Having a racial preference in dating IS 100% racist. How can you not see this?

There's going to be 2 cases, the first where you're an 100% racist/bigot and you know it (the typical racist). Or the 2nd case, where you are an all around tolerant person except when it comes to who you choose to date, that does't necessarliy make you a bigot or hateful person, but that is 100 % racist. It's 'unconcious racism', in your head you've already decided that not one person in an entire race can be attractive to you. Every asian/black/white/whatever man/woman in the world no matter how much you have in common, no matter if you have the same religion, no matter if he/she attractive, intellegent, kind is not attractive to you. Think about that, you already blacklisted all of them based solely on their race, that is undeniably close minded and prejiduce. But can you be blamed and removed from the public square over this? Not really, because although it's a racist position, you aren't necessarily perpetuating racism. When these discussions arise, for the most part everyone's reactions are "oh, you can't choose who you like" or "that's just the way it is", wrong. Honestly, most people are not strong minded enough to overcome unconcious racism, these ideals come from the environment, the culture of racism, society etc. you just happened to be born in. But that is a whole nother discussion for a different time.

Updates:
tl;dr Preference is rooted in race.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i see it bruh. i see it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A white guy chiming in here, I prefer Latina's especially Mexican women. If you gave me an option of all races and nationalities of women with whom I had a chemistry with, I would choose the Mexican woman 10 times out 10. Does that make me bigoted? Racist? Narrow minded? Possibly. Do I give a shit? No because I'll live my life the way I want to and I do what pleases me, if some blue anon doesn't like it well that's not my problem.

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    • Are you a bigot or racist?

    • I wouldn't say so, I don't judge people on their race, though I do judge people on their personalities.

What Girls Said 6

  • Racism- the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

    Having a preference simply means you find the culture/mannerisms/physical appearance of one or certain races preferable over other ones. It in no way means you find the others genetically inferior.
    Nice try, though.

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    • Oh man, that factual argument gave me internal squeals of delight.

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    • So why don't you (assuming you don't) date other specific races? Because whether it's a conscious decision or not, you find their culture, or looks (most likely) less than (inferior) to yours or the other races you're willing to date.

    • I'm open to date males of any race. Perhaps certain cultures or religions I'd prefer not to, but not because I think they're inferior to myself. I simply see a conflict of interest there right from the get-go.

  • I disagree. There are a lot of issues that can come up in interracial dating (mostly social issues) and I don't think it's fair to blame someone for not wanting to deal with that... Relationships are difficult enough without added pressure.

    Also, everyone has a physical type so I don't think it's racist to say something like "I don't usually date Asians." It isn't much different than a guy who has a thing for redheads.

    People should be able to date whoever the heck they want and there are plenty of fish in the sea to suit everyone's tastes.

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    • I can tell you didn't read a word I typed.

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    • Even babies are physically programmed to prefer attractive faces. People can be attracted to whoever the hell they want.

      You sound like the type of person that claims everything is racist TBH.

      And I'd rather be a "comedian" than an asshole like you.

    • And by the way even 9 month old babies have shown to be able to distinguish races and by the age of 3, children identify emotions better with people of their own race.

      That's like saying guys who aren't attracted to other guys are homophobes.

  • People can be attracted to whoever they want to. Its not rasist to not want to date someone who features I do not find attractive. Just because I dont like features, does not mean I think an entire race is inferior or less human. Its just means that I personally do not feel attraction to certain people. I dont get wet thinking about certain people sexually. Like for real, thats like saying that im homophobic because I dont want to date another girl. Im ageist because I won't date a 80 year old. Im a fat shamer because I wouldn't date someone who is 600 pounds. I dont hate any of those people. I just dont want to fuck them. This is petty. People have waaaaay bigger fish to fry than if someone doesn't find them attractive.

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    • You just made a list of false equivalencies. those mean nothing and are not equal to this. No one is calling you a bigot, hateful or even racist because you can't really lambast someone for unconscious racism. But let's not act like "preference" isn't rooted in race.

