My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot and I think a lot of the tension is because he pressured me into letting his best friend live in our apartment with us and he ignores me for his best friend. I know he's also busy with school and stuff (but so am I) uni is tough! I totally get it. But is it too much to expect like an hour or two hours of quality one on one time a week? And maybe some very small thoughtful romantic gestures? And belive me it would be reciprocal, because I already make those efforts for him. And I mean like really tiny things just to show he cares and is thinking about me like a cute text or bringing me an inexpensive little treat now and then, or asking to go for a walk with me or just literally anything! A few days ago I thought I'd grab him his favourite starbucks drink as a surprise and he was just like "oh awesome thanks" and went back to ignoring me for Smash Bros... which I also bought for him... Anyways last night we got in an argument and now he is hung over and sleeping on the couch which he's never done before he usually comes and snuggles up to me even if we argue. I just got annoyed that he didn't think of me enough to ask if I could come to this party with him. I have never gone to a party without asking the host if he can come and people are always just like "oh of course I expected you'd come together anyway but thanks for checking in!". So last night he comes in and snaps at me that I look grumpy (I was texting my friend about her dog dying so I explained that) and then he grabs alcohol that I bought to bring to his party whithout asking if I'd like to come or if he can take my stuff. Then he texts me halfway through the party saying everyone expected he'd bring me and that I should come but I was already in bed! I told him I knew he didn't really want me there and to just enjoy it without me. I don't think I'm being needy or clingy I just want to feel like his girlfriend and not a chore.
How can we stop fighting?
What Guys Said 1
There's no easy answer if either party is unwilling to communicate. It sounds like he wants time to himself, but of course there should be a limit to this (you're living together after all).
If your boyfriend is unwilling, too proud, or shy, to communicate his feelings, try asking his best friend (the one who moved in with you) for some insight. If he continues to shut you out, you may want to consider asking him about his goals in regards to your relationship.0
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