays/anniversarys but will never get me anything or ask if I want anything?

I have been with him for 5 years and during every single holiday or birthday or anniversary I end up getting him a lot of gifts. He will claim he doesn't want me to, but then will turn around in that same sentence and tell me what he wants, knowing that I will get it for him. He has bought me roses once for one of my birthdays and lotions one year for Christmas (that I ended up rubbing his back with, so I think he bought it for him because he refuses to rub my back with lotions) and that was it.

I don't want to assume this is a "guy thing" because I have known many men who wanted to buy me gifts or their girlfriends gifts but my boyfriend just doesn't want to? I don't know why it bothers me because I am far from materialistic. I would be just as happy with a hand written letter and a cheap dinner that he made for us. But it's really starting to bother me because its always take and no give with him. Am I not worthy of gifts? Or is my boyfriend just a cheap man? Like its really starting to get to me because I kind of feel like he doesn't care?

My reasoning behind saying he doesn't care is because we had split up for 6 months and during that time we had both started seeing other people. He literally showered this new woman with gifts almost daily. He was constantly buying things for her. Granted he left her after a month of seeing her because he said that she was too materialistic and we started seeing each other again 4 months later. But he showered her with gifts and has never put in any effort to get me gifts?

Updates:
And no, I'm obviously not in this relationship for the gifts. Clearly. Considering I've been with him for five years and I've gotten two things this entire time. So if you are going to just assume that this is all I want like this woman who commented below than please don't even bother.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • lol, what a bastard.
    I'm not sure what else to say.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you aren't getting your needs met (sounds like it's been that way since you've been together) then you can't wait around trying to force him to change his behaviour, or hope he changes, you have to determine if you accept that relationship as it is, or if it isn't fulfilling for you. Make you own decisions, don't blame him for you dissatisfaction with his behaviour, you don't have to put up with it.

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    • I think I have a post that might help you, you seem to be a "giver" like a lot of women, and we need to realize that we can't expect others to match our efforts, but instead maybe exercise constraint on our giving. It's @ getresurgatized.com/.../

What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like he's the materialistic person in the relationship as far as I can see but maybe you should skip a holiday just to see what happens

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  • Sounds like he is just not considerate

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  • Leave him, he seems to be the type of guy who is stacked in the 18th century.

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What Girls Said 2

  • ... are you in this relationship for nothing but in hopes of receiving a lot of gifts?
    Also, if you don't want it to be so much taking, and not so much giving from his end, you could start with not giving him so many gifts anymore

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    • Wow. How dare you even assume that I am in it for a lot of gifts. Pathetic.

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    • Five years and I have gotten two things from him. You dare question ME about being I'm this relationship for gifts?

    • ahhah omg I don't even know you so no, don't worry. I haven't dared to question YOU.
      Just stop giving him so many gifts and see if he even notices or is bothered by it. Have you tried asking him why he essentially gives you nothing, and letting him know it bothers you?

  • Dump him he's a dick.

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