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    • When the fuck did I say those things are all the same and equal? its an analogy not a false equivalency. i didn't say homophobia and racism are the same thing

    • You can't draw comparisons to things that aren't remotely analogous. You don't have to say they are the same when you keep on implying as much by saying things like "thats like saying that im homophobic because I dont want to date another girl," "Im ageist because I won't date a 80 year old", "Im a fat shamer because I wouldn't date someone who is 600 pounds" when we're having a discussion about race. If you realize they aren't the same thing, then stop comparing them like they are. Do you not understand what you, yourself are doing?

  • Ok... Do you want to arrest them? Or rape them if they refuse you? They still have freewill to choose. Why fucking worry about what other people chooses? Its not your life. Are you just saying cos you can't get elite white oussy or dick? You sound really controlling.

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    • I'm sorry you can't handle the fact you unknowingly partake in racism. I like you how automatically said white, not everyone is a white ass kisser.

  • Okay well since we can choose who like then anyone that's not bisexual is sexist for not dating someone of the same or opposite sex... But no ones going around protesting about that.

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    • Those are not analogous and that's also a false equivalency. And it's not you necessarily choose who you like, doesn't seem like you read it.

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    • @rebekahj391 Especially if you aren't mentally up to the task.

    • @rebekahj391 #Sorry, not sorry.

  • I've always thought this but I just avoid people like that.

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What Guys Said 15

  • You're one of those people (and God knows they're everywhere these days) who just can't get over race. Everything and anything is race-related. You see racism everywhere and you're even able to tell if someone you don't even know has "unconscious" racism. You probably see the world in terms of so-called "institutional racism" and "structural racism." All white people are probably racists, but they just don't know it. Whatever "cause" you think you're trumpeting, you don't do it any good by your ridiculous whining.

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    • Wrong on all accounts, except the institutional & structural racism part, if you can sit there and say those don't exist then you're not living on planet Earth. You're on of those people who denies racism exists, will end up taking your 2 year old to a gun range, vote Trump, and thinks abortion is a crime.

  • Having a racial preference doesn't necessarily mean the person has excluded every person from that race. There can just be a tendency to like certain common features or cultural aspects.

    Everyone has biases based on their experiences. No one sees the world completely objectively. How realistic do you think everyone being completely objective about everything that relates to race is? For example maybe movies influence a lot of men to prefer straight hair, British accents or a damsel persona. Assuming there is some bias for preferring straight hair, it could be argued that's a subtle form of racism. Maybe that is true but those biases and influences can be said about many traits projected to people through life. I don't see how that's possible to stop. Individual subconscious influences can shape preference. When there is public outcry over racism mass public support over aspects of racism like automatic hate of a person because of their skin color or not being hired for a job because of their color.

    I'm not saying that's fair but what's a solution?

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    • There is no need for a solution, I'm not trying to paint anyone as a bad person, it doesn't make you morally reprehensible, unless you are. I'm just saying it's naive for people to say this isn't based in a culture of racism.

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    • If it wasn't unconscious, is conscious racism okay?

      Do you mean you don't mean the comment "you're white, you don't need to worry about racism" isn't something that will cause me issues dating? I was thinking about how people perceive each other overall. I wasn't specifically talking about dating handicaps.

    • No conscious racism is not okay. And I mean in life all together.

  • i disagree.
    racism is defined as - the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

    it is possible to have a preference that you are attracted to. it can be entirely not based on choice but really just a deep down thing that attracts you to something. to say that i am attracted to the artwork of Claude Monet more than the artwork of Vincent Van Gogh isn't to suggest that Money is superior or Van Gogh is inferior. it's just my personal preference in what i find more empirically attractive

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    • also consider that a racist person doesn't "prefer" one race over another they see a certain race as superior (and not purely on looks) to another race

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    • That's exactly what I'm saying. You don't hate them or aren't a bigot (that I know of) but your environment causes the unconscious discrimination.

    • but we all discriminate to some extent in everything we do. i choose cucumbers that are firm and and good color. i choose cars that appeal to my own preference. I befriend people who don't lie. those are all ways in which i discriminate but it doesn't mean that i somehow think one thing is inferior. it's a preference and in some cases my preferences may be cast aside if something else is particularly appealing.

      racism would be that you hate a certain race and will not date them because you think that due to their race you are superior to that person. NOT when a certain race is preferred when it comes to attraction.

  • Preference is discrimination not racism. Go look up racism.

    We all discriminate when it comes to dating and it's ok.

    There is no law nor should there be one that stipulates you have to date everyone.

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    • Discrimination on the basis of race is racism.

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    • @takumii it is racism, why you don not like them I always find black loyal to their job, whatever they do.

    • Then why is " I don't date black people because I don't like them" not racist.

      'It is racist. Why you don not like them I always finds black make loyal boyfriend/girlfriend.'

  • Seriously? Who died and made you president of the galaxy, that you can tell people they can't decide who they sleep with?

    s.yimg.com/.../arnold+schwarzenegger+5.gif

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    • People can fuck whoever they want. That's not the point.

    • The point is you are saying, for example, that whites guys who only want to date white girls are doing something wrong/bad.

  • I wouldn't date a man. I'm not sexist tho lol.

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  • Ok, fine. Screw it. So I am racist in that regard. Now what?

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    • Nothing, I'm not trying to force you to date other races, but people think preference just comes out of nowhere, it doesn't.

  • If most people aren't strong enough to overcome it then what's the point of having this discussion?

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    • So we can't have discussion on things now?

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    • Doesn't matter if they can't accept it, it doesn't change the fact that it's unconsciously racist.

    • According to me, the point is, admitting that we all are racists someway or the other.

  • so you would force people to date people they don't have any attraction to.

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  • Racism is actually rooted in us and it is not always best for us either, I do not know but it happens automatically when you are trying to date a foreign girl.

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    • No it isn't, it's a learned behavior.

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    • I don't understand what you said in the last comment.

    • I will try to change my mind about the concept of racism, I liked your concept of racism, like its not rooted and we can change it as I am 100% racist.

  • My sister gets physically ill when she tries to eat Fuh (seriously - tried twice, threw up both times). Doesn't mean she hates the Vietnamese.

    Preference is not prejudice. Attraction isn't a wholly conscious act to begin with, and you can't shame someone into being attracted to a person or trait they don't find attractive. All of the indignant self-righteousness in the world won't change that.

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    • That is the false parallels to kill all false parallels. And preference is rooted in prejudice. And I said you can't blame/shame someone for it.

  • Not entirely true. It may be racist to an extent, though I can provide my examples on it. I simply do not find African Americans, Chinese or Japanese people attractive at all. I just can't do it, I have an Asian friend and have had plenty of African American friends before and yes in 7th grade ( Middleschool dating is the worst fucking thing ever, no point at all ) I dated an African American women. She was sweet and very mature as was I for being in 7th grade. I just... could not do it.

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  • it is very racist i agree.

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  • I think everyone one is set on what they are attracted to. For example, someone may be attracted to someone who has a great personality or someone who has a different personality from them. And then they have Pluses and Minuses. For example, someone who has blond hair and blue eyes, or someone who is European, or someone who is American (Minuses being the opposite of what was listed) These Pluses and Minuses are not always found in one person, and are not always looked for in someone, it's just an attraction. However, the biggest attention would be the base attraction (The first example). This is just my opinion. I don't believe having a preference in nationality is racist. I believe accusing someone for being racist for liking a nationality that is different than from the person sitting in front of them is racist. We cannot control who we are attracted to or how we are attracted to them. Again, that's my opinion.

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  • LMAO Yea idgaf about what anyone calls me racist or not racist i love every race on the planet but i do prefer Latinas because they give me heart problems.

